Poorly-Translated Wagyan Land

Wagyan Land is a series of Japan-only Namco games about a little green robot-kaiju thing called Wagyan. Using the power of Google Translate, I plan on translating all the games to get a better understanding of the series. This blog is just for fun, and is not affiliated with Namco in any way. Check out the about section for more information: https://poorly-translated-wagyan.tumblr.com/about

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And so, this journey has come to a close

I’ve documented all my poor translations and described each games’ stories and dialogues to the best of my abilities. They’re fairly simple, so they weren’t hard to get the gist of, but I am happy to have done this project. Here’s a quick navigation for those who want to find information on each game quickly:

Wagyan (Arcade)

Wagyan Land (Famicom)

Wagyan Land 2 (Famicom)

Super Wagyan Land (Super Famicom)

Wagyan Land 3 (Famicom)

Super Wagyan Land 2 (Super Famicom)

Wagyan Paradise (Super Famicom)

Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken aka Wagyan Adventure (Nintendo DS)

To celebrate this occassion, here’s some art I’ve made. You can find my twitter here too for more art.

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Wagyan Land skin for Pac-Man 99.

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Some enemies from the obscure famicom game Wagyan Land, plus a few miscellaneous doodles.

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In 2012, Namco had a collection of Webcomics made based on a bunch of their old franchises like Dig-Dug, Katamari, and Sky Kid. Surprisingly enough, Wagyan Land was also part of that collection. The website that hosted the webcomics has long since shut down, and I couldn’t find anywhere the had the comics posted other than this tumblr that had archives of all Shiftylook comics.

Wagyan Land had 14 webcomics made in total, here are the last six of them.

<<<Back to Part 1

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In 2012, Namco had a collection of Webcomics made based on a bunch of their old franchises like Dig-Dug, Katamari, and Sky Kid. Surprisingly enough, Wagyan Land was also part of that collection. The website that hosted the webcomics has long since shut down, and I couldn’t find anywhere the had the comics posted other than this tumblr that had archives of all Shiftylook comics.

Wagyan Land had 14 webcomics made in total, here are the first eight of them.

Go to Part 2>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 10

Giving chase, Wagyan sees the doctor having some stomach problems, regretting his impulsive need to swallow ancient artifacts whole. Suddenly, the doctor begins to grow, and jumps out the ceiling!

Giving chase, Wagyan sees Dr. Devil has become Devil Man, the final genie he must beat to take back all the stolen wisdom. It truly is the final battle!

Minigame after grueling minigame, save state after save state, great music and determination, Wagyan finally defeats Devil Man, and retakes the artifact! It flies into the air, and fireworks explode, ending with a cute Wagyan-shaped explosion of fireworks!

The wisdom returns to the villagers after the big machine crashes near their village, and the artifact is safely returned to them. Peace is restored! But what if Wagyan? Those ungrateful kids don't even stop to think of their lost friend!

Turns out Wagyan is okay! But he's stuck in space, and floats off after shouting "The End!" The ending screen taunts me, promising another game, but as far as I know this is the final game in the series. And with that, every Wagyan game sans the first Wagyan Land has been google translated by me! This has been a great journey and I'm finally glad I can mostly understand the story and lore behind Wagyan. Here's hoping a new game will come out someday! I really appreciate anyone who’s read this blog, and hope that more people can give the series a try. Who knows, Wagyan got a cameo in others games, even as recent as having a skin in Pac-Man 99 for the Nintendo Switch. The End, Wagyan.

<<<Go back to Part 9 Start Over from Part 1>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 9

After a funny and worrying title, we see Wagyan has successful caught up to the giant machine that flew to space. Wagyan latches on with his big mouth, determined to stop Dr. Devil!

Wagyan is helped onto the space station by the final genie...Touch Man. I guess cause the minigames will involve the touch screen? Odd name. Anyway, it seems Touch Man helped Wagyan onto the space station to test his skills. An honorable genie, which sounds like an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.

After an honorable loss to Wagyan, Touch Man sends his farewells to Wagyan and seals himself away. Finally, someone with some manners!

Moving forward, Wagyan finally confronts Dr. Devil! Getting desperate, Dr. Devil takes the artifact out from his machine, and...ingests it?! Mad man!

Who can blame him?

<<<Back to Part 8 Continue to Part 10>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 8

Dr. Devil's plan is finally ready, and is put into action! The villagers are struck by lightning as their wisdom floats out of them, and to Dr. Devil.

He instantly absorbs the wisdom with the device he created using the artifact he stole. Also glad his flea problem is getting better. Fleas are no joke, if your pet is scratching, take them to a vet as soon as possible to get checked out. Modern flea medicine is better prescribed, the stuff on the shelves aren’t nearly as effective as whatever a good vet can give you. Please, take good care of your pets!

Meanwhile, up in some cloudy land with floating islands, Wagyan and the children notice the sky go from a lovely blue to an ominous red, and while Wagyan stands dumbfounded, he's about to be struck by lightning from Dr. Devil's machine! The kids push Wagyan out of the way, and get struck themselves, sacrificing their wisdom for Wagyan's courage. It's power time.

Sidenote, but seeing a crying Wagyan just breaks my cold, black heart.

Thankfully, Wagyan's wisdom stays with him, and he'll need it for the Quiz Man...that or a lot of Save States, which this Wagyan thankfully can use at will. Angered at his friend's not-death, Wagyan's expression goes from Head-Empty to Action Man, and he's determined to stop Dr. Devil's plan and save everyone's wisdom!

We are the Wagyans! Another genie down.

...But that's not all! Dr. Devil comes out to taunt Wagyan, somewhat impressed by Wagyan's ability to beat Quiz Man.

The Doctor pulls out a button that summons a giant machine from a crater in the earth, and eggs Wagyan to come face him for one more battle. Using the Wagyan coptor, Wagyan flies up and gives chase after the big machine!

<<<Back to Part 7 Continue to Part 9>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 7

In the next world, Wagyan and the kids find themselves in an ice cave, and...a return of an old favorite mechanic! During his fun, the ice gets blasted and another genie appears.

Modicus Man! His games are a spin-off of Shiritori, where you make phrases by dragging kana symbols to each other. This guy seems more serious than the previous genies, and claims Dr. Devil is on route to rule the world.

...Google translate, are you memeing on me? I had to double take when I saw that.

Thus, another genie down, this one claiming it's too late to stop Dr. Devil. I know I didn’t say much during this world, but there wasn’t much to say. Don’t worry, things are about to heat up in the next post, so stay tuned!

<<<Back to Part 6 Continue to Part 8>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 6

Before we get back to Wagyan, we see a small cutscene where Dr. Devil is plotting something. He seems to have put the artifact he stole into some sort of machine, but we don't know what it does yet. At least, you don't know what it does yet.

Meanwhile, Wagyan and the kids are dragging their feet in the desert. Hot, thirsty, and sick of the sitar music playing around them that desert themes always seem to have, the desert then becomes more stereotypical when the gang discovers an oasis.

I wanted to call this that annoying trope of characters seeing a mirage oasis, but suddenly the next genie appears, Rock-Paper-Scissors Man! He blocks the way to the oasis, and the kids, being the annoying mouthpieces they are, anger the genie and he makes it even hotter in the desert somehow. I guess the bright red skin would make anyone feel hotter just by looking at him.

His minigame is obviously rock-paper-scissors, but we can't just make it as simple as a guessing game. No, there's a whole card game dedicated to it, where you place cards on other cards that corresponds to each hand, using your card to beat other cards. There's a name for this card game, but damned if I’m going to bother looking it up.

Rock-Paper-Scissors man whines about losing and pleads for forgiveness, but crimes like this leads fools to suffer in the shadow realm.

<<<Back to Part 5 Continue to Part 7>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 5

The next world takes place in the happiest place of all...

No, not Disney World. Wagyan Land! And much to my amusement, a giant statue of the original Wagyan is featured in the background, calling back to the original Wagyan Land on the Famicom.

Honestly, it brings a stupid smile to my face, and leads me to believe this is a far-off sequel that features Wagyan as a legendary being that's sleeping until he is needed. Of course, the Wagyan in this game is, in my opinion, different from the original Wagyan, and this statue gives weight to that theory since the original Wagyan is depicted here. Yes, I'm reading far too deep into this obscure franchise for babies, but that's why we're here in the first place, right? Let me be happy for once.

Of course, fun and games go awry. Wagyan and the kids run around aimlessly with so much childish glee, they don't even notice a balloon salesman as Wagyan crashes straight into him! Now, it may be purely coincidence, but it's at this moment that everything goes dark, and the next genie appears.

Marble Man, as I will call him to continue the "man" trend these genies have gotten, sends minions out to attack Wagyan, which of course Wagyan easily disposes of. It chases off the kids though, which is a win. Anyway, Marble Man's minigame is a game of marbles.

Using an adorable Wagyan-themed marble, you use the DS stylus to flick it and knock off the opponent's marbles. Of course, this screenshot was just an excuse to share the Wagyan marble, something I desperately wish I had in my pocket at all times as it could probably solve at least 98% of my problems every day.

And thus, after a game of Tin Pin Slammer, the genie is defeated. I find it interesting this is the first time Wagyan's intelligence is ever noted in the series, as doing all these mind games to even beat a scientist at would probably take a lot of ingenuity. Anyway, from here we move on, and bid farewell to Wagyan Land, the amusement park with the greatest statue ever built to honor the bravest hero we ever knew.

<<<Back to Part 4 Continue to Part 6>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 4

In the next world, Wagyan and the kids end up on the beach. Not two seconds after they start to think they're going to have fun, everything goes black again, which means...

Another Genie! Eawase Man, that is, which I'm not sure is what it's supposed to say, but his games deal in match-two card games. I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed with these designs so far. Anyway, these kids seem to be that annoying trope games love to do with silent protagonists and speak for Wagyan at every turn. Personal opinion coming up, but I really wish developers would find more creative ways for the silent protagonist to get their point across without having to introduce a needless fairy character or sidekick to speak for them, but that's just me.

Anyway, after the pink kid's bluff, Eawase Man sends his 2D minions out at Wagyan, who just stuns them with his powerful shouts. After a premature celebration, the genie knocks the stunned monsters away. Wagyan tries his shout on the genie this time, but he's protected by a powerful forcefield. The genie taunts Wagyan and tells him the only way to defeat him is through a rigorous game of match-two card games for babies.

After Eawase Man's defeat, he exclaims that he is the classiest genie of them all, and is promptly sucked away.

Hey, "Gya" is Wagyan's line, not yours!

<<<Back to Part 3 Continue to Part 5>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 3

Wagyan arrives in a small village that was translated as Thirspe. Okay. He finds two children crying as a bunch of people are lying on the ground, completely drained of their brains. The two crying children beg Wagyan for help, when suddenly everything goes black.

The next genie appears! This one is called...Mistake Man, which would be an unfortunate name but it's really just because of the kind of genie he is. Every world has its own genie causing mischief. The first world has Shiritori Man, who made Wagyan play Shiritori, while Mistake Man makes Wagyan play a game where you spot the difference in a picture.

Something like this.

And after another world of braindead platforming, Wagyan defeats the next genie. I don't know if it's Google Translate, but this genie seems to be rather self-loathing. I guess with a name like "Mistake Man", things don't often pan out how you like. I'm getting feels for a boss in a baby game. Sue me.

<<<Back to Part 2 Continue to Part 4>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 2

The way this game works is it consists of seven worlds with an unlockable eighth world once the seventh world is cleared. A bit of an unfortunate turnover that may be disappointing to some, but Wagyan Adventure doesn’t have lush island settings, abstract slides, and deep pirate ships. Most Wagyan Land games didn’t have the most creative settings, but the settings some had did stand out, such as underwater laboratories and crystal caves. Wagyan Adventure opts for the NSMB way of doing things, consisting of grass-desert-water-sky etc themes. There is an outlier among the selection, but for the most part the world theming doesn’t get too out there as far as DS platformers go.

Anyway, each world starts with a big cutscene, then Wagyan goes through the world in typical Wagyan fashion. When Wagyan reaches the boss of that world, another cutscene plays, then another cutscene for the boss being defeated before moving onto the next world. There will be very little gameplay in these blog posts, as usual, as I am more focused on showing what these cutscenes are about.

After a rather lackluster first world serving nothing as a tutorial for babies, Wagyan challenges Shiritori man to...Shiritori, and easily beats him with the power of Save States. Given this isn't the same Wagyan as before, he no longer has the power of Rewind but must rely on Saveing his State and Reloading his State whenever a Japanese word play game comes up and he needs to brute force it because Wagyan doesn't know a lick of Japanese. Also, it's on a DS emulator which doesn't have a rewind feature because the DS is more complex than an NES or SNES. Back on topic, the genie curses that he loses to a baby and gets sucked into a vortex, which spits out a chest. This happens for every boss defeated, and the chest itself releases a light into the air that doesn’t seem to do anything at all. Wagyan then moves onto the next world.

<<<Back to Part 1 Continue to Part 3>>>

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Hirameki Action: Chibikko Wagyan no Ōkina Bōken (Nintendo DS, 2009) Part 1

Or as I like to call it, "Chibi Wagyan", is the final game that I know of in the entirety of the Wagyan Land series. It's a bit of a soft reboot from what my naive mind can figure, and I'll touch on why later. Something tells me this isn't a redesigned Wagyan, but rather a new character as a whole. Anyway, the title seemed so insane that Google Translate had a bit of a hard time capturing all the kana, but henceforth I will trust its judgement and call this "Wagyan Adventure" as well.

I've already beaten the game and seen all it has to offer, but thankfully in the main menu there is a gallery that has every cutscene in it. Like Wagyan Paradise, this game has a large count of cutscenes, but in this game they're fully animated in 3D, they are also very cute. In the gallery, it titles each cutscene like an episode of an anime, which is fitting considering that these cutscenes are basically just 3D anime.

The game starts with an overview of an island with a large shrine on it.

Inside the large shrine, there is a cool-looking dragon statue that is spiked, has a nose horn, and a U-shaped tail...Interesting, and an obvious allusion to Wagyan.

Dr. Devil is back to cause havoc! He’s got another slight redesign, and I gotta say, I think this is the best look he’s gotten in the entire series. No longer looking like a fusion between Dr. Wily and Eggman, I feel this design for Dr. Devil really helps him stand out. Hell, this whole game has a fantastic art style, a bit Wind Waker-y, but all its own. It also makes me think of Mr. Driller, another Namco property.

Seems that, aside from this dragon statue, this shrine also hosted a powerful artifact that lets the user steal the wisdom of the people around him.

The cool dragon statue notices this trouble going on, and awakens with a powerful beam!

Out come an adorable little Wagyan, and with no hesitation, it uses its trademark shouting skills to stun the doctor, much in the way Wagyan in the past did.

This Wagyan seems a lot more hyperactive and playful, deciding to try to jump on and ride the doctor after stunning him, and it is absolutely adorable.

Not one for fun and games, Dr. Devil breaks out of the stun and uses the device to summon a genie who goes by...Shiritori Man. Fitting, given how large of a role Shiritori plays in the series. Aside from stealing people’s wisdom, I guess the artifact that Dr. Devil stole acts like a genie’s lamp too.

Shiritori Man sees Dr. Devil as a master, and teleports him away to safety. He comments how Dr. Devil is a naive guy, and sees Wagyan ready to stand up to him. The cutscene ends, and the game begins, and Wagyan is ready to shout once more!

Continue to Part 2>>>

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Spiker first appeared in Wagyan Paradise (1994) before its design was recycled for the majority of the Klonoa series, first reappearing in Door to Phantomile (1997/98).

Klonoa shares a lot of the same gameplay mechanics and aesthetics that were used in Wagyan Paradise. Both were likely done by the same development team.

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A Japanese guidebook for Wagyan Paradise (ワギャンパラダイス).