La Vie Boheme.

laters baby

[cooourtniiix333-deactivated2011]

If you love your Dad reblog this. If not he dies in 13 days.

[yoonimoo]

don’t you fucking dare mess with my daddy.

[philosophistic]

zaynkillers:

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[philosophistic]

why can’t I get a single guy that I’m interested in to even remotely like me back in any form

[meanthoughtscheapshots]

survival.

[philosophistic]

would have been 3 years with you

I can’t imagine what we could’ve accomplished in 3 years. But it’s so selfish of me to think about, because I can’t even imagine how miserable you would’ve been if you spent 3 years with me. Less than 9 months was already more than you could handle. Less than 9 months it took me to fall in love with you and still love you just the same. 2 years you’ve been without me. I hope you are so happy. I hope you feel so much love from the people you actually want in your life.

[philosophistic]

miss everything about you every single day. I hope all is well.

[philosophistic]

Weirdly remembering an Instagram picture you posted of us once with the caption “my best bud”... I miss those days so so much. I had a very vivid dream about you the other night, that you wanted to get back together with me. Hard to wake up from. I hope you are happy and well.

[cooourtniiix333-deactivated2011]

If you love your Dad reblog this. If not he dies in 13 days.

[yoonimoo]

don’t you fucking dare mess with my daddy.

[philosophistic]

zaynkillers:

<

blockquote>

[philosophistic]

today is your birthday.

I wish I could tell you happy birthday. I wish I could spend the day with you. I wish I could’ve gotten you extravagant birthday gifts and spoiled you, because you deserve it, and done whatever you wanted to do. I will always regret that I never got to spend your birthday with you because we ended too soon. But all of those wishes are selfish.

I know that the best gift I can give you, and only thing you would want from me, is to leave you alone. Like I have for the last 2 years. I will leave you be and let you celebrate with the people you actually want in your life.

I hope you have an incredible day filled with everything you want. I hope everyone in your life makes it very special for you. You deserve nothing but the best, always.

My eyes are a little wetter and my heart is a little sadder today. But I hope you are thriving. I hope your smile is bigger and your laugh is louder than they’ve ever been. Today is not about me missing you. Today is just about wishing the best for you.

[philosophistic]

you did not ever love me. you didn’t even remotely like me. I get it— I don’t love or like me either.

[philosophistic]

I can feel the depression tightening its grip around my neck. I don’t want it to get this strong again but I can feel it happening and I don’t know how to stop it. I need to see a therapist again but I don’t have the money. I need a pill to help me but I can’t afford the weight gain side effects. I need something in my life to help me but I don’t know what that could be or how exactly I need to be helped. This time the depression death grip is coming from inside of myself instead of brought on by outside circumstances. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.

[philosophistic]

I’ve always wanted to go to a fraternity formal, and this is my last ever chance to, and all my friends are going and finding each other dates or getting asked except me. They don’t even try to include me. Only pretty girls get to go to formals and I get that, I just wish I could be included. But it’s clear to me why I’m not and it’s my own fault for looking the way I do.

[philosophistic]

remind me more about how he's never gonna be with me again as if I haven't known that for almost two years.

[philosophistic]

I hate myself so much it's unreal

[philosophistic]

I let myself smell your cologne at target and I just want to cry. But I don't want to run away from it. I want to keep smelling it because walking away from it feels like walking away from you. It smells exactly like you. I almost completely forgot it but now it's instantly back in my head again. No other cologne smells like this. I can't pull away because it is the closest thing I have to any part of you. I miss you more than I ever thought possible. I'm at the point where I just want to hear your voice and know you're okay. It's been long enough that I'm coming closer and closer to forgetting those details about you, which should be happy and exciting because I want to be free of you, but I love you too much to totally let you go. I am letting you live your life free of me while I am still trapped in this purgatory of loving you so much and not being able to even have contact with you. Contacting you would break me and I know that, just like smelling your cologne did. But I just fucking miss you so much. Please be happy and living your best life to make my pain worth it.

[philosophistic]

my heart aches for you every single day. please please come back.

[philosophistic]

I'm so disgusting.

I'm practically obese. I'm hideous. I'm untouchable and unloveable. Lately I have been hyper aware of how gross I am. Gross on the outside, not too great on the inside either. Definitely not good enough on the inside to make up for how much I lack in looks. Nobody could ever love something like me.

[philosophistic]

there's a part on a specific sidewalk where I distinctly remember us walking when we were going to our first formal. you opened my door and as we walked away from the car you told I looked very pretty. I don't know why, but every time I see this sidewalk, I'm transported back to that moment and I just get so sad. It's like I can still see you walking there in your dress clothes looking and making me feel incredible. I miss you every single day.