I am in recovery from alcoholism and addiction. I have been about eight months sober. For the past two week I have been having on again off again migraines that I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO BREAK! I have done everything that I needed to do to try and break it. I decided it was finally time to see my doctor.
I called my primary care physician to see if was able to get in day of-it wasnāt possible. It was recommended that I go to eitherthe ER or to urgent. Having thought nothing of it and knowing what a pain it is to go to the ER for a migraine I decided urgent care would be my best bet. Standard treatment for breaking a migraine is a shot of and anti-inflammatory tordal and 4 to 6 mg of dilaudid. I called ahead of time to insure I would be able to get the prescription.
I get into the office I explain to the Doctor I have a migraine, and that Iām in recovery. Now, I am not required to inform the doctor of this fact. I have no obligation! However, because I believe it is important to share this information with my medical professionals I did.
Now, when one is in recovery especially if one is working a healthy and honest program the very idea of taking a mood altering substance makes one physically ill. I AM HAVE NO DESIRE TO GET HIGH OR DRINK BECAUSE I HAVE A GREAT PROGRAM I AM WORKING. But as soon as the words come out of my mouth that I need something stronger than Advil, or aleve this doctor decided for me that I will not be given anything but tordal to break this pain.
I sat in that doctors office in tears being treated like I was a criminal because of this factor. I was refused full treatment by a medical professional because she does not understand addiction; and as soon as she heard about it, everything except the tordal was no longer up for discussion. I even explained to her that dilaudid wasnāt my drug of choice, it never had been and never will be, to which she responded āthat doesnāt make any sense because itās a strongest pain killer out thereā.
THIS IS NOT HOW MY ADDICTION WORKS NOR IS IT HOW MANY OTHERS I HAVE MET ADDICTION WORKS. AND INSTEAD OF FEELING EMPOWERED BY MY SOBRIETY I FELT STRIPPED OF MY PERSONHOOD. It is one of the top most humiliating moments I have ever felt in my life. I felt destroyed inside. Mortified, as well as embarrassed.I have never been closer to a relapse because this event occurred. My desire to hide my sobriety from my drs has never been stronger.
My point here is: for those working in the medical industry listen to your patients. Work with them to come up with a solution for their pain. Help them determine whether or not they are seeking drugs to get high, or because of true pain. Learn about alcoholism and addiction not just from medical books; listen to those who are suffering. Because there is nothing worse than being shut down and not heard, especially when in pain. All it did was drive my desire to go back out and hide it from the world all because I was suffering from something easily treated.
For those facing addicetion: PLEASE REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT YOUR ADDICTION! You are a human being who deserves to be treated with respect and compassion. Your pain isnāt fake, whether it be physical or emotional! NEVER EVER let anyone tell you that, whether it be a doctor, parent of friend! However, understand your motives for seeking out relief making sure itās truly physical pain and not emotional pain youāre trying to hide or cover. Be honest with yourself. Work with your doctor, take your medication as prescribed. Your sobriety is worth your weight in gold; always place it first.
As someone who also suffers from chronic pain due to a car accident I can understand how difficult it is. There are those who will think youāre faking but remember to be true and honest with yourself, brutally so. But do not hold onto the guilt of needing medication (as prescribed) to help you. Remember to find other safe, doctor approved methods as well. Yoga, massage, homeopathic alternatives, a change in diet, meditation, etc, etc. The same goes for those suffering from mental illness, and disabilities.
YOU ARE VAILD, YOUR PAIN IS VALID, YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID, YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND DESERVE TO BE HEARD!! Please never forget that!