Bad Posts and Worse Ideas @posting-straight-from-hell - Tumblr Blog

It’s bad. Today is bad.

One day. One day we won’t share a household with him. I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

#I am the camel #and there are SO MANY FUCKING STRAWS #I’m so pissed. I really am.

Maybe I can try being more honest.

#I want to be.#It sounds a bit like hell but I want to be #I miss it #And well #(Hes) been a great example of how it brings good things #But (hes) also mainly been doing it alone.#Okay. Time to get more honest.#For everyone #For myself #That’s a promise

I feel like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#miserable.#whatever.

Close enough! Welcome back middleschool environment and mental state!

#God I hate it here.

Romance is a fine line I’ve always loved to trip over

#Ive had two different romance stories #but I can’t say they’re separate #I have loved my best friend for so long I’m not sure there is a love separate from it.#For most of my life I knew I would never love another #I tried because I did not want to be alone #But. Well.#The heart wants what it wants.#I accepted this #And then my teammate came and upended my life #I don’t know when I fell for him either #I just remember looking at him one day #And realizing my heart had wandered off without permission again.#My best friend taught me how to feel love #My teammate taught me how to choose love #And I get to live in a world where I have both now #Their smiles are realer than they used to be #I don’t pray very often at all anymore #But I would like to thank god for this life #I’m so grateful for it. I really am

im foing to fufckihng puke

#ow ow wow woe ow ow wo wo wo ow

Surface tension under a stage light.

#It’s always too much #And it’s never close to enough #Does everyone feel fundamentally broken and like everything is falling apart #The past feels better than the present because you are no longer in it.#And also the memory problems. The memory problems do this a lot too.

Whyyyyyyyyyyy is my brain so bad why why why why why why

#why does everything suck.#What the fuck.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#tge shivers cant be a good sign.

Sometimes it’s all a bit much. I kinda wish my source wasn’t so popular

#It’s hard being able to see so many’s opinions on me #On my friends and partners #It’s hard when theyre wrong #It can be harder when theyre right.#Sometimes I think about how different things could be if. if if if.#But it’s cruel. To me and everyone I love #Theres no use is obsessing about how the past could’ve been #How it could’ve been kinder. Realer. How I could’ve been those things.#Because I can be those things now. Not because I need to make up foor anything #Just because I want to be #So. Yknow what? It doesn’t really matter what randos online think #It doesn’t matter what people who know my source in real life think #It doesn’t even matter what my source thinks!#Because I get to choose to be kinder and realer these days #And thats more than worth it.

Head, meet wall. Wall? Kill this motherfucker.

#I think we’re just sleep deprived #But OH BOY do the Bad Times just. Appearz

We are adept in finding ways to never ever think about things we don't want to.

#We've been feeling better #So that means we're feeling worse #Safety is not a situation we know how to navigate #Who even are we without out the walls?#I feel like a desperate cold bloody thing #The flesh that surrounds me is all that keeps me warm and presentable #For all my pretending #I am just a hurt child who still doesn't understand that it isn't supposed to feel like this day in day out #Isn't it funny how my problems are so simple #And that makes them stupidly complex?#sometimes i wish more people hated me. more people loved me.#I want to be seen in black and white #A perfect 2D cartoon character.

Fuck it. Everyone else gets to crash the hell out?? Me too.

#I'm done! I'm done.#Let me remind you- That I am not your dad.

Gender is scary. Repressing that!

#SAVE ME #CAN WE STOP REPRESSING EVERYTHING #GENDER. SEXUALITY. PRONOUNS. CRUSHES.#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Been awhile since the last post. It’s funny how you think everything used to be better sometimes, but if you actually check it absolutely wasn’t

#like looking at this account reminds us that oh!#everything was NOT better a few months ago!!#infact it was much much worse!!!!#I think our current problem is we are actually healing #but that requires resetting broken bones and opening infected wounds to disinfect them #so everything feels so raw #And the hurt is so fresh when you so much as lean on the wound #that and our body’s current tactic of combat is sleep deprivation

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#I can’t focus on shit cuz I’m so stressed.

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