"Before Your Very Eyes" - A Letter to Myself
And... I guess whatever other sad sack finds this.
Never. Stop. Creating. Never stop making things. Whatever you can do, or whatever you've wanted to learn, take as much time as you need to put that potential of yours into action. Do you draw?? Draw your heart out. Do you write?? Tell a story and scream it out loud. Do you sculpt?? Slap whatever you can together. Do you compose?? Make a melody that'll dance across the Earth. Do you do some other thing I'm probably forgetting?? Do that... Whatever it is, it's probably really impressive.
I know what you're thinking, and I know what I'm thinking too (Which is arguably less impressive than the former, but I digress):
"I'm not as good as this other person".
"They can do X better than me."
"I wish I could do this as well as Y could."
And to that I say... you're probably right in some aspect. This person can do things that you can't. But in turn... you can do things this person could never dream of doing. Maybe they have aspects of their abilities that are more developed than you. More knowledgable than you. It doesn't mean you'll never reach that point yourself. Hell, if THEY can do it, anyone can!... But, this isn't about bashing on the object of your envy.
This is about you. Whoever the fuck you are. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's someone who's reading this, whatever. This is about you and what you can do. And you can do amazing things. You can do THIS! [Magically pulls out a file from your device that you made] Wow, that looks impressive! I wish I could do something like that! But I couldn't. Well- I might be able to make something similar... but I'll never be you. It'll never have your charm. It'll never have your intentions. It will never have your considerations. It will never have the part of you that makes the original special.
But even then, that's okay. People take inspiration all the time. Nothing is truly original. No matter how unique it may seem on the surface, there were probably layers and layers and layers of artistic inspiration that lead to this really impressive piece being made. Don't you lie to me BITCH, I KNOW you've looked at possible references and inspirational images before making a piece.
Sorry, was calling you a "bitch" too far? Maybe it was. But nothing I could say will ever be as nasty as how awful you can be to yourself. And don't try to play dumb. You've spread some terrible and utterly slanderous stuff about your worth and your abilities for no real reason. Well... maybe there is a reason somewhere. But it's not a reason I give a shit about, and you shouldn't either. I know it may sound cheesy, but god dammit people wouldn't say it over and over again if it wasn't true.
You need to love yourself! And I'm not gonna hit you with the "because you deserve it 🥺", even though you do... unless you... kick puppies or something I dunno. I dunno who's reading this. Probably no one, but that's fine. But regardless- YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF TO LIVE!! Loving and caring for yourself will drive you to live life correctly. Maybe not flawlessly, but in a way in which you'd be happy! If you're not loving yourself, you're hurting yourself in one way or another.
And... that lack of love can grow. It can grow into hatred. And that hatred can spread to people you don't mean to show it to. People you don't know. People you do. People you love.
I'll level with you. I've hurt quite a few close people in letting my hatred grow. Hurt them more than a best friend should ever be allowed to inflict. I don't want to lose them. I don't wanna lose anyone. But if you keep hating yourself, you will. You'll be alone, in the dark, with no one to love you. Because you couldn't love yourself. It all starts with you.
But... it's not east. I know it isn't. I can't pretend like I know the answer. And you sure don't either... I don't even know if there is one. But god dammit, whoever you are out there. Whatever your name is. Whatever you can do... I love you. And I believe in you. But you shouldn't need me telling you that to fix your life. Whatever you put out there... it's pretty unlikely a million people will see it. Probably not even a thousand. Maybe a hundred. But regardless... it doesn't matter who sees it. It doesn't matter how many will see it.
Everything you've ever wanted, everything you're ever gonna make, it will grow. And it will happen before your very eyes.
gummygunk
stormborns
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto