Finally, I’m openly talking about this. Recently, quite a few of my conversations were about PKs. Those who are one just like me will know what PK means. On Facebook, people post about PK. At retreat even the guest pastor is a PK. Also at dinner, people discuss about PK.
Honestly, sometimes, I feel that there is nothing to feel happy about being a PK. Not that I'm not happy or proud to be one. However, there's more stress, more unwanted attention, and you can't go MIA from anyone's radar no matter how hard you try. Just like being celebrity (just using it as a comparison), everything that you do, people seem to amplify your actions, purpose or intentions(or they think they know the purpose or intentions), they things that you say, and ESPECIALLY your mistakes, many folds. When you make a mistake, people view it as though you have committed a crime, and when you did some thing well, no one bothers to even bat an eyelash. There's always higher expectations and people judge you faster than you know.
Being a PK, people know about you (and they act and judge you like they know you), but you don't and won't know half of the people that do. People hear about you, be it good or bad, and they judge you before they've even gotten a chance to breathe a word to you. And what sucks the most? People think you are supposed to be the most holy person around, and when you don't live up to their expectations, they judge you harder. You might think that, oh this Phuisee ah PK still talk like that on facebook. Sure or not. Why PK like that one. But hey, let me tell you something, I'm still human, just like you! That's why sometimes, I don't like to BROADCAST to the whole world that I'm a PK or my bro's a PK. When people introduce me to someone else as a PK instead of Phuisee, I really don't like the feeling. I would entertain, and then slowly find my way out of the conversation. I want to be who I am, and not under the shadow of a PK, my own identity.
I'm not saying being a PK is bad, but it's not all that good and glorious either. We are Christians, but we are human. We are PKs, and we are still human. So what is the difference being a normal average Christian, and a PK? Absolutely nothing. Ugly truth la hah. P or PK or PW or not, everyone is the same. We make mistakes, we create office politics(yes, even in church), we have a hard time forgiving people, we sin. But you and I, we are still saved by the blood of Jesus. And to me, that's all that matters.