Forced Feminization Fantasy
Stage I: Humiliation & Submission
The female Dominatrix (or Domme) is truly the crucial element of any genuine forced feminization fantasy. It should be noted specifically that the sissy is not inherently gay, and that becoming a woman in character is not based on any desire whatsoever to be with a man sexually. Though later references to gay or faggot or princess may indeed be utilized quite effectively in humiliation play, the submissive male here is not actually attracted to the male gender. Quite the opposite. The male seeking sissification is indeed so enraptured with the female figure that he not only wants to be with one, but as far as is humanly possible wants to become one, even if only temporarily.
The notion of becoming female is one of spiritual, if not truly physical, transformation. The Dominatrix assumes the role of guide, nurturer, big sister and protective mother all in one. The responsibility is to allow the sissy a space and a time in which to become his inner woman, and to help develop that feminine aspect as far as he is willing to take it. Having a woman take control of that process serves two extremely important and absolutely fundamental needs.
Firstly, it ensures the sissy that he is not gay. It may seem a counter intuitive point in reference to someone who may have a burning desire to suck cock, but it is a very real consideration of which to be aware. Much of the shame that hinders a sissy in coming to terms with his desires is in the manifestation of those fantasies. Being gay, or even bisexual, and wanting to be a woman are two entirely different notions. The Domme provides the grounding that separates those two and allows the fantasy to progress in as natural a fashion as possible because the sissy is sharing his experience with a woman as opposed to a man. Regardless of how many real cocks may be brought in to satisfy his cravings, his relationship with the Dominatrix supersedes any additional partners, making the entirety of the fantasy heterosexual in conceptual terms. His attraction to the female, including his own eventual self-identity, is what sustains his arousal throughout any sexual acts, even during same sex pairings.
The second need flows organically from the first. Without control, there is no responsibility. Doing whatever he does for Her rather than for himself allows a necessary separation of self-esteem from the burden of shame. Forced humiliation may indeed be part and parcel of the eventual game, but relinquishing control over the course and flow of events into the hands of his female counterpart permits the surrendering male to exercise a denial of identity in order to maintain a positive self-worth upon returning to his everyday masculine role. Surrendering this control to a woman, and only to a woman, gives the whole experience the essential foundation of heterosexual experimentation as opposed to homosexual gratification.
The fact that submission must be voluntary is an irrefutable condition of any BDSM role-play. In light of this concept it should be understood that the Dominatrix earns her right of control in the same motion that the submissive grants her that responsibility. In its best and purest manifestation, this exchange of power is hoped to be one of mental, spiritual and even metaphysical transference. To be truly and deeply enriching, the giving of one's self over to another must be fully embraced by both parties on every level of consciousness. It is a shared experience after all, and one that deserves all that can possibly be given to it. Anything less is just game playing. In shorter terms, the D/s couple will only truly get out of it what they truly put into it.
That being said, it should be understood that any rewarding relationship begins in the mind, rather than the body. True Dominance is an altogether psychological experience. Ensuring that he gives up control willingly and even eagerly is an intentional process. Win over his thoughts and all else will follow.
One of the simplest and most effective tools for both mental and physiological conditioning is the collar. This of course may be no great surprise to anyone with even modest experience in the lifestyle, but it is nonetheless worth mentioning. The collar should not be understood as a method for control, but rather it may be viewed as a means for release. Placing a collar on someone grants them an opportunity—permission if you will—to free themselves from responsibility, to liberate their hidden fantasies from the shackles of inhibition. In this understanding a collar can become the very real difference between reluctance and acceptance.
The look, feel and functionality of any given collar, too, may make a genuine world of difference. A thick choker of black leather may indeed be good to put a submissive man in his place, to remind him he is slave to the woman he serves; but it may only do just that, and at times that may be all that is needed. Consider for a moment then how the same man might feel if forced to wear a slender collar of white with rhinestones, or perhaps a soft collar of pastel pink lace. If you are trying to play to the rampant feminine urges of the sissy, then do not hesitate to make him endure all the trappings that might come with the role. Remember, the more humble and girlish he is made to feel, the easier it is for him to give up control.
Ultimately it is the moment of surrender that is desired, however it is achieved. Head-space is the most important aspect of the game, especially when your partner is seeking to transform into something beyond himself. To be a woman he must be made to truly feel like a woman, and must be allowed to extend his consciousness into a safe and non-threatening area of the mind where his thoughts transcend the physical limitations of his real physiological self. There is no set amount of time this may take and depends solely on the individuals involved. The relationship, like any other, will develop along its own course, but the Dominant must be mindful of the progression as much as possible. So drift slowly into and through each phase as comfort permits. Feel the resistance; expose the willingness.
Once surrender is reached, you will know it, then all else can begin. Use the first initiatory stages to tease and explore the surface of his desires. Get used to his triggers, the things that excite and entice him. Thrill his mind and senses with future possibilities and watch his reactions. Learn all you can. The objective of this early stage is to move him forward gently, exposing his desires, his weaknesses. Lure him forward until he can no longer conceal what he really wants, the embarrassing fantasies he fears to have known. Temptation alone should be your greatest tool, tantalizing his mind with glimpses of what could be.
The notion is one of the slippery slope, standing at the top of the slide both ready and afraid to go down. The mixture of excitement and trepidation, anxiety as well as anticipation, is enough to provide the momentum. At some point he knows he will have gone too far to stop, that the eventual culmination of his darkest fantasies will be made real, but he will step forward in tiny increments always believing he still has a chance to turn back. The lure of the fantasy will draw him in unavoidably. All the Dominatrix must do is guide him along until he learns too late that he has no escape.
Use each step as both a tease as well as a coercion. Since you have already done A, why not try B. Its not like I am asking you to commit to C (not yet anyway). If you can get him to do one little step, cross one more tiny threshold, then you have been successful. You already know what he wants. The trick is to get him there without him realizing. And naturally as you proceed you can use his previous steps to impress your point. Frequent reminders of his emasculation can help hold the door open for his emerging femininity, especially if he obviously enjoyed the experience.
When he is finally done playing pretend and teasing around with girlie fantasies, he will be ready if not eager to explore more. If the Dominatrix has been successful and patient, he may indeed trust her enough to move on. Submitting to her Dominance and letting go of his masculine pride are essential factors from this point on. He must now do what he is told, trusting in his new Mistress to guide him in ways that he has been previously unable to master on his own. It should ideally become a genuine power exchange: he giving up control and she assuming responsibility for his inevitable transformation.
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