Unapologetic Experiences

A 24-year Woman experiencing Life, Career, Love, Sex, Passion, and Disappointment

[positivelypromiscuous-blog]

homegirl, quit your shit.

Yea, no. I gotta calm the f down. I know I am really starting to like SGA God, but like for what? He hasn’t done anything worth falling for him more deeply than maybe medium-level (ya know, if there is a lickert scale for love).

Yea, okay he kissed me in a darkly-lit parking lot after dinner. BIG WHOOP. The reality is homeboy is not looking for a relationship...maybe not that he’s not looking for one, but doesn’t have time or energy for one. My respects. I get it. Same here.

But, that also means I need to watch my heart and guard it. He is not giving me more than I need to. I need to make sure I don’t get hurt because I let my feelings run away from me.

He’s never called me “pretty, beautiful”, bought me flowers, professed love or like more than when I told him I like him.

So point being...homegirl, quit your shit.

[positivelypromiscuous-blog]

Sorry, again.

WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I AM ALWAYS THE ONE TO SAY “SORRY”?

I always...I mean always bow down, even when I feel it goes both ways...This behavior better bring me some good fucking karma.

Do I mess up that much?

frfr

[positivelypromiscuous-blog]

Sucks losing you.

I am also real bummed about Thunder Thighs quitting our friendship. I mean he was a great listener, etc. However, I really did care about him, however, I saw him more as a friend or brother. He did tend to be overly critical at times tho. I tried to explain that to him, but unfortunately, when asked I was unable to come out with clear examples...that apparently pissed him off a lot. He is real sensitive.

Lastly, he wanted to hang on Sunday. But, he started his conversation with something about coming over and watching volcano eruption documentaries...his inside joke to his cumming eruptions. I made a dirty joke, he proceeded to call and say that, that would be clutch. I said I would hit him up if I got home early enough. I texted him that I got home, he asked what I wanted to do and I said just chill cause I had an early day. He replied “Why did you even text me then”....sounded so fucking rude. But, I shrugged it off. It upset me tho. He decided to say “goodnight”...fucking dramatic af.

And I unleashed. I said I didn’t want to be used for his nut and then he heads out (he drives about 1.5 to see me). It probably wasn’t my best response, but I was really annoyed that “my friend” was upset cause I wanted to chill and not do something...especially after I had offered that in 4 days (his birthday) i would take him out for dinner, where I would drive to him....Fuck him right!? I am just annoyed and upset that I lost a friend...but oh well. Sometimes there is “good” in goodbye.

[positivelypromiscuous-blog]

Man, I really like you tho.

Urgh, y’all. I am falling for SGA God and that’s so annoying and inconvenient. Yes, I know I am still single and seeing others. I also may seem to be unattached. But, I really like SGA God. He makes me laugh like no one else has. He’s also stable, unfortunately though, he just doesn’t really express himself. There’s this wall he maintains. I assume its to keep up appearances. I live in a city where he is really well known and it is not uncommon for him to bump into someone. He’s always maintained this “single-persona” so me in the picture isn’t common.

He recently showed PDA...which was the first in 2.5 months knowing and seeing each other. Kissed my lips in public...however, in a parking lot as we went out separate ways after dinner...I was surprised.

I know he likes me...but I also know he isn’t ready for a relationship. Plus he is leaving in 4 months. I am not sure what to do...

The person who reads my cards recently explained that SGA God would only be temporary and to enjoy his presence. I would end up meeting a great love affair full of laughter and happiness in a time-frame dealing with 6 (whether 6 days, weeks, or months). So there’s that. Man, if there is better than SGA God, then I’ve hit the jackpot. Maybe, I just like the idea of him...

How do you know when you like the idea of someone or you like someone for who they are presently? That’s the question.

[positivelypromiscuous-blog]

My supposed love-life:

June 2017: Moved 1,100+ miles to the South East Coast in search of new job and scholarly opportunities.

December 2017: My boyfriend of six-months or so left without a word. He only seemed to take his toothbrush and the clothes on his back, along with every dream we dreamed. He left the rest... I arrived to a house, trashed with no answered questions. Simply put, he apologized in a text a couple of weeks later and wished me the best of luck...cute, thanks. Mofo left without paying his part of the rent too...was a real shit month, y’all.

January 2018: Got back on tinder, cause fuck it, I got needs. Met a guy I’ll name College Wrestler. He’s cool. There’s not intense attraction other than the subtle fuck once in a while if he is in town. Other than that, he’s sweet and makes me squirt...so I guess i’ll keep him around. But, mostly just cause I let him use my Prime account and I need him to return a book he rented so I don’t have to pay $200. I really know how to put myself in some shit situations...you’ll notice that.

February 2018: Met SGA God & Thunder Thighs.

SGA God:

Tall, Dark, Handsome.

Two Degrees.

Salary

Passionate and Pleasing Lover

Never been in a committed relationship. Awesome...Great...Solid. Sounds like this is going to turn out just great

Thunder Thighs

Killer body...he can snap necks with his thighs *Drool*

Great listener

One Degree

Unemployed, but only recently because he moved back to the state.

Never touches or flirts when he is around me...

I think of him as a bro...he thinks that’s odd

March 2018:

SGA God asked for exclusivity with sex and *talking*. I’m still fucking College Wrestler every so often, but eh. Can’t trust these hoes. It’s only been twice tho. Somehow I will continue to justify my acts of wanting to squirt...A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do...if SGA God doesn’t want me to fuck other people, he better DTR (Define the Relationship).

April 2018:

SGA God and I, Dtr’d. He’s moving two states away for school...5 hour drive. Nah fam. We decided we aren’t going to pursue a relationship...sucks tho. Like I said, I knew this was gonna turn out just great. He isn’t down to commit either. However, somehow we are still doing the sex/talk exclusive thing. Not really seeing College Wrestler like that anymore, however, he wants to live in my extra room during the summer...he will pay...Let’s see how that plays out. Oh, and Thunder Thighs broke up our “friendship” because I am too difficult to relate to or with...after I decided that I wanted to sleep rather than have sex because I worked early the next day...boy bye.