a vow of: the strait-laced, an uptight oaf, the SHARP-MINDED, life and limbs, a pillar of leadership, preserving order, putting others above oneself, figuring out the truth before anyone else, a boy whose cries were lost to the soughing of the wind.
affiliates. @leadersguilt, @dcive
other blogs: @teufelme (bertolt), @kampfen (multi), @oneheer (levi)
“He wanted to add something to it, maybe. To make his own mark on the story. He hasn’t realised how much he wanted to until faced with the reality that he cannot.”
i need to actually write this out properly (will be in my mp marco meta when i finally do it) ... but i just want to reiterate how much i love marco's personality shift in his mp verse. the confrontation between him and rba happens in this verse but upon surviving, marco isn't going to turn around and be like 'oh that's fine'. i try and make it a little more realistic. i think a lot of people mistake him for being happier and smilier than he actually is (it's just how fanon marco works). i appreciate people wanting to make him the understanding and forgiving type as he does initially ask to talk things through but it's also sort of 'grasping at straws', anything to get them to change their minds you know? after they refuse his offer to talk it through and decide to leave him for dead instead, it's ... crushing, honestly. he looked up to reiner in particular (and cared about annie and bertolt as friends) but finding out their true identities, the betrayal ... having them try and off him and refusing to talk it over after they were friends that long ... it hurts (and yes, what happened is eventually is discussed between him and reiner in this verse and it's emotional and difficult).
and on top of that, when he gets into the military police, the one good thing he had left ... everything he'd looked up to and dreamt about his whole life ... everything falls short. then in uprising arc when he finds out the king is a fake, the king he’d spent his whole life dreaming of serving and willingly laying his life down for ... you can see why he abandons that idealistic like mindset over the next year haha. i'm really going to enjoy writing it up in more detail.
bold is for what applies often. italics is for what applies sometimes/in specific circumstances.
tagged by. @leadersguilt (love you sweet!)
tagging. @galliiard and all your others. :)
eyes. avoids eye contact when nervous, maintains eye contact, avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent, enjoys eye contact as a means to read and convey emotion, looks down when emotional, looks up when emotional, cries openly, wipes tears quickly, suppresses tears, wandering gaze when lost in thought, holds gaze while thinking, seeks out eye contact for reassurance, seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations, eyes move constantly during conversation, expressive eyes, emotions only evident through eyes, uses eye contact to intimidate, looks up while thinking, looks down while thinking.
hands. clasps behind back, rests in lap, fidgets with clothes, twiddles thumbs, chews at nails, pushes back cuticles, draws patterns on table/counter surfaces, animated gestures while speaking, only gestures to emphasize, utilizes sign language, speaks only through sign, callouses, scars, smooth, wrinkled, worn, soft, delicate, boney, slender, thick, veiny, touches others while speaking, reaches out while laughing, reaches out to comfort others, reaches out to seek comfort, places face in hands when exasperated, places face in hands when exhausted, places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed, rests chin in hands, taps fingers when impatient, taps fingers when nervous, taps fingers while thinking, scratches scalp, strokes chin, rubs back of head, toys with objects around them, runs fingers over surfaces while walking by
mouth. chews lip, chews at inside of cheek, licks lips, bites tongue, chews on straws, resting frown (mp marco big time), resting smile, neutral resting expression, resting pout, grinds teeth, flexes jaw, covers mouth when laughing, covers mouth when shocked, covers mouth when concerned, hands to lips while thinking, covers mouth when chewing, chews with mouth closed, chews with mouth open, smirks, grins, subtle smiles, wide smiles, sad smiles, intimidating smiles, menacing grins, openly smiles, tries to suppress smiles, bares teeth when angry, lips quiver when emotional, stutters, speaks quickly, speaks slowly, good pronunciation, poor pronunciation, moderate pronunciation, purses lips, sucks in lips, holds mouth open when shocked or confused.
legs. bounces leg when 'nervous', draws knees to chest when sitting, draws knees to chest as a means of comfort, sits on knees, sits with legs criss crossed, sits with legs spread open in chairs, crosses legs when sitting in chairs, sits with one leg folded under the other, places feet on furniture, never places feet on furniture, sits on counters, sits on desks, sits on tables, sits on edge of seat, sits hunched over with forearms on knees, arches one knee up, sits on the arm of chairs/couches, feet on dashboard, swings legs back and forth when sitting somewhere elevated, wiggles toes when nervous, wiggles toes as a general tick, shuffles feet, kicks foot into ground, stomps feet, loud footsteps, quiet footsteps, silent footsteps.
hair. runs fingers through hair, tugs at hair, picks at scalp, chews on hair, twists locks of hair while thinking or nervous, smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous, prefers hair out of face, prefers long hair (wears it a bit longer as an mp), prefers short hair (as a cadet and as a scout), wears hair back, keeps hair down, smooths back hair, plays with other’s hair while talking, plays with own hair while talking, strokes hair to 'comfort' others (would if you were close), likes having hair stroked for their own comfort (mp marco probably), braids others’ hair while talking, braids own hair while talking, flips hair out of face, pushes hair out of face, leaves hair alone even when falling into face (mp verse).
@freisin — “well, i guess that’s broken.” / connie!
❝ let me see that. ❞ careful fingers take piece from his friend, brows pinched down, focused / engrossed. his attention to detail had always been somewhat frightful, especially where odm was concerned. A SWIFT SILENCE, passing as though it hadn't been there at all. lips part, eyes darting over metal, eyes widened in his victory. ❝ i see the problem. the fans are stuck, that’s all. don’t worry. we’ll get your gear back in shape. ❞
❝ hey, connie. you should join armin and i the next time we’re on maintenance. learning your gear inside and out might just save your life one day. ❞
What doesn't kill you very often makes you weaker. What doesn't kill you can leave you limping for the rest of your days. What doesn't kill you can make you scared to leave your house, or even your bedroom, and have you trembling, or mumbling incoherently, or leaning with your head on a window pane, wishing you could return to the time before the thing that didn't kill you.
@freisin — steals the last bit of bread from his plate. if ya snooze ya lose ! :*/ sasha
❝ hey—! ❞ marco’s patience is momentarily knocked off beat as he turns to square up to the thief, voice wielding protest against the thin air of the mess hall. his usual sunny countenance is nagged into a look of confusion, dark brows leant together. his gaze soon finds itself resting upon the familiar face of a friend, and while his expression softens ever so slightly at the sight of her, his tone does not forgo irritation. ❝ er — i wasn’t gonna eat that anyway. thanks for asking. ❞ golden browns are then sequestered beneath fragile lids, a BOTHERED YET CONCERNED breath slipping from his lips. one day sasha is going to piss off the wrong person (though he’s going to do his best to discourage such an event).
❝ sasha, you’re going to get in a lot of trouble one of these days, you know? ❞
❝ it’s a homemade recipe from back in jinae, actually. from my mother’s side. she taught me how to brew it. ❞ careful fingers grasp the mug tight / CRADLING / guarding it almost. it’s a regular drink to some, sure, but to him — a warm cup of home. he holds it out to his brother-in-arms, a steady concern pulling at sun-clad features.
❝ it's not every day i make someone else a mug. sorry if it’s a little bitter. i just wanted to do something nice for you, reiner. you've done so much for me. ❞ / @dcive
@leadersguilt — holds him. just holds him. the world may feel like its breaking on marco’s shoulders but he’s here to share the burden, if only for tonight.
the fragile skin below marco’s eyes appears discoloured, puffy; covered by a thin veil of tears that pry their way out from burning tear ducts. he starts, bolting upright; lungs screaming silently for rest, bone-splintering expulsions of breath from throat so tender. the sudden desperation to survive has his hands dart downwards, searching for trigger grips only to find themselves fumbling with nothing; no hissing of gas or the rattle of bulky sheathes at his sides. thoughts rapidly begin to consume him; thoughts that have his soul dipped in fear and leave him feeling as though he’s drowning. all he is left with now are the SCARS OF BETRAYAL, the sunshine texture of golden features now paling; a knowledge that comes with no peace.
and he senses the form of another wrap round him. there are memories: memories of restraint / memories of being huddled against red-brick roof / unable to move, to fight back / a paroxysm of thrashing and bombardment of unanswered questions ('why are you doing this?'), mangled screams stuck in his diaphragm. they’re memories that momentarily cause him to flinch, pulsations beating down heavy in his ears — but there’s something else. MEMORIES OF COMPANIONSHIP, a love he holds in his heart for his comrades — indeed, the tapestry they’d bound together as a family had a big part to play in getting him through the last three years. and that’s a thought that soon echoes back the reality, the now. though it seems intangible, he’s made it. even with the homesickness gnawing at his gut, the doubts plaguing his mind. even with the absence of friends weighing down on his shoulders, the visions of them crushed behind behemoth smiles; he’s here now. he’s not quite sure where exactly, but somewhere he remembers, in a hold he remembers. he made it, too? (of course he did). ❝ jean, you’re— ❞
and while marco already feels more at ease, he recognises that they’ve both had to pay such a price to get here. he can’t help but wonder if he deserves it. and while that’s a thought he’s sure the two of them will shoulder together, it’s much too hard to pack away and forget. still, he pushes jean’s concern to the side for the time being, coughing at the effort of speech, a mixture of rasping and wheezing. ❝ i’ll be okay, jean. ❞ of course, it’s a mantra, a reassurance to himself as much as it is to his friend (a phrase stripped of its meaning to most). there’s a grit of his teeth in an attempt to break down the paralysing hurt he finds spreading through his body as he attempts to return the gesture to no avail, arms involuntarily fixed at his sides. the more he thinks about explaining, or simply trying to move again, the more he feels terrified. all he can do now is stare straight ahead, golden browns no longer glinting with curiosity but with fear. his words are snappy against the silence.
❝ wait. did... the alpha squad succeed? did eren manage to seal the wall? ❞
He wanted to add something to it, maybe. To make his own mark on the story. He hasn’t realised how much he wanted to until faced with the reality that he cannot.
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern (via cartonmanettedarnay)
“Oh hey!” Hanji called, looking up to see the newest member of Mike’s squad come to join her, “Look like you got the short straw huh” she chuckled, knowing they probably all shoved this duty onto the greenie. “Don’t worry, I just need a hand while Moblit and the others are busy”.
She had no idea what the others might have told him would happen but she was almost certain they were all a work of fiction.
❝ squad leader hanji—? ❞ boy is snapped into a reverent salute, an earnest sign of respect offered to the one before him. it’s not just admiration that guides his movements, but duty — AN UTMOST DEVOTION that he holds in the fist that clenches over his heart. hanji’s name had come up a few times amongst the airy chatters of his squad members, and even though his nerves prickle, marco is more than willing to give himself up to whatever he’s needed for. he’s sure the cause is a noble one. ❝ it’d be an honour to assist! ❞
❝ if you don’t mind me asking, what is it you need help with? ❞
