“Let me stay tender hearted despite- despite- despite.”
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𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰
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𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐬
animals in love - fluff, slight spice
𝐬𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐡 (retired)
i would do everything if you would hear me - fem!reader, unrequited love, angst
~•*⁀➷ pt. 2 - some part of me must have died when you called me baby - fem!reader, fluff, halloween countdown
monster hunter!billy the kid x fem monster hunter!reader
monster hunt masterlist here!
cw// depictions of labor/mentions of pregnancy - 2.6k
Peace was a new luxury you and Billy had claimed after leaving Lincoln. No more scraping by on what few coins you still had, no more hunting with such little hope of success, no more anguish. You two had moved from the little town in New Mexico up north to Colorado, settling into a cottage on the edge of a cozy town west of the Rio Grande. It wasn't much by any means, but it was still more than enough after what you two had endured for years.
Both of you had decided that saving the prize money you had claimed was the best course of action for setting up your new life, giving Billy time to find a job that would support your family in the long run. You two spent endless days fixing up the creaky floorboards and the broken cabinets. He let you collect whatever you wanted in the markets to make your home even more comforting than it already was. It was full of love; love found in the soft blankets and patterned curtains and the pretty sounds of the wind chimes outside the front door—that Billy insisted you two paint blue. Neither of you felt so empty anymore; you weren't trapped. You were right where you wanted to be.
Time flashed before your eyes in the new calm. So long in the tumultuous flurry of Lincoln County had made the silence almost deafening in the first year away. You two found a rhythm shortly after you relaxed and let the change embrace you. He spent his days working on a ranch, something you knew he truly did enjoy when he finished his first week with an exhausted but ever-so-happy smile on his face. You spent half the week helping out a kind old woman with turning over the boarding house for new guests, something that warmed Billy's heart with the memory of his ma. Even with your days apart, he couldn't be happier to come home every night to you. He swore there was nothing like the feeling of having a home again, manifesting itself in both a place and a person.
There were plenty of nights spent with soft whispers about the future, the things you wanted to do together, the family you wanted to build. He'd fill the cottage with every happy memory he could make to drown out the echo traveling against the current of the Rio Grande to reach you two still, trying to fill you again with the agony you left behind in Lincoln. He would fortify your life here with every protection he could to ensure you two never knew anything but peace again.
~
You were sitting on the small rug by the fireplace, stoking the last of the flames with what wood was left as the door opened, bringing back in the cold wind of the late fall. Billy stood in the doorway, a bundle of firewood in his arms as he held the door open with his foot. He shot a soft smile to you, wind having swept through his hair as you took note of the way his little grey hairs stood out in the last remaining light of the evening. Looking back out to the garden, he repositioned the wood to free one arm, bringing his hand up to his mouth to help his voice reach further out toward the trees beyond.
"C'mon, sweetheart! It's too cold for you to be playing out here late tonight!" Your smile only widened at the giggles you could hear echoing closer to the cottage as Billy waited with the door open.
"Don't jump in that puddle. You'll get your boots all muddy," he gently reminded, stepping another foot into the cottage and holding the door wider as the laughter finally returned at full volume.
"Mama! Mama!" your daughter laughed as she ran over to you, her boots thankfully free of mud as you let her fall into your lap. She was the striking image of Billy, save for the few physical appearances she inherited from you, and her hair was just as unruly as his. You carded your fingers through the curly brown mess atop her head as she rambled on about the bunnies she had seen in the bushes and the last flowers that still remained before the winter fully came in. Morrigan was only three years old, and she was already as much of a handful as the monsters you and Billy used to hunt, but you wouldn't trade one for the other in a millennium.
Her birth had been nothing short of a miracle to survive. Hours of pain like you had never known before, while Billy held you and whispered sweet reassurances.
"I'm right here. It's okay. I know it hurts like I can't possibly imagine. You can cry, my love," he tried to coax you into his arms after you had attempted to "tough it out" the first few hours. But your body was shaking terribly, and you were having trouble breathing, and the midwife gave him a look that caused a pit of dread deep in your chest. You had survived being possessed by a demon; surely you could survive childbirth. Tears streamed silently down your cheeks as he maneuvered to lie behind you, brushing your hair back from the sweat already soaking your skin.
"B-billy, I can't… it hurts so bad. I don't- Billy, I don't want to hurt her." He swore that you were ripping him right in two with your broken words as he positioned you better up against his chest.
"You won't hurt her. It could be a him, too," he spoke gently in your ear, but you shook your head.
"It's a girl. I know it." You had been so firm on it the entire pregnancy, insisting that every tease he gave you about potentially having a boy was completely false. But he could feel the way you got distracted for a moment to correct him, the way your shaking lessened for even a few seconds, and how you took a deeper breath to speak more firmly.
"Well, maybe it's a girl. But really, darling… we've been mauled by werewolves. Surely this hurts about the same." If you weren't actively clutching the meat of his thighs around your hips to get through a contraction, you thought you might have turned around to slap him for that, choking out a laugh through the pain.
"If we ever see a werewolf again, I'll make sure to let it go for your balls as payback for that." He laughed with his full chest at that as he kissed your shoulder.
"I'll hold you to that, baby. I'm sure our daughter would love to hear how her mama let her daddy get brutally attacked," he remarked, bringing his own handkerchief up to wipe the sweat from your brow.
"Oh, she'll hear all about your stupidity that led to me allowing it to happen," you managed to laugh back at him, your nails no longer digging so deeply into his pants as you melted back against him with the waning of the contraction.
"And Daddy had to stop by the shed to grab the ax, and he said he's gonna teach me how to use your daggers-" Your attention was quickly pulled back to the present, eyes snapping down to look at her and meeting her startling blue eyes just like her father's.
"He said what?" Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Billy take a hesitant step back, knowing he was in for it with you. But Morrigan smiled obliviously.
"I get to play with the knives, Mama!" She was so excited, you swore you'd smack Billy upside the head the second he got close, and when you looked at him, you could see the sheepish smile he carried.
"I was gonna start her with the slingshot before the knives to practice her aim," he tried to mumble, but his attempts at saving himself were squandered as his daughter piped up again.
"No, Daddy. You said I get the big girl knives." Billy grimaced at that, seeing the way your glare deepened at him. Morrigan was your own little demon, as far as the term could carry any good meaning for you and Billy, much to her namesake, inciting chaos into both of your lives from the moment she was born. However, you often blamed the chaos of her own father for causing her wild behavior. It wasn't often that you could remember a truly peaceful day in the few years of motherhood you held under your belt… and yet, you highly doubt you'd have it any other way.
"Well, then I guess we should make sure you get the big girl one," you leaned down to whisper the next part to her ear, just loud enough for Billy to overhear, "and we'll use Daddy as target practice, won't we?" That made your little girl burst out laughing.
~
"Mama, I don't want to sleep," Morrigan tried to protest as you got her changed for bed.
"I know, sweetheart, but we've got a big day ahead tomorrow." You did not, in fact, but you had learned the ropes of how to handle a little girl so true to her name after four years of motherhood. The Morrigan was a fitting inspiration for your child's name. The goddess of strife and death had presented you and Billy with grace once you had settled down, and you had wanted to honor her blessing when your daughter was born.
"Is that whining, I hear?" Billy spoke from outside the room, coming down the hall with your nightly cup of tea.
"No! No, Daddy!" she squealed, running from your arms to try to hide under the covers.
"Oh no, I think it was," he laughed, handing you your cup to set down on the table with a kiss to your head before he charged to his daughter's side. She shrieked as he started to tickle her sides, little bouts of laughter sneaking through. You had known Billy would be a good father early on, but the second Morrigan was born, it was like he was finally doing exactly what he should have always been. He had wept holding her for the first time, tears streaming down his face at the little miracle. She's so perfect, he had said then, and she had only gotten more so with age.
"You're misbehaving, huh? Gonna have to get a witch to turn you into a pumpkin!" she could only squeal in response as Billy pestered her with kisses, "Eat you right up! Yum yum yum-" he teased her as he grabbed one of her hands and went to bite her fingers.
"Okay, you two. Let's settle down. It's past both your bedtimes," you murmured as you made your way back to the edge of the bed.
"Daddy's bedtime too?" your daughter whispered, excited to tease her father.
"Oh, absolutely. He's being silly. I'm gonna have to put him to bed after you," you kissed her head as she settled under the covers more, while Billy looked at you two adoringly. His little miracles. Since her first birthday, you and Morrigan had developed a nightly routine; something Billy always watched but could never participate in. Tonight, as she had done for the past two weeks, she asked to go first.
"Mama-" she started, voice quiet and hesitant, as if you could ever say no to her when she got the same big blue eyes that her father had. You didn't have to say anything; you simply gave her a nod and went to lie down next to her, letting her sit up a bit.
"I love you, mama. Forever and ever," she whispered, leaning down to kiss over your heart, over the mark that had stained your skin many years ago. Just as every other night, your eyes watered with the innocence laced in her words. She wouldn't fully understand the weight of the action until she was older, until you and Billy felt she was ready to hear about the true horrors that lurked outside the lines of property her parents had purchased. Until then, you two would keep her safe, body and mind.
"Thank you, sweetheart," you mumbled, sitting up as she lay back down. The midwife had let you hold Morrigan for an hour, swaddled securely in a blanket, before she warned you about the mark on her chest, the mark that matched your own. It hadn't been easy to hear that she shared the same stain on her skin, and it had only sent you further into your postpartum to hear of the consequences that came with it. She may not have been possessed as you had, but by bearing your mark, she would always be more vulnerable to it.
Billy had spent several months seeking out witches who practiced light magic to try to find a way to better protect his daughter. At first, it was small vials of harmless but powerful tinctures. Then, it had been wards on the house and spell jars kept securely in your bag when going into town. Finally, Billy had sat you down to talk. "We can't protect her forever, my love. She needs to have a normal life. She needs to be able to make friends and explore the world around her without a constant fear, without our constant fear," he had reasoned with you at the time, and though you wanted to protest, you knew he was right. All that remained of those witches' magic was a small pendant that she could wear should she choose when she was old enough to understand.
"I love you, Morrigan. Forever and ever," you whispered before leaning down to kiss that same spot on her chest, feeling Billy's hand squeeze your thigh in support. He had watched you blame yourself for so long, and now, he couldn't be prouder to watch you let that blame go. You knew he had struggled with his own blame for just as long, that this part of Morrigan's life hadn't been what he expected, and yet, he welcomed it with open arms. You knew you two wouldn't choose to do it any differently, in fear of changing the outcome you both loved so dearly.
~
Laying in bed with Billy now felt just as sweet as it did years ago in the tiny boarding house room. Your head laid on his chest, fingers tracing soft shapes over the expanse of his bare skin while he hummed some Irish song you knew the tune of well. He had softly sung it to you the night he took you to the church to get married. You didn't waste money on any kind of celebration, just letting him sway with you under the candlelight as he called you his "wife" for the first time. Now you two remained under that same candlelight, soft whispers of "my wife" every night, after putting your little girl to bed.
"Knowing our luck, she'll bring some monster boyfriend home at 16. What's worse? A werewolf or a vampire?" he carded a hand through your hair as you laughed.
"Definitely a vampire. Werewolf is much more likely to be her age. Could you imagine? Hello father. Meet my 1000-year-old vampire boyfriend." Billy physically shook at the idea as if he was trying to wash it off but you only rubbed salt in the wound as you teased, "Which means right now he would be only 988 years old… not bad." Billy couldn't bring himself to respond.
"Which means when she was born he was only nine-" He quickly rolled on top of you to cut you off, pressing his lips to yours as he softly whispered his love to you.
"You're painfully annoying, you know that?" You smiled brightly in reply as he kissed you again before mumbling against your lips, "I love you so much... Forever and ever."
So... I think this is kind of my official "deactivation" announcement
I'm not going to actually deactivate this account for anyone who wants to keep reading anything but I'm going to log out and likely not really come back. I switched over my book blog ( @phantomdialogue if anyone wants to check it out and follow) to another account and so I'll be logged in there and updating that but I've just lost the joy I used to have in this account and it's really unfortunate but true.
I'm going to post one last writing piece which is the pre-written finale to monster hunt. I wish I had finished the series along with the others that I started and never got around to but I am grateful I wrote that finale in advance and have something to show how it would have ended in the long run.
I still love Tom Blyth. No one get me wrong there. I will likely love that man for a LONG time. I am so excited for PWMOV and whatever he does next. It just got harder to maintain a relationship with this blog the further I got into this semester and I know in my heart going forward especially into veterinary school, it would just become a place of stress for me even more so than it did this semester.
I love you all and I truly can't thank you enough for your support over the year and half or so I've been here. I'll be following some moots on my new account and if anyone wants to keep in touch more specifically, I'm more than willing to give my discord out.
cw// angst, mentions of grief/loss of a parent, eldest brother trauma, anxiety, fluffy ending - thank you to the wonderful @milliesfishes for proofing this fic over the last few days you're amazing!!!
There was little you didn’t know about Alex after a year of dating. You were well aware of so many of his small quirks, and you knew how to soothe his anxiety, but even after having been together for quite a while, the one thing he never fully opened up about was his family. He was the oldest of his brothers, and his mother had died years ago; that was where your knowledge started and ended. Anytime he got a text in the tone you know he must have set for his family, he tensed greatly around you. You weren’t sure why he didn’t want you to know, but you also vowed never to push him on it. It was his burden, and you wouldn’t help him carry it unless he gave you permission to do so, even if you desperately wanted to.
Alex spent many nights in your tiny dorm room once you had finally upgraded to a single. The bed was still too small for his long legs, but he insisted that was “nothing that some cuddling couldn’t fix.” He proved that point now as he curled himself around you every morning, holding you with your back to his chest and his head tucked into the back of your shoulder. His legs tangled amongst yours and kept his feet from dangling off the end of the bed. Falling asleep was a challenge you two had found; trying to give him enough space not to touch while he fell asleep usually resulted in you squished against the wall until he reached for you in his sleep, and you finally fell asleep tucked into his chest.
The sun beamed down on the two of you from your cracked window, letting in the cool breeze of the warmer spring mornings that Chicago had been blessed with as May arrived. The spring quarter would be wrapping up at the end of the month, and you both planned to enjoy every morning possible together in the small space; it had begun to feel like your own sanctuary. A sanctuary that popped like a bubble around the both of you as Alex’s phone started to ring. The all-too-familiar ringtone woke Alex from his sleep. He startled up, and you moved to grab the phone for him as he sat up. You recognized the name as much as you recognized the ringtone. David, his youngest brother, was calling.
When he read the name, Alex gave you an apologetic look that you shrugged off as you kissed his forehead and moved to get out of bed. You heard his hushed voice as he answered, the anxiety laced through it overpowering any frustration he had about being woken up. Slipping into the kitchen, you prepared two coffees, and when you came back, Alex was already half-dressed, slipping his legs into his khakis.
“I have to go to Linfield,” he announced, already sounding tired in a way you knew wasn’t from a lack of sleep. The sound of his already-present exhaustion made you want to hold him close, and he took one mug from you with a half-hearted smile and a kiss to your hairline before taking a sip and setting it down. Your anxiety started to claw its way through your chest, taking up all the space in your lungs as you watched Alex close himself off from you again.
“I should be back tomorrow or the day after. I’ll take you out to dinner to make up for leaving so suddenly-”
“I’ll drive you.” You weren’t sure where your voice had come from, but you wouldn’t take the words back even if you could. You vowed not to push him, but you didn’t vow to let him drown when you could offer a hand to hold him above the surface. Alex froze where he was, dropping the shirt he had grabbed on the bed before facing you, chest bare and the morning sun illuminating him from behind.
“Baby, no. I’m not taking you with me,” he tried to argue, “I’m not dragging you into this shit with my family.” You stepped forward, watching Alex contemplate a step back, and took his hands in yours as you tried to plead, “You’re not dragging me. I’ve been waiting to dive headfirst into it if you’d let me. Let me help, Alex. Whatever it is.” There was only hesitance in his eyes, looking at you as if he was worried the baggage he carried would turn you away from him. You laced your fingers through his as you quietly added.
“Let me in. You’re not going to lose me. No matter what it is.” Three little words hung on the tip of your tongue, and no matter how badly you wanted to say them, you weren’t sure if they would help at that moment. You felt his hands tighten around yours as he thought over your words, every muscle in his body contracting and relaxing before he took a deeper breath and finally said, “Okay… but I’m driving. You know I wouldn’t be able to breathe the whole time if you drove.” You smiled as you brought a hand up to cup his jaw and guided his head down to kiss him softly.
“I’ll get dressed and be ready in five,” you mumbled against his lips.
“Take ten. I don’t want you to feel rushed.”
~~~
Alex’s hand rested on your thigh as he drove to Linfield, anxiety drumming through his chest as you traced soothing circles on the back of his hand. You wished you could take every ounce of his unease from him and wrap him in warmth as you could feel him nearly shivering in his seat. It wasn’t until the two of you stopped to fill up on gas that he turned to face you, not having pulled away from the gas pump yet.
“It’s my dad. That’s why David called me. He just… he never adjusted to my mom’s death,” he explained, eyes darting between your own and anywhere else in the car. “I stepped up when he couldn’t do it anymore.” Your heart sank as you took in the meaning of his words. Alex had to be a parent from an age when he should have only been a kid. His brothers counted on him in a way he never should have been asked to show up for them. Now, he was doing that again selflessly.
“They just need my help to get my dad back on his feet. I don’t know what I’m walking into, and I don’t want you to think less of me-”
“Alex Nilsen, I could never think less of you for something like this." You brushed his curls back from his forehead as your voice softened. “I only think higher of you for it, honestly.” He tried to hide how his cheeks flushed, but you caught it immediately. Your thumb brushed over his reddened cheeks as you cupped his face and directed his eyes to yours.
“Look at me. Whatever you’re walking into, I’m walking into it with you. Do you want me there- or maybe I could get your brothers out of the house? I could take them for dinner and a movie.” Alex sighed, the tension leaving his shoulders just slightly as he nodded and quietly responded, “That would be great. I think they could use it. I’ll pay you back for everything.” But you shook your head in response, “You absolutely will not. You’ll treat me to dinner when we get back to campus. That’s all I need.” You could see that light you loved in Alex’s eyes come back at your reassurance. He just needed someone who would go to bat for him in ways his family hadn’t before; you were more than willing to do that.
Even though you had managed to alleviate some of his stress at the gas station, you swore you could feel it come circling back around him the second the sign for Linfield came into view. His hand slowly tightened on your thigh until you pulled it off and laced your fingers through his, bringing his knuckles up to your lips with a whispered, “I’m here.” He waited for a red light to look over to you, and you could see that he wanted to say something, but instead, he gave you a half-hearted smile before fixing his eyes back on the road.
His fingers flexed around your own as he pulled into the driveway before reclaiming his hand to put the car in park. He stayed looking forward as he sat in the driver’s seat for a moment, letting out a long sigh before you unbuckled your seatbelt and moved in your seat to fix his hair.
“Do you want me to go in with you? Or wait out here for you to send your brothers out?” He let you continue to fuss over his hair, placing each curl back in place carefully for some sense of normalcy despite being back in the place he often dreaded returning. He waited another minute, relishing the feeling of your hands on him, before he turned his head to look at you.
“Wait out here? I just… I want to make it presentable, at least, maybe. I don’t know what it looks like in there.” You could tell he was in his head again, worrying this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, the camel being your relationship. But you simply moved to press a kiss to his cheek, and he melted into your touch.
“Text me if you need me back earlier or you need us to stay out later, okay?” Those three little words came rushing back to the tip of your tongue, as they always did lately, but you swallowed them down to try not to add any more stress into his bones, especially if he wasn’t ready to say them back. He smiled as best he could as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before getting out of the car, and you hopped over the center console to sit in the driver’s seat.
~~~
Though you hadn’t met his brothers before, that was a small detail he often shared with pride about his life in Linfield. Bryce, Cameron, and David truly were something he held dear in his heart, and as you watched the teenage boys sit around you in a booth at a local diner, you understood why. They spent the whole dinner praising Alex and sharing details about the man you’d grown to love that you had only previously hoped to one day hear.
“He used to make us peanut butter sandwiches for lunch all the time. It was easy to do when he had to try to wrangle us all up to go to school.” You smiled at how David talked about him, a love for his brother in his eyes that you understood too well.
“He makes me peanut butter sandwiches when I’m sick,” you added before sipping your drink. You understood why Alex was fond of this place, even if it sometimes brought back chilling memories. It felt homey; you could understand why people settled down here. Bryce laughed as he set down his food to speak, but you were distracted by the buzzing of your phone–a text from Alex.
Whenever you want to bring them home, I’m just cleaning. You picked up bits and pieces of what the boys were discussing as you typed back.
How are you doing? How’s your dad? Three bubbles popped up in response before disappearing promptly. Even through the phone, you swore you could feel Alex’s hesitance; you wished you had some way to reassure him without a shadow of doubt that he can’t scare you away.
It’s going to be okay. We can leave tonight, I think. You couldn’t hide your frown at his insistence to “protect” you from something that he didn’t need to. David nudged your side to get you to look back up at the boys all concerned around you.
“Is he okay?” Cameron asked, all three of them knowing who you were texting.
“He’s okay. I think he just feels bad about leaving you guys. He loves you all so much. He’s got a different ring and text tone for you three,” you tried to explain, hoping to alleviate their stress, but Bryce simply frowned as he spoke. “We try not to bug him. We told him to go to Chicago when he got the offer. Normally, we can handle Dad still, or David can jump in as his favorite.” David tried to interject a protest, but Bryce kept talking, “I feel like we’re still taking advantage of him. It felt like we did as kids, at least.” You reached a hand across the table to squeeze Bryce’s hand reassuringly.
“He loves you. He hasn’t told me much about his childhood, but he has told me about you guys. He talks about you with so much pride that I swear I feel it when he does.” The three boys all managed the same half-hearted smiles you were used to from Alex in this state. “Let’s finish up here and get you guys home to him, yeah? He’ll be happy to see you all.” You tried to cheer them up, but you could feel the melancholy the whole drive home until they walked in the door and made a beeline for Alex. You took the chance of Alex being distracted by his brothers’ loving rough housing to take in the sight of everything in front of you. Clothes were strewn about the living room, and takeout containers covered the kitchen's counters while tupperware filled the sink. On any other occasion, you’d scoff about the mess of boys, but you knew it was more than that here. This was a family that never fully learned how to heal from their loss.
“You gonna stay the night? You could kick our ass at horse in the morning instead of going on a run.” Bryce asked as Alex looked to you.
“We’ll be here in the morning. I look forward to watching these supposed basketball skills of his. We’ll be here as long as we can help,” you answered for Alex. He couldn’t ask you to stay, but you could tell him you would over and over again. Alex visibly relaxed at your words as he nudged his brothers away from him and told them to head to bed. You smiled at the collective groans as the boys went down the hall and yelled out goodnights to you, while Alex came up to wrap his arms around you, taking a deep breath from his spot nestled in your hair.
“I have the guest bedroom all set up. You don’t have to help me finish all this,” he mumbled as he pressed a kiss behind your ear, but you shook your head. “I want to help. Where are the trash bags? I’ll deal with the kitchen while you get this into the laundry.” You motioned to the pile of clothes on the couch as you stepped away from him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before walking into the kitchen.
~~~
Moonlight seeped through the kitchen window when you heard a sniffle behind you. Your head snapped over to the living room where Alex was working to wipe down all the furniture, and you could see the glimmer of tears brimming his eyes. Taking quiet steps up to him, you took the rag from his hand and set it on the coffee table before guiding him to sit on the now clean couch. He just looked at you with what you swore may have been the saddest eyes, holding back his tears and his hands trembling in your hold.
“‘s okay. I’m here. Just let it out,” you tried encouraging him as you brushed his hair back. One moment passed, then another, and then the dam broke. His tears fell, clearly against his will, and you brought a hand behind his head to let him bury his head into your chest. Shaking hands gripped your shirt below where he hid his face as if he was terrified you’d disappear; you were still sure that was a real fear of his. You rubbed his back as sobs racked his body, forcing him to melt into you and find comfort in that moment.
“I shouldn’t have left,” he choked out after a few minutes, voice muffled by the fabric of your shirt. “They told me to go, and I listened, but they need me still.” Your heart broke at the sound of his every worry. He didn’t want to leave them, but you knew he wanted to live simultaneously. You let him drag himself down to rest his head on your thighs, holding onto you still, a silent plea not to leave him.
“They told you to go,” you shushed his hiccuped sobs. “They wouldn’t have encouraged you to do it if they truly needed you all the time. When was the last time they asked you to come back?” He didn’t look up at you as he replied, “This is the first. But I just… Baby, they shouldn’t have to do this.” You ran your hand through his hair soothingly as you tried to think through how to word your thoughts about it all.
“And neither should you, Alex. You’ve been gone nearly two years already. They’ve got it. They just got overwhelmed this time. The whole time we were at dinner, they all just talked about how wonderful you are. They hate thinking they’re taking advantage of you after everything you’ve already done for them.” You wiped his tears as they started to slow, one hand staying in his ear as his grip lessened, growing more sure you would stay. It took him a moment to force himself to sit back up, wanting to look you in the eyes when he quietly confessed.
“I love you. Maybe this isn’t the place to say that for the first time, cleaning up my family’s mess, but I… I don’t want you to think otherwise. I love you.” You wipe his last tear as a nearly painfully wide smile graced your features.
“I love you, Alex. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” He smiled back, no more half-hearted smile, but the big beautiful smile you were used to from him. “This isn’t a mess. If you want to see a mess, you’ve got to come to my parent’s house when my mom decorates for Christmas. It becomes a wreck then. This is nothing,” you joked, and it got a small chuckle out of him as he moved to cup your cheek, pulling your lips to his own. You both smelled of Windex and dust, but you swore you’d never had a better kiss than this. You wrapped your arms around his neck and let him pull you closer, smiling against his lips as you started to lose the air in your lungs, though you didn’t need it if you gave it to him.
“Can we finish cleaning in the morning? I just want to go to bed with you. Bryce took over my room, so we’ll have to take the guest bed,” he asked breathlessly. He rested his forehead against yours, pressing a small kiss to your nose when you nodded. His hands ran through your hair as you pulled back to look at him.
“I love you,” you whispered again, having wanted to say it for so long and finally getting the chance. He smiled brighter as he whispered it back, picking you up in his arms to carry you to bed, trying not to laugh too loud when you squealed, shushing you so you wouldn’t wake up his brothers. He had grabbed some old clothes of his for you two to change into before pulling you under the covers with him. He had a partner to go to bat for him now. You wouldn’t let him feel alone in dealing with this kind of thing ever again. He squished himself close behind you, his chest flush to your back, and even though it was a full-sized bed in the guest room, he still cuddled up to you as if it were the tiny bed in your dorm.
apocalypse!billy the kid x bitten!reader
concept
cw// allusion to death - ~400 - something short to get back into writing
He could remember it clear as day.
The days before the outbreak. Being a kid alongside his favorite girl in the world. The days you teamed up with Joe to endlessly prank him. The nights you slipped through his bedroom window to read side by side, head resting on his shoulder. He remembered the girl who lived across the street through it all. But what he wanted to remember most was the sun on your skin, lying in the grass, picking out the shapes of clouds above. You would hesitantly lace your fingers between his, an unrelenting bond, hands lying interlocked between your two bodies as you pointed up to the sky.
There were no clouds today.
But it was perfect all the same, in the field by what was once the street you two first met. Houses that stood proudly in your previous life had now fallen to despair, nature reclaiming the structures with what everyone had coined "the end of the world." Yet, as you looked over at him, hands locked tight together once again after so long, his eyes still matched the bright blue front door you remembered standing across the street from.
"Are you scared?" he whispered, heart heavy in his chest.
"Not with you here." You were telling the truth. It had taken him far too long to accept your fate, that you wouldn't survive long by his side. Your mind had started to go in the last weeks, staring off until he managed to bring your attention back to him in front of you, and your body was slowly following. Part of him imagined the transition- transformation- "turning"- whatever the new world wanted to call it- would be swift. He now had proof it was anything but.
It hadn't taken him long to find something suitable, a small plant that would be far more merciful than the fate handed to you. You sat with him as he brewed a tea, strong enough to make it quick but still so little to make it painless. When he had grabbed two tins, you knew he would follow you into whatever great dark was ahead. You couldn't fight him on it. Not when you knew you were all he had left.
"Are you scared?" you asked back.
"I'll be right here with you the whole time. I couldn't possibly be scared of that," he squeezed your hand with a soft smile, reassuring as your eyes grew heavy, "C'mere, darling." He pulled you to him, letting your head move to rest on his chest. If he was honest, of all the ways to die, this didn't seem too bad. Holding his favorite girl in the whole world, knowing that he wasn't leaving you behind. That he was following you into the dark, hand in hand.
Oh also in hundreds of years when the world “resets”, new archeologists will find their skeletons holding each other and talk about what love must have been like during the outbreak
apocalypse!billy the kid x bitten!reader
concept
cw// allusion to death - ~400 - something short to get back into writing
He could remember it clear as day.
The days before the outbreak. Being a kid alongside his favorite girl in the world. The days you teamed up with Joe to endlessly prank him. The nights you slipped through his bedroom window to read side by side, head resting on his shoulder. He remembered the girl who lived across the street through it all. But what he wanted to remember most was the sun on your skin, lying in the grass, picking out the shapes of clouds above. You would hesitantly lace your fingers between his, an unrelenting bond, hands lying interlocked between your two bodies as you pointed up to the sky.
There were no clouds today.
But it was perfect all the same, in the field by what was once the street you two first met. Houses that stood proudly in your previous life had now fallen to despair, nature reclaiming the structures with what everyone had coined "the end of the world." Yet, as you looked over at him, hands locked tight together once again after so long, his eyes still matched the bright blue front door you remembered standing across the street from.
"Are you scared?" he whispered, heart heavy in his chest.
"Not with you here." You were telling the truth. It had taken him far too long to accept your fate, that you wouldn't survive long by his side. Your mind had started to go in the last weeks, staring off until he managed to bring your attention back to him in front of you, and your body was slowly following. Part of him imagined the transition- transformation- "turning"- whatever the new world wanted to call it- would be swift. He now had proof it was anything but.
It hadn't taken him long to find something suitable, a small plant that would be far more merciful than the fate handed to you. You sat with him as he brewed a tea, strong enough to make it quick but still so little to make it painless. When he had grabbed two tins, you knew he would follow you into whatever great dark was ahead. You couldn't fight him on it. Not when you knew you were all he had left.
"Are you scared?" you asked back.
"I'll be right here with you the whole time. I couldn't possibly be scared of that," he squeezed your hand with a soft smile, reassuring as your eyes grew heavy, "C'mere, darling." He pulled you to him, letting your head move to rest on his chest. If he was honest, of all the ways to die, this didn't seem too bad. Holding his favorite girl in the whole world, knowing that he wasn't leaving you behind. That he was following you into the dark, hand in hand.
know that i would gladly be, the icarus to your certainty
zombie apocalypse au
- a concept i know i'll likely never get around to writing but love deeply
billy, alone since the outbreak started, who runs into his childhood love after 10 years apart... but she's already been bitten. they both know there is no cure, let alone anyone near who could give it to her before the disease takes over her body. yet, he can't help sticking around to help her enjoy the last days she has. holding her on the nights where shivers wrack her body and nightmares start to slip in about losing her autonomy to the nasty virus finding purchase in her bloodstream. grounding her in the startling moments where her mind slips away from the present. there's a part of him that wonders if things would be different if he had found her sooner and there's a part of him that wonders if continuing on after she's gone is even worth it.
I went to the big Barnes and Noble 45 minutes away from me to do some shopping with my birthday reward! Also took myself out to lunch which was nice :) My book of the month box came in today too coincidentally so I got a total of 4 books today!! The haul below haha
My roommate (the frat boy) also got me legos so I had fun building those for like 2-3 hours and that was wonderful. Overall it’s been a great day haha
fem reader x billy the kid
thank you @spideyhexx for proofing!! <3
large text version here!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING @phantomamour!!!!!!!!!! Phantom you mean so much to me and you've been such a beautiful friend to me <3 I love you and I hope today is the best day ever <3 you deserve the whole entire world. You're creative, kind, smart, and such a beautiful soul <3 I love you so much and I hope you like this <3
The second Billy stepped inside, the tension of the day melted away. Even the knowledge of you being in a room made it warm. He found himself smiling as he hung his hat on the hook, slipped his boots off. When he'd begun living with you, that was one of the first things to change; no muddy footprints, and therefore no shoes. With the nature of work he did, it was rare that the bottoms of his feet weren't dirty.
"Sweetheart?" he called, thumping into the kitchen. You were humming, standing at the stove and stirring something. Looking up, your face lit up, and you dropped your spoon, sprinting to Billy and throwing your arms around his neck.
"Hi, baby!" You pulled back to kiss him on both cheeks, and he stole one, pressing his mouth to yours. Smiling, you melted into his arms, fingers inching up to scratch his head. "How was work?"
"Long. Missed you." He clasped his arms around your waist. "What've you been doin'?" His nights had looked like this ever since he married you, and he loved each and every one.
"Nothing." You reached up, thumbing his forehead and running your finger over his cheek. "You've got so many freckles now."
"Yeah." He was amused by how fixated you were on them, connecting the dots and following the path with your eyes.
"Can we lay down?" you asked softly, meeting his eyes again. "Please?"
He softened. "Sure." He carried you back to the bedroom, setting you down on the bed and lying next to you. "Feelin' okay?"
"Just wanna-" You climbed on top of hips, pushing his suspenders from his shoulders and unbuttoning his shirt. He helped you remove it, watching as you smiled excitedly and rubbed your palms over his shoulders. "You've got freckles here too!"
"Yeah," he chuckled, holding your waist as you studied his skin. "Been workin' in the sun all summer, honey."
Leaning down, you pressed kisses all along his shoulders, giggling when he reached in to catch your lips. "Billy!"
"Forgive me if I wanna kiss my girl," he teased, rolling you over and nuzzling his nose into yours. "Spent too long not kissin' you."
Fish leapt onto the bed, sitting beside your head and giving Billy a displeased look. He stopped kissing you and frowned. "Honey, he's interruptin'."
"Shh, just look at me," you soothed, taking his face into your hands. "I'm sure he'll go join Willow in the kitchen soon."
"He's always there when I wanna be alone with you," he grumbled, but when you rubbed his cheeks, some of the irritation disappeared. "Havin' the cats around is nice, though."
"I like it. It makes the house feel less empty when you're away," you said absently.
He rolled onto his side, slipping an arm around your waist and bringing you into his chest. Being married to you was a wonder, a joy, and he knew you felt the same. Still though, marrying him had taken you away from the warm home you'd known all your life with your mother and sisters. The closeness you shared was unlike anything he'd ever seen.
"It's so quiet sometimes," you whispered, and he knew you were thinking about them. "I miss it."
"I know." It broke his heart to think about. "I wish I could bring them all to you."
"They have their life," you sighed, snuggling into his chest. "I have mine. It's silly. I'll see them soon and then I'll be longing for it to be just the two of us."
He kissed the top of your head. "You're sweeter 'n cherry pie, y'know that?"
"You're a sweetheart, Billy Bonney." You reached up to hold his hand. "More than you know."
"'M a rotten outlaw, baby," he laughed, pressing your head to his chest. "I love you."
"I love you," you said softly. "I love you so much that I'm already smiling every time I wake up."
"You're my whole heart." He watched you close your eyes, fingers closing around a portion of your shirt. You pressed your cheek to his chest. Billy smoothed a hand over your hair, pulling the blanket up over your back.
There was a safety in this, in being here with you. The past may beat at his door, but he could curl around you and block the sound. He knew there were hardly any lengths he wouldn't go to protect you.
"The soup," you muttered sleepily.
"I've got it. Just rest." He shifted you so you could lay your head on his pillow. "Be right back."
"Mm." You burrowed into the blanket and sighed softly, angelic.
It was something Billy was still working on with you- letting him help. The eldest daughter of a family without a father, you'd developed a kind of mindset that the well-being of your family was solely your responsibility. He'd always wanted to take care of you, show you that you didn't have to shoulder it all on your own.
He sighed when he felt your arms slip around his waist as he stirred the soup. "You're supposed to be resting."
"Don't like being without you," you mumbled, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. "Especially when you're just in the next room."
It was a quiet night, save for the chirping of the crickets outside, and the soft song you were humming into his back. He put the spoon down so the soup could simmer, recognizing the tune. Billy's hand found yours, lifting it into his chest, his other clasping at your waist as he swayed you back and forth.
"I love this song," you breathed. "Especially when you sing it."
"Ma used to sing it to me 'n Joe. 'Specially when it was stormin' out." Billy pressed his cheek into your head.
"I love it." You looked up at him with soft eyes. He could hear what you didn't say. I love you.
The day started as it always did, the way he loved. You were snuggled in his arms, pressing a sleepy kiss to his cheek before he got up. He left you with another kiss, this time on your forehead, and whispered, "Love you." Oftentimes, you would get up with him and start your day, but he was pleased to see that this time you chose to rest.
His employer let him off early, and he rode home with a smile, excited to surprise you and spend a little extra time with you. As he approached the house, he decided he'd cut some chicken for Willow, maybe Fish too if he was still in a good mood.
Whistling, Billy trotted up the stairs, opening the door with a loud "Honey? Where's my girl?"
He was met with silence. That wasn't like you. Billy poked his head into the kitchen, but it was empty. Scratching his neck, he wondered if you'd gone back to sleep after chores this morning. It was unusual, but maybe all those times he'd told you that you needed more rest had paid off.
The door was ajar. Billy's chest tightened, and he swallowed thickly. Everything was okay. You were okay. He looked at his boots, noticing a dark stain on the floor. A crimson stain.
Throwing the door open, Billy gasped your name and his stomach dropped. The bed was a mess, blood all over the sheets, the blanket thrown onto the floor. Fish and Willow were pacing, and the second they noticed Billy, they made for him, meowing urgently. He knelt, trying to soothe Willow, and Fish sunk his teeth into his knee.
"Ouch! Fish, knock it off," he snapped, stroking Willow's cheek. The black cat gave him a look, and Billy huffed. "I know. I know."
It was obvious to him that someone had taken you. Someone who wanted him to come where they were. He stood, stepping forward to study the wreckage. There was a piece of paper folded in half in the middle of the bed.
Snatching it up, Billy's eyes darted over the crude handwriting. Old shepherd's hut. No guns.
He felt like he'd been punched. No guns? What was it exactly that they wanted from him? To take his girl and hurt her and then demand he come unarmed was a slap in the face. He knew in some parts there was still a bounty over his head, but it was more of something forgotten. They'd long accepted they wouldn't catch him and that he hadn't committed any crime for a long while. The remaining rewards were more of a placeholder for outrage.
Billy stuffed the note into his pocket and seized the sheets, tearing them off the bed. He'd scrub at them later, after you came home. Tossing them into the corner, he brushed his hands off, looking at the cats. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna go get her, alright? Just hold down the fort while I'm gone."
Willow blinked at him slowly, and that was good enough for Billy.
Rushing out the door, he saddled his horse and leapt on her back, steering her towards the hut. It was an old hideout for anyone on the run, and apparently now, a hostage location.
His cheeks were burning with the cool of the wind, but all he could think of was you. How badly had they wounded you before taking you away? What had they done with you in their custody? They must have come soon after Billy had left in the morning? Had you gotten the chance to get out of bed? See your daisies? Pet the cats, even?
He should have stayed longer instead of running off to work. Even five minutes could have saved you. Billy's eyes stung as he swung his leg off his horse's back, remembering to leave his gun belt behind. He stalked up the front walk, begging silently to anybody who was listening to keep you safe.
Pounding on the door, Billy stepped back, his expression stony. It swung open in a matter of seconds with a loud creak, and he was met with a greasy looking man who regarded him with a firm look. "Kid?"
"That's me." Billy folded his arms, clenching his jaw. "Where is she?"
The man silently stepped aside, letting Billy come in. He bolted through, whipping around and calling your name. It was dark, so he could only make out shapes, but there was someone huddled in the corner whereas everyone else was standing.
He fell to his knees, reaching for you. "Baby…baby, I'm here. I've got you." You let out a little cry, and he lifted you to lean against him, your legs over his knees. "Shh, I know. I know."
"Billy," you breathed, sniffling into his shirt. "T-the cats."
"They're alright, sweetie." Billy smoothed your hair, cradling your head. "It's alright."
"Kid." When one of the men spoke, Billy looked up, irritated. The man who answered the door was in front of him, tapping his foot. "The deal's we'll let your girl go if you come with us."
"No…no…" You tugged at one of his suspenders and he looked back down. "Don't, Billy. Please."
"You're gonna be okay," he promised again. He cradled you into him, kissing your head before looking up at the men. "Can I bring her home first?"
"You've gotta horse, ain'tcha? She can ride home." Every time the man spoke, the deep anger inside of Billy grew, and he clung to you tighter.
"She's hurt."
"We'll make it worse if you don't leave it."
Exhaling through his nose, Billy looked back at you. Even in the dim light of the room, he could make out your tears, your shaking. He flattened his lips together and squeezed your arm, hoping you would trust him.
"Fine," he agreed, and you struggled in his hold. Billy ran his hand up and down your chest, trying to soothe you. "Let me help her up, at least."
When no protest was made, he stood, lifting you with him. You were unsteady on your feet, and so he helped you lean on a nearby table laden with bottles. "It's alright, sweetheart. I've got you."
Billy squeezed your wrist, trying to help you understand. The three men's eyes were on you both- he could feel it. You reached out, clinging to his shirt. "Don't…Billy, don't."
He let go of you, surging forward and knocking one of the men in the jaw and sending him sprawling onto the ground. You screamed his name as one of the others tackled him, but he was able to kick him aside, knuckles going bloody as he hit the man over and other again. When the last man took you by the arms and started pulling you back, Billy leapt up and pushed him away, sending him flying with a single punch to the nose.
You were crying, your arms wrapped around yourself. Billy shook off his hand and reached for you, relieved when you let him bring you into his arms. "Shh, shh, I know. 'M sorry, sweetheart."
"They…they…" You buried your face in his chest. "Mmph."
Billy tipped your chin up, trying to look into your eyes. The room was too dark, but he could make out a sort of fogginess in your expression. "Baby?"
"Mm?"
"C'mere, let's get some air. Let's go outside." Billy helped you out the door, shielding your eyes when you squinted. He stood in front of you, casting a shadow over your body and tilting your head up toward him. "Sweetie, let me see…"
He frowned, knocking his hat up so he could see better. Your eyes were glazed over, expression vacant. "Baby?"
"Wan' go home, Billy," you mumbled. "Miss cats."
"Yeah, the cats are worried," he agreed, still studying you. "Honey, did they give you anything while you were in there?"
"I dunno." You sniffled, looking down at his hand and taking it in both of yours. "Can't 'member."
"Sweetie," he whispered, pushing your face into his chest. "Think they gave you somethin'."
"You're so pretty, Billy," you mumbled, standing on tiptoes and trying to kiss his cheek. He cradled your head, trying to keep you still.
"Baby, how about we sit down for a minute, yeah?" He helped you over to a tree by his horse, lowering you down to the space between his legs. "That's alright. Yeah, there you go."
"The cats," you said, pouting a little.
He smoothed your hair. "I know, baby. I know. Just gotta wait a little longer for you to get more steady."
"I'm plenty steady," you argued, but he leaned back, pulling you with him.
"Just lay with me, baby. You're alright." Billy plucked his hat off and dropped it over your head, letting it fall over your eyes. You giggled, and he used the distraction to look over your dress. Bloody in some places, but dry. When he rubbed you over your midsection, he asked, "Does that hurt?"
You picked up his hand, tracing your fingers over the lines of his palm. "No. Was hurt a little when we got here but they fixed it."
"Don't trust their fixin'." Billy breathed in and out through his nose and leaned his head against the bark of the tree. It was a bright, lazy day, and there was a cool breeze cooling the skin of his neck. The men in the house might be coming to any second, but he was near his gun now, not afraid.
When you tugged on his collar again, asking to see the cats, he finally lifted you up and put you on the saddle of his horse.
He cleaned you up with his own hands, using the sponge carefully. You softened with his touch, and whatever they'd put in your system wore away with time. Billy wrapped you up in one of his shirts when you were scrubbed clean and sober. The bed had no sheets, but he spread a blanket over it, sitting up so he could act as your pillow. Fish and Willow spread themselves out at your feet, purring loudly.
"'M sorry, baby," he whispered, steadying his hand over your heart. "You just relax, now."
"You came for me," you muttered. "In less 'n a few hours."
"Shoulda been there when they tried t' take you." Billy pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "'M sorry, sweet girl."
"Don't be," you breathed, turning and kissing the skin over his collarbone. "Billy, you rescued me." Frowning, you took one of his hands, lightly thumbing his bruised knuckles. "You got hurt."
"Ain't nothin'." He pressed his cheek into your head, trying not to imagine what they would have done to you. "You're home. You make it home."
"Wouldn't be home without you either." When you burrowed into him, the stress, the tension of the day seemed to disappear. He had you safe and here, and it was all that could ever matter.
"My own girl." He snuggled you close, and Fish meowed. Billy gave him a look. "My girl. Knew her before you, Fish."
"Between you two, I don't know how I'll ever leave the house again," you giggled. Rubbing over his chest, you whispered, "Fish near bit off one of the men's legs."
"'S that why the sheets were all bloody?" he wondered, smoothing over your tummy again.
"Yeah." Smiling, you tapped each finger on his chest. "He was trying to protect me. Just like you would've done."
Billy chuckled, pressing a couple of kisses to the top of your head. "I'll give him that. He wants to protect you from everything, even me."
Settling into the space in his arms, you laid your head over his heart, as cozy and content as could be. This was the meager good he could give you, his whole heart in your pretty hands. You were the silver lining of his dark cloud, a miracle like his mother always talked about.
He'd fight harder and longer than he had today for you. When the sun set that night, it bathed you in an orange glow, your angelic nature shining through. The ordeal of the day didn't change how perfect a night could be when he was with you.
romaincrisis
baratheonpilled
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prguitarman
andulkaphoto
areudirty
dededos
