[pointlessstupidthoughts]

life is hard when you care so much

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I feel so trapped everywhere and I hate it

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

It’s been really tough lately. It sucks.

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I’m angry. I’m angry that I allow myself to be a pushover. I’m angry at myself for feeling this way knowing I can be better. I’m angry that I always find myself in this position. I feel stuck here.

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I’m not sure exactly what I need from you, but I just. need. something.

I want to feel okay again. I don’t want to sweep it under the rug. I don’t want to pretend. I want to think about it and not feel the hurt. I want to be a better person and move on.

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I started my day and it hits me out of nowhere on my drive to work. It’s crazy.

I said that I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to know more details. I want to talk about it, but I don’t know where to start. We had the chance to do that today. But... I look at you and I have to hold back tears, so I try not to keep eye contact for too long. How will I hold a conversation about something that hurts me?

Another thing is that it’s out now. I said I feel embarrassed. I said I don’t want their pity. I said I don’t to want to look dumb. I was told that nothing has changed and the only person that can make things awkward is me. It’s true. It’s the fact that it is out there that makes me feel ... ashamed. I’m honestly not sure if that’s even the right word to describe how I’m feeling.

I just need that conversation to happen...

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

Always Listen to Momma

I have been thinking about every single factor and each one breaks my heart a little more and more.

Long drives are therapeutic for my current thoughts. What if this? What if that? Why? Why? Why?

I guess the situation hits me occasionally where I just can’t stop the tears from flowing. It gets worse at night. You see... it’s still a shock to me, all I can wonder is why? I find myself zoning out a lot and just thinking about the fact that it’s true and it happened.

It’s true and it happened.

I was told by a friend that I need to give myself time. Time to get over it. Time to forgive, but not forget.

This is how I am: it’s a cycle. I usually jump right back into being “normal”. It’s just so much easier to do what I’m used to. My mind then brings it back to the situation and I start to spiral down from there. Cycle restarts.

I know I should cut myself some slack. It’s only been a day. Only been a day... can’t believe that part.

At the end of the day, I know what I want. I’m just... empty, numb, scared. I need a guide on how to forgive.

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I was right about everything all along. You know that feeling where you’re scared that you actually might be right? That feeling of hearing the truth and wanting to know more despite how much it hurts? It all makes sense.

I’ve always told myself to not be put in this position... and what to do if I was. I told myself it’s a done deal. Here I am... doing the complete opposite of what I told myself to do so many times before.

It’s tough because there’s really no guide to follow. It’s all on me and I don’t think I’m mentally strong enough for this. I already feel weak for going back on my words.

When I say my heart is hurting, it is hurting a. lot.

[millionsknives]

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future. 

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I just feel alone, you know?

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

I don’t ever expect an apology because I know better, but of course, it wouldn’t hurt to receive one.

[lyjerria]

as you get older, you realize that you’re not always right and there’s so many things you could’ve handled better, so many situations where you could’ve been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.

[deactivated-blog]

It gets a little bit easier once you realize you can accomplish things at your own pace and that’s okay

[pointlessstupidthoughts]

It’s one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced and I hate the fact that it always manages to come back.

[hipster]

can’t wait for the day that somebody tells me i’m the best thing that’s ever happened to them and they mean it

[alwaysmeek]

You deserve a relationship that allows you to sleep peacefully at night.

[senseitive]

I hope that you become filled with so much happiness that it heals every part of you