dress up

flxnx

[poetichemato]

그렇습니까

눈을 보고 싶은데 니 손을 잡고 싶은데 너의 어깨 입술을 만지고 싶은데 얘길 하고 싶은데 너무나 듣고 싶은데 걷는 걸 좋아하는지 영화를 좋아하는지 어제 꿈은 어땠는지 알고 싶은데 밤새도록 춤을 추고 밤새도록 맥줄 마시며 이야기 하고픈데

애원하긴 싫은데 유치하기도 싫은데 복잡하게 생각하기도 난 싫은데 뒷걸음질 치는 것 무작정 다가가는 것도 싫은데

소리치고 싶지만 별다른 이유는 없기도 하겠지만 있기도 하겠지 손을 잡고 싶지만 그게 너일 필욘 없잖아 니가 필요한건지 따뜻함을 나눌 그런 누군가가 필요한지 알 순 없겠지만 니가 나에게 특별한 사람이 되길 바래

소리치고 싶지만 별다른 이유는 없기도 하겠지만 있기도 하겠지 손을 잡고 싶지만 그게 너일 필욘 없잖아 니가 필요한건지 따뜻함을 나눌 그런 누군가가 필요한지 알 순 없겠지만 니가 나에게 특별한 사람이 되길 바래 

니가 나에게 특별한 사람이 되길 바래

-  흐른

[poetichemato]

Day 246

Told you I wouldn’t keep up– post-wise that is.

Hi, I am back. It’s been a while since the last time I’ve posted. I am now 23, and life is still a maze. I’m inside this maze, however for the past months I’ve been navigating well. There were better days– better days wherein I completely forgot to account such achievements through this blog. I lost weight; thankfully. I’m currently at 126 lbs., 14 lbs lighter than my previous post. I gained more confidence through this challenge. However, being the perfectionist I am, I have yet to achieve my ideals. My lightest was at 118 lbs., which I got to enjoy for merely a couple of days sadly. Quarantine has made my life more stagnant than ever. They say this is the time to focus on self-care but I seem to be spiraling out of control with my eating habits. It’s horrible. Rice was introduced again in my diet, and so was sugar. But I decided to start dieting again. Today marks my first day of my ‘phase 2′ of dieting. I wanna slim down to 115 lbs. There is no deadline so I’m not pressuring myself. Typically it would take about a week for me to lose a pound. However, since my metabolism has somewhat declined, I’m thinking 2 weeks would be the new duration. I am still positive. I want all of this to be over. My mind is struck with COVID-19 worries. I feel like this is the reason of all my stress-eating.

Aside from losing weight, I want to take better of my skin. I have yet to invest in skincare, but now that I have alot of time on my hands, I could experiment with new ways of taking care of my skin and getting rid of my acne. I also want to incorporate painting and writing to my quarantine-hobbies. It would be a shame to take this time for granted. Wish me well. Here I go again. I’ve been in a slump, but I’ll get back on my feet.

[hazy-october]

source

[poetichemato]