Satanic Panic!

Britnee // 25 // Satanist // Haunt SFX & Actor Punk. Goth. Halloween. Horror. Cinema. Spiderwebs. Bats. Lolita. Pin up. Atomic Age. Witchcraft. Pizza. Fallout. The OC. NWI. ^v^

[lordbelacqua]

THE LOVE WITCH (2016) | dir. Anna Biller

[bk-poetry]

cat dot exe by mizunoyojimbo

[warchived-deactivated20230329]

CARRIE (1976) dir. Brian De Palma | HEREDITARY (2018) dir. Ari Aster

[acecroft]

I’m a friend of the family. THE GUEST (2014) dir. Adam Wingard

[yellow-maiden]

[kogaionon]

Trick ‘r Treat by Chris Garofalo / Twitter / Tumblr / Instagram / Store

24" x 9" 3 color screen print with metallic ink on French Paper Co. Brown Box Kraft Tone stock, S/N limited edition. Available HERE.

[brokehorrorfan]

Ghostface swoops in on Adam Juresko’s alternative artwork for Scream. Giclee prints are available in 8x12 ($17), 12x18 ($25), 16x24 ($40), and 24x36 ($50).

[ephemera-phile-deactivated20210]

From cover of Good Old Days magazine, Oct. 1967 issue

[samaraweaving]

Never say “who’s there?” Don’t you watch scary movies? It’s a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something.

Scream (1996) dir. Wes Craven

[pinupghoul]

Atomic Dolls Photography

[pinupghoul]

Today is the day I got my leg back!! I got the go ahead to walk so I have a lil brace and I’m using a crutch for now but I can walk!!!

[pinupghoul]

One last update unless something crazy happens

I get my splint off in 4 FUCKING DAYS. And it can’t possibly come soon enough. I slept like shit last night, tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable to no avail. When I woke up, my calf muscle near my knee was incredibly sore. I grabbed an ice pack and it didn’t do shit. Took a Tylenol since it’s all I have now then my bf fucked me into a subdued state from which I literally haven’t moved until just now. I finally was comfortable thanks to him and didn’t wanna ruin it. My leg doesn’t hurt anymore at all except for my muscle pain which is pretty awful if I’m being honest. About a 4-5/10 but it’s never ending. Flies aren’t as bad as a wasp but when they don’t go away..... you get the idea. Today is beautifully overcast 🌫 so I’ll be celebrating by editing photos and watching spooky movies

Also. This break has given me a serious Postmates/Grubhub addiction.

[pinupghoul]

WOW

I don’t know what the fuck I did in my sleep but my ankle HURTS right now jesuuusssssss 😭😭😭😭

[pinupghoul]

Day 7: Wednesday

I just wanna stretch out my leg!!!! The muscle pain is the worst of all pains today. Do I know any acupuncturists who do house calls? 🤕 I can honestly feel myself making it over the hump in terms of pain though. Smooth sailing so soon. 🤞🏻 Being in a boot will be a freedom that I can’t even fathom yet. All the massages. I’m so blessed that the burning nerve pain has been about a 3-5 at worst this time around. I’m not sure I could go through that again.

[pinupghoul]

Day 6: Tuesday

It’s been 6 days since surgery and 9?? Since the actual break. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep so I stayed on the couch and watched tv. At one point I got up and when I went back down I had my knee of my bad leg on the hard edge of the couch and put weight on a weird part of it and it made me incredibly sore. I took a pain pill around 1am which helped me fall asleep but did nothing for the pain I caused tweaking my leg like that. I wanted to go to the gym today if Travis went but he went to Costco, without me, because I was so sore. My knee hurts and the muscles in my upper calf are the worst I’d say. So I stayed in bed and slept. Slept while he was gone and slept while he got ready for work. I just want this pain to subside enough for me to be able to get around as normally as possible. Even with one leg I can be more productive as long as I’m not in pain. It’s not unlike a toothache. Maybe about 4-7 out of 10 on the pain scale at any given moment but it never goes away and it being so constant is what makes it so terrible. I’m also scared of what my scar is going to look like. I get my stitches out in 7 days and in a walking boot!

[pinupghoul]

Weird personal post just for my own memory sake

So I broke my ankle for the second time in two years last Saturday during a roller derby clinic my team was hosting and I want to write out how it’s been so I could remember it in detail. Hurting yourself like this is something that people don’t really explain when you ask what it’s like. Maybe people forget which is why I want to write it all out.

When I broke I was going in for a hit. I was the pivot and wanted to get a girl I know is a hard hitter out of my jammers way. She hit me back (I’m convinced illegally since she was facing non derby direction) and somehow instead of just falling backwards I fell back but heard three snaps. I immediately knew I broke my ankle. I hit the ground and said “Carrie you just broke my ankle” no tears or anything. Refs and everyone took a knee and they splinted me up and I stood with someone’s crutches and was driven to the hospital. I wasn’t there very long and had x rays taken on my ankle and my knee. I had a break up on my fibula where I said it hurt the most and a break lower on the “knuckle” parts of my tib and fib. The doctor didn’t have to set anything so he put me in a splint and I went back to the clinic to score keep for the last game. The pain level was manageable to say the least. I didn’t take any pain meds the day of, the next day or the day after. I saw an ortho and he said I would need surgery to make sure my ankle is actually on right. They put a new splint on me and that was that. Still no medication. I had surgery on Thursday August 29th and right before that the pain was mostly in my upper calf, like a leg cramp kind of pain. I just wanted to stretch my leg and my toes out so badly. The worst part of course pre surgery is feeling the bones shift when you move around. 🤮 I was up most nights because of the pain and not being able to get comfortable but obviously I managed. The day of the surgery I went in around 10:30am and got my paperwork taken care of and was put into a room where I laid in a comfy hospital bed (my favorite) and the nurses sterilized me and set up my IV. I took my time in there to relax because I hadn’t been able to sleep much before this. Eventually I was wheeled into pre op and met my anesthesiologist. Real nice dude who walked me through my nerve block and everything. I’d never had one before and it was definitely interesting. They took an ultrasound machine to my leg and a needle as long as my forearm almost to get deep in my actual nerve. It didn’t hurt much except for one point it felt like someone torched my foot for half a second. It hurt bad but for only an instant. By then the drugs in my iv are kicking in and I’m feeling amazing. They take me into the operating room and there are tons of people in there. They were all so nice and happy and I got myself onto the table and they positioned my arms in a good spot and one of them put an oxygen mask on me and said “this is just oxygen” to which I replied “JUST oxygen?” And I breathed once, but it was hard to breathe deep, then I breathed in one more time normally... and then breathed in a third time deep........and then woke up in recovery. At this point I actually don’t really remember waking up in the recovery room. I don’t remember going from recovery to my last room. I do remember opening my eyes and someone asking if I can open both of my eyes lol when I got to the last room I remember being in, my friend Hanah came to get me and I had some jello which was the best jello I’d ever had and some water. I talked to her till I was coherent enough to get dressed and leave then we went and got some Thai food. I appreciate her so much. Because of my nerve block I actually couldn’t feel my leg for the rest of Thursday and all of Friday. So during this time I tried to do as much around the house and moving around as I could. However my leg was pins and needles-y kind of numb. Aaaanddd I was paralyzed. Literally. I couldn’t move my toes or foot AT ALL, which is terrifying. Finally by Friday night I could move my feet. The pain had begun because the pins and needles were getting worse and regular feeling was coming back.

Saturday Travis and I laid in bed and slept off and on until about 4pm. Sleep, wake up, have sex, fall asleep. Rinse lather repeat. Finally we actually got up and sort of cleaned the house a teeny bit then went to his friends house. Actually his fried Aaron’s parents lake house. We got there around 8pm and just sat out on the patio looking out on the lake. Real talk, it was so fucking nice. Throughout this time I’m regularly taking my medication because of the soreness I feel in my leg. It’s sore and I can sometimes feel the actual pain of the incisions. It hurts bad enough that I’m looking forward till the next time I can take sometime about two hours before I can take it again. The feeling of my leg being on fucking FIRE when I stand up started sooner and wasn’t as bad as the first time I broke my ankle. Thank god. A lot of it is just trying to get comfortable and not put too much pressure on any one sensitive spot.

Yesterday (Sunday) we went back to Aaron’s house around 1 or so and had food. I was pretty fucked up on medication but not totally out of it, just really really tired. We sat outside on the porch again and eventually went out on their pontoon boat and went around the lake for about an hour and a half. I’m so happy and thankful that Aaron and his family were incredibly helpful with me only having one leg to get on and off a boat with. It’s sort of embarrassing needing grown men to lift you in order to do anything. Also, I guess I should note that this time around I have been using almost exclusively a knee scooter. I think it’s been helping me in a lot of ways. Bending my leg more, wanting to be more mobile, etc. yesterday is also when I started supplementing my medication with cbd oil. It’s a 500mg tincture and honestly I don’t think it’s doing a damn thing for me. The pain is still very rough to get through without my regular Norcos.

Now today, Monday, Labor Day. Travis is off so we’ve been sleeping sexing sleeping again and slept off and on until around 1pm today. I have also discovered that my vibrator is like a little tens unit and makes the pain in my leg almost nonexistent when I use it! I’ve been taking collagen supplements and comfrey as well. Once again all I want to eat are burgers!! Big juicy cheeseburgers. And everything I’ve eaten has been the most delicious thing I’ve eaten which makes it even better. Food hasn’t hit this hard in ages.

Today the pain is more of a moderate to almost severe “discomfort”. If I said pain, I’d say mild to moderate. Manageable with one pill only. The swelling in my leg has gone down immensely. I can tell in how my splint is fitting me. I’m excited to see how I feel tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow I’d really like to go to the gym with Travis and do some upper body stuff or abs or whatever I can really. I just want to stay active and in shape where I can.

[pinupghoul]

My familiar <3