it's so hard to love you.
i almost died last year, i felt so much pain that i wanted to give in and take that tempting slumber. But after that call with my mom, sister, and my girlfriend that time, i decided to fight. And now my life sucks.
After that horrible month of oxygen tanks, lung pain, and desperation, i decided to cut off "friends"' because i felt used and unimportant. It was nice, like a huge load taken off.
Then my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, grade 3. Can't even afford the things i want and now we have this to face after my almost 2million php expense when i had covid. With my salary i had to find another job to help us out, it was only my big sister and me, my dad wasn't able to get back to grab after the pandemic. So i took a freelance job, i was a graphic artist at day an a oneman animation team at night. I had no time to figure things out, i need the money for mama.
It was embarrasing to ask money from family, friends, friends of friends, and people i don't even know. But we managed to pay for mom's chemotheraphy and other medical bills. Now, mom's better. i see her fighting, but i see her pain too. i feel like shit, i wish it was me. She didn't deserve that.
Last saturday, my band recorded out first single. It was very fucking surreal. I'll skip the band part for now. Anyway, everything in the band situation is doing well, we're hyped, happy, excited. But when i'm home alone, in a 2 bedroom huge ass condo unit. It feels fucking tiring, depressing, i feel alone. No one to share my tears and excitement, my achievements, my happiness, my random thoughts, my rants, and all those little things. i'm dying, not for real this time, but i am, my heart is. i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be happy, sad, depressed,
idk. It's hard to love you 2022
prguitarman
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
