Life, the universe

and everything.

[urfavoriteaquarius-deactivated2]

[trapcard]

scream @ “female presenting nipples”

[ororomunroedontpullout]

Gender nonconforming nipples can stay but your on thin fucking ice

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

[ifeelfinedotexe]

[slowheart]

is it SOUL-EXPANDING? is it going to leave me better than it found me? is it gay? if not i am not interested

[ulibeanzz]

me when it’s time to wash the dishes

[everythingfox]

me in the kitchen at 1 am

[sav3th3b33s]

[meanwhilepoetry]

[lorn0graphy]

[thegoodvybe]

[lorn0graphy]

[firedrill]

someone: i love you

me internally: prove it prove it prove it prove it prove it prove it

also me internally: please dont love me i dont want to hurt you this is terrifying please dont love me

yet also me internally: good, everyone should love me. get on your fucking knees and worship the fucking ground i walk on.

somehow also me internally: THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME!!!!!

me externally: aww i love you too!!

[raptorific]

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

[orestian-deactivated20180120]

none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty

[fandomsonceandforever]

Someone make a movie please.

[raptorific]

Just send me 25% of the funding up front and the rest when I deliver the completed movie. I’ve got a kickstarter and

[spankyhole]

They were sniped halfway through that sentence

[aroseforno-one-deactivated20221]

sorry i forgot to reply i dont feel fucking alive

[bitchycode]

‪What part of “i don’t wanna spend anymore money” don’t I understand

[scarjodropdead-deactivated20220]

Someone: Wow you’re so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Me: thanks i made this one special just for you

[thankyu]

a clownboy (half clown, half cowboy) says yeehonk

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

this is it. the worst post i’ve ever seen. my own two eyes are cursed

[the-transfeminine-mystique]

throwback to my ladies 500 years ago who knew how to fuckin party