Petite 💟 Pixie 💟 Dreams

24, she/her ⚠️Minors DNI⚠️ Block Don’t Report Please 3D Blog, NOT PRO THOUGH

[petitepixiedreams]

⚜️Please Read⚜️

I’m 24. This is my ed sh*t posting account/diary. Writing about my messed up head helps me cope. 🥹 My posts are made for myself.

I definitely do not promote ed’s. They suck. If you are considering recovery/in recovery I totally support that and love that for you. 💕 Please just block, don’t report.

✨~NO MINORS. I WILL BLOCK ANY THAT FOLLOW. ITS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY BABES.~✨

[petitepixiedreams]

Thanksgiving is coming up and the absolutely debîlïtating stress of eäting in front of my family is already messing me up. 😭 Just got out of the psÿch ward yesterday so they’re going to be watching.

My plan is c / s. Imma wear double socks and put the chewed fòød in between the two layers of socks. I’ve done it at meal time at 3d rēhabś in front of staff watching for that…so I’ll be fine at thanksgiving dinner with my family.

Still-I hãte to have them thinking I ate like a normal person.

[petitepixiedreams]

I häte myself so I don’t eät. I don’t deserve sätiation.

I häte myself so I overèat. I don’t deserve the bödy I crave.

I don’t deserve comfort so I pürrgēê.

All 3Ds are valid and you don’t need to be struggling with only réśtrîctīoñ to be valid. It doesn’t mean your the śïckest or the one going through it the most. Your body doesn’t reflect your mental pain because EVERY 3d is different.

[petitepixiedreams]

Not seeing the sc@le go down even tho I’ve followed all my rules sends me into a vicious depres$$ion.

[petitepixiedreams]

Im actually really not doing well tonight.

[petitepixiedreams]

I deserve this suffering.

[petitepixiedreams]

I ha te my body. I ha te my voice. I ha te the way I talk. I ha te my personality. I ha te my hair. I ha te my nose. I ha te my habits. I ha te my laugh. I ha te my face. I ha te my smile.

The only thing I have when I ha te everything about myself is my 3d.

And I hate that too.

[petitepixiedreams]

Why am I never enough?

[petitepixiedreams]

Does anyone else have an obsession with f00d P0 rń? Like pics of f00d you wish you could eat but never would?

I literally spend hours on pinterest looking at f00d pics. 😭😭

[petitepixiedreams]

Wait okay so hear me out. You know how f@t is lost mostly through breath? And you know how when you’re in a consistent ca1 defic!t, you get that like…w3ight loss breath that even brushing your teeth can’t get rid of?

So… is w3ight loss breath what f@t smells like??? Is that the smell of it leaving your body???

((These are my 4am thoughts🤦🏼‍♀️😅))

[petitepixiedreams]

I genuinely don’t understand how people can be carefree about eating and gaining weight.

Like my bf just casually told me he’s gained 10 pounds. Sir how are you not absolutely panicked right now?????

[petitepixiedreams]

🌸Th1ńšpø🌸

[petitepixiedreams]

I eat vicariously through cooking shows and videos.

I don’t de$erve f00d. I don’t need it.

I have plenty of f00d stored on my body, it’s not like I’m actually ⭐️ving.

[petitepixiedreams]

If you haven’t heard of l o s e r t o w n.org I highly recommend you check it out. It shows how fast you’ll l0se w3ïght w/ your c!c0 plan. And it goes all the way down to 0 p0uñds for those of us with super low ugw’s.

I use it every month to pick my GW for the end of the month.

[petitepixiedreams]

I have meänspø in my head all the time, directed at myself. When it comes to other people struggling with the same thing, my thoughts and words are so kind and comforting.

WHY CAN’T I GET THE SWEETSPO TOO😭😭

[petitepixiedreams]

🎙📺Retro Th1ńšpø📺🎙

[petitepixiedreams]

My new medication sucks. It's making me so horribly depre$sed, I can barely focus on anything.

I just want to curl up under my blanket, sip some tea and watch TV. But my 3d is telling me I can't because I haven't gone for my walk yet. And then my depre$sion is telling me that that’s too much. I’m stuck playing ping pong in my head. 😪

The only good thing about feeling this low is that I haven’t eaten in 24hrs.😕