Guys, I found out.
- the first guy in Plato's Allegory of the Cave probably
YOU ARE THE REASON
Claire Keane
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@pettymaryshelley
Guys, I found out.
- the first guy in Plato's Allegory of the Cave probably
i like the sound of mourning doves, cicadas, trains in the distance
| southern appalachian summer |
- strawberries and blackberries soaking in vinegar water in the sink.
- the juiciest watermelon all cut up in a big bowl in the basement fridge.
- watching the swimming hole slowly come into sparkling view through the trees.
- that first rumble of thunder just after 3pm when the clouds sit low over the mountains.
- the pitter patter of rain on the porch roof that's soon followed by a deluge that stops as soon as it starts.
- the subtly sweet simplicity of a drop of honeysuckle you wish wasn't over so soon.
- stealing the ball jars out of the cellar to put sweet tea or coffee in to watch the storms.
- hiking to the same waterfall over and over again because it never seems to get any less beautiful and it's more fun than a treadmill.
- grandma's canned pickles on a hot day. enough said.
- that scent that's somehow sharp and fresh and soft all at once of the green beans you're stringing.
- stepping out onto the porch to feel the morning air, knowing it's gonna be hot and humid in a few hours. right now, though, it's perfect.
- lying on the rocks by the river on a beach towel in a bikini cause there's no beach to get you tan.
- finding the perfect climbing tree.
- 4am Waffle House.
- driving up the mountain and rating all the church signs out of ten.
- wading through the creek looking for rocks and mica.
- meandering your way up the hiking paths looking for the perfect clearing for a tent.
- watching the lightning bugs speak to each other through the trees just after the sun sets
- cheering louder every time a bull loses its rider and then feeling a little bad when the calves get roped.
- putting the ferns out to soak up the rain.
- "i think it might rain today."
- finding a new little diner on the side of the road for some biscuits and gravy.
- everything about it.
brat summer? no. appalachia summer. i'm drinkin coffee out of my mamas canning jars in a hammock on the porch with the thunder rumbling.
God seems like a fairly unreliable narrator
it's so fitting that Achilles' lyre was really Patroclus'. Patroclus was his connection to the softer things like music and love and joy. Without him, Achilles was a war machine. With him, Achilles was a musician, a lover, and a boy.
The music never belonged to Achilles because the lyre never belonged to Achilles. Both were bestowed upon him by his better half.
i am not filled with religious zeal, i am filled with religious suffering.
You want me to introduce myself? The thing that almost killed Odysseus?
some griefs you wear tight around your throat, cloying and choking and always remembering, always honoring, always bearing the weight and lifting your chin anyway. some griefs you drag along behind your chariot like Achilles towing his own breastplate with a body inside of it; you carry it because you know you must; you carry it because it did something to you. still others you drive forward like the horses of that chariot, willing them onward despite their desire to be set on their path. all are asking to be freed and none get their gravestone. the living ask selfish things of the dead. the dead, of course, cannot deny them.
“Everything is change, he said, and everything is connected. Also everything returns, but what returns is not what went away—”
— Louise Glück, from Winter Recipes from the Collective (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2021)
sometimes days are very bad. and sometimes they are good.
and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally
My Secret History Annotations With No Context
pt. 1
1. Mad god complex energy
2. Rather pessimistic of you, narrator.
3. Ask a straight, white man if he could take a bull in a fight. That's hubris.
4. We have a whore for the aesthetic.
5. Feeling called out
6. only child ew xx
7. Romanticism is a necessary distance from reality
8. Ah, more exposition. "How to begin" was a lie.
9. You don't like the decor, Richard.
10. Depression can make reminders of life and others' happiness painful and gutting.
11. Vegan? Easterner? Choices, choices...
12. Nice.
13. Okay, so Richard does NOT have ADHD.
14. We hate Plano in this house
15. Greetings, teacher who will corrupt these students!
16. Cult tactics involve isolation from the outside world
17. I like this guy
18. The ~drama~ of it all
19. My transfer student ass FELT THIS
20. Sexy.
21. Papa smurf? That you?
22. "Now I've thrown him off his rhythm."
23. RED. FLAG.
24. Annoying boy
25. Francis is my patronus
26. Fruity ;)
SCHOOL should always be your second priority. your first priority should always be committing STRANGE behaviors with your FRIENDS
every once in a while, i'll breathe in the air, and it's like i see things a little clearer. i would bathe in that feeling.
tw: derealization/depersonalization
i don't feel like i belong in my own body. i look around and everything feels out of focus and too sharp at the same time. are these my hands? are those my legs? who's touching me? am i touching me? the cloudless sky looks like a badly rendered video game; the foggy dusk drive feels more estranged and comforting than my own home. i'm walking down the stairs to get some water; it's dark; i feel dead. i'm floating around like a spectre; a phantom inside a body of flesh and bone. my skin is crawling; it, too, wishes i wasn't in it. someone asks me a question. "what?" it comes out more like a hum underwater. "have you been listening to me?" no.