Pinkie Pie Reads Problem Sleuth

Hi out there everypony! My name is Pinkie Pie and after seeing how much fun my friends were having on tumblr reading comics, I remembered I had a blog like that too! Only.... I kinda forgot the password. And the email address. So I had to make a new one which is this!

[shyreadsmoon]

I'm sorry, I've just been given a card telling me that was the wrong question. What I was supposed to ask is... "That age old question, what would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos?" ...Who wrote this?

I would suspect Pinkie did.

Pinkie, you are not allowed to give flamingos yoyos. Without supervision.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Awww, why not? That one seems to really wanna try it!

[shyreadsmoon]

Strangulation risk, among other things. If you want, we can try it sometime later this week when I get back to Ponyville.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Okay.... Where’d you go again?

[shyreadsmoon]

I'm sorry, I've just been given a card telling me that was the wrong question. What I was supposed to ask is... "That age old question, what would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos?" ...Who wrote this?

I would suspect Pinkie did.

Pinkie, you are not allowed to give flamingos yoyos. Without supervision.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Awww, why not? That one seems to really wanna try it!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Be careful, Business Princess Pinkie; an alternate universe version of yourself is planning to steal your hair to cover up a gigantic bald spot, possibly after a professional cellist tars and feathers her as punishment for forging documents. Just think of how negatively this will affect your stock options!

Not to worry. My mane is insured.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Spreadsheets are serious business. As are parties.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. Failure is going splat.

George Patton

This is a very serious quote by someone who was probably a very serious man.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

As you can see, I am very serious about this new direction. I doodled my face in this notebook and didn’t even draw it smiling!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Hello, yes, I am just posting here to inform you all that I am no longer going to be the Princess of Laughter. From now on, I am the princess of boring business stuff. That is all.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Pinkie: Hahahahah! Okay, that wasn't what I was expecting, but it was still silly!

Rarity: Well. I suppose we already knew he was a bit of a lout, but now we can officially add unimaginative to that.

Pinkie: Anyway, that's all we have time for! We'll do more of this next week!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Pinkie: Impending silliness! Come on!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Pinkie: Candy corn! And impending silliness! Yay!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Rarity: Well now, I'm slightly confused about the view from the window.

Pinkie: They're portal windows, remember? Rarity: Yes, but... Isn't that Problem Sleuth's corpse...?

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Pinkie: Anyway, when we left off, this guy had just opened his safe by shooting the lock!

Rarity: And now he's breaking his own window.

Pinkie: He's going to run out of stuff to break at this rate!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Have you noticed that changeling version of your sister yet?

Rarity: I'm sorry? I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

how can i turn off the ponies that bounce across the screen, it's really distracting.

Pinkie: I dunno! But I think they're fun!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

HELP! I tried to make a party cannon, but it's stuck on rapid fire! My friends and I haven't slept in eight nights because it keeps starting parties!

Pinkie: Did you try sticking your hoof down the muzzle?

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, PINKIE

Pinkie: We went to Sequin Land! It was super fun!

Rarity: Yes, we did. For those who may be unaware, Sequin Land is a small nation on the coast of the Marediterranean Sea, quite close to Saddle Arabia. Originally, we only intended to stay a short while so that I could conduct some business with a number of merchants who primarily base themselves there, but...

Pinkie: Then the Sultana requested that Rarity make a dress for her so we had to stay until that was finished. And then once that was done we found a treasure map and went on an adventure! I got a whole bunch of stuff! A real pirate pistol and cutlass, some magic boots, a second cannon, and the BIGGEST MOST AMAZING PIRATE HAT! Also a lot of gems!

Rarity: Which was fortunate, because gems seem to be the standard currency in Sequin land, and there were just -so- many fascinating things to buy in the various markets.

Pinkie: Yup! And we also fought pirates and got chased by zombies, and battled a super scary ghost!

Rarity: The zombies were actually surprisingly nice once we got them some coffee.

Pinkie: Anyway, that's the story of how we disappeared for almost half a year!

[pinkiepiereadsproblemsleuth]

Dragons In the old days, they didn’t know very much about the world. But they made maps anyway. If they had to map something they couldn’t, they just drew whatever they felt like and wrote, “Here there be dragons.” Someone found this site by asking google whether dragons are real. If you tried to map the world today, you could detail every inch of the world’s surface. Satellites could show you every forest and every bush, every mountain and every field. They could show you your house and mine. There are no empty spaces left. We don’t know very much about the world; and there are things to map of it besides its surface. Can broken things be remade? Can destinies change? Is it worth the risk of hope? Important questions, but one can only shrug, you see. Here, there be dragons.

Jenna Moran, Hitherby Dragons

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Pinkie: Oh! I remember a bunch of my friends getting one of these! Mine seems less silly than theirs were for some reason...