summary: a spell goes wrong and ends up with you and sam switching bodies. neither of you tell dean, which ends up being the greatest decision you ever made
pairing: dean winchester x witch!reader; best friend!sam winchester x witch!reader (platonic, obvs)
word count: 6.3k+
warnings: swearing, mentions of magic use, misunderstandings, miscommunication, angst, secrets, accidental love confessions, awkward idiots, mutual pining, friends to lovers, fluff, cliches, minor use of [y/n], (female pronouns/descriptors used)
āI canāt believe weāre doing this,ā Sam grunted under his breath, continuing to powder the contents of your mortar with more force than necessary. āIf Dean finds out about this-ā
āDean asked me to do this,ā you defended, eyes skimming over the page in front of you before looking up at him. āOkay, maybe not verbatim, but he asked!ā you added upon seeing the look on Samās face.Ā
āOh, yeah. Yeah, Iām sure he did,ā he replied sarcastically, slamming the pestle down with enough force to make you flinch.Ā
āWould you be fucking careful!ā you hissed, glaring at him. āThat thing isnāt indestructible and itās important to me, it was a gift-āĀ
āFrom Dean,ā he finished for you. āI know. Sorry,ā he added, and even though his tone was sincere, you just knew he rolled his eyes anyway; and you chucked the closest thing you could grab at his back in retaliation.Ā
āDick,ā you muttered, going back to reading the passage before you.Ā
It wasnāt often that you used your powers - more so when it came down to a last resort option - and when Dean first discovered that you had magic, it wasnāt intentional. The two of you were on a hunt together, and it was - of course - not going to plan. You were on the brink of consciousness, having no choice but to watch defenselessly as Dean became outnumbered by Vamps. The spell came out of nowhere, nothing more than a primal instinct to protect him, and before anyone knew what was happening, the two of you were left alone with nothing but piles of ash where the monsters once stood. Dean first thought that Rowena had somehow stumbled upon them to save the day once more, though once he realized the spell came from you, he damn near lost his mind. You would have rather he yelled at you, smashed things around, anything compared to what he did. Once he made sure you were okay and had you checked out, he simply acted as if you didnāt exist; you were completely frozen out of his life. He never needed to say anything, you could see it in his eyes every time he glanced at you: How could you be a witch? He hated witches, and you knew that- itās half the reason you never told him in the first place. He only started coming around with Samās convincing- and even then, it took an incredibly long time for him to trust you again. Then, one day, he came to realize that no matter what happened, he could never hate you. So, he came to you with an open mind and a peace offering- the exact mortar and pestle you had once told Sam that you wanted, because it reminded you of your motherās- and the two of you worked on putting the pieces of your friendship back together.Ā
āAss,ā Sam retorted, turning and walking over to you with the freshly crushed ingredients.Ā
āYou know,ā you started, taking it from his hands. āYou canāt really be against this all that much, otherwise you wouldnāt be here helping.ā
āIām only here so you donāt get yourself killed.ā
āOh, come on,ā you urged with a chuckle. āYou love doing this, and you know it.ā
He gave you a sarcastic smile before taking the book from you. āLetās just get this over with.ā
āFine,ā you huffed, snatching the book right back.Ā
With one final glare at each other, you started the spell. Everything was going well⦠until it wasnāt.Ā
You arenāt exactly sure where it went wrong. You donāt know if it was the ingredients, the way you said the spell, or just a mixture of everything, but before you even knew what was happening the bowl before you exploded in a cloud of yellow and sent both you and Sam flying.Ā
āOh, god,ā you groaned, holding a hand to your head as your ears rang. āWhat the fuck?ā you wondered aloud, feeling strange beyond comprehension.Ā
āWhat the hell happened?ā Sam croaked out.
āI donāt know,ā you admitted quietly. āAre you okay?ā
āYeah,ā he said through a fit of coughs. āYou?ā
āI donāt know. Something feels wrong,ā you declared, sitting up. It was at that exact moment you realized why you felt so different. āSam?ā you asked meekly.
āYeah?ā he questioned, sitting up. āWait-āĀ
āIām-ā you began, unable to finish as you stared at your hands; were they even your hands?Ā
āYouāreā¦.ā Sam tried, staring at you then down at his body; your body?Ā
āYouāre me!ā you exclaimed, gesturing between the two of you.Ā
āYouāre me!ā he echoed, scrambling to stand.
You followed suit, using the wall behind you to help you stand. āGod, how do you live like this?ā
āMe? What about you? I wonāt even be able to reach the upper cabinets in the kitchen!ā he countered, flailing his arms around.Ā
āAt least youāll be able to fit on your bed! My feet are gonna dangle!ā you huffed, folding your arms over yourself.Ā
āYou need to fix this,ā Sam declared, stepping towards you. You couldnāt help but take a few steps away- this was way too weird. Youāve seen shifters take your image before, but this was actually you. Only it wasnāt you. You felt like your head was about to explode.Ā
āGee, you think, Sam?ā you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him. āI thought weād just stay like this forever!āĀ
He opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the door swinging open. You both flinched, turning to see Dean peering into the room.Ā
āWhat the fuckās with all the yelling?ā he asked, glancing around. āThe hell is going on?āĀ
āI- uh-ā you tried to answer, but nothing came to mind.Ā
āJust, uhā¦. experimenting,ā Sam supplied, and you sent him a glare.Ā
āExperimenting?ā Dean repeated, raising his eyebrows at you- or rather, at whom he thought was you.Ā
āYeah,ā Sam said with a shrug, not sure what else to say. The two of you shared a look, silently agreeing not to breathe a word of what was really going on.Ā
Deanās face softened, and he sighed. āDonāt tell me youāre actually doing that spell. Sweetheart, we can get by without it.āĀ
āWe donāt-ā you started to argue, before Sam interrupted you with a clearing of his throat.Ā
Right. Dean wasnāt exactly talking to you right now.Ā
āThought it was a good opportunity to practice,ā Sam replied, sounding more like he was asking than telling.Ā
āRight,ā Dean said, eyeing your body wearily.Ā
Oh, god. He was gonna pick up on something being wrong, it was only a matter of time.Ā
āYou can leave any time now,ā you spoke up, more irritated than you meant to sound, but you were severely on edge.
Dean turned to you with a look of surprise. āāScuse me?ā
āI just- you know, weāre in the middle of something,ā you continued, doing your best to stand your ground.Ā
āYeah, I can see that,ā he quipped, taking a step towards you. āWhat the hell were you thinking? Why are you letting her mess around with this stuff? Better yet, why are you helping her mess around with this stuff?āĀ
āItās just a simple spell,ā you argued, your head swirling with the fact that you were looking down on him, instead of being dwarfed by his frame like you normally would be.Ā
āA simple spell?ā he repeated, fury and irritation dancing in his eyes. āDo you even hear yourself right now?āĀ Ā
āLast I checked we could make our own decisions, Dean!ā you exclaimed, glaring at him.Ā
āSure,ā he placated with a nod. āSo long as theyāre not stupid ass decisions!āĀ
āCan we go ten minutes in this place without a fight happening?ā Sam pitched in, already exasperated with the situation.Ā
āYeah, sure,ā Dean grumbled, glaring at you. āFoodās ready.ā
āWeāll be there in a few minutes,ā Sam announced, earning a glare from you in return.Ā
āDonāt you think we should finish-ā you tried to ask, but were quickly cut off by Dean.Ā
āNo, you guys are done in here,ā he declared, shaking his head. āLetās go.ā
āDean-ā you tried once more, only to be cut off again.Ā
āSam,ā Dean warned. āIām not kidding. Whatever you two were doing, itās done.ā
āFine. Weāll be out in a few minutes,ā you relented, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. āWe need to clean up!ā you added upon seeing the look on Deanās face.Ā
āFive minutes,ā Dean agreed pointedly. āOr I swear, Iāll drag both your asses out of this room.āĀ
āYeah, five minutes, got it,ā you huffed, watching him as he hesitantly left the room.Ā
You waited a few moments before hastily making your way over and all but slamming the door, turning to look at Sam with wide eyes.Ā
āWe are so screwed,ā he declared, matching your expression.Ā
āWhat are we supposed to do? Heās gonna figure out somethingās wrong!ā you exclaimed, slumping against the door behind you.Ā
āWe justā¦. I donāt know, pretend?ā Sam suggested with a shrug.Ā
āPretend?ā you repeated incredulously. āSam, this is insane! We canāt just pretend to be each other!āĀ
āItās not like I meant permanently!ā he defended, holding out his hands in surrender. āBut until we can find a way to fix this, we have to at least play the part in front of Dean.āĀ
āFine,ā you agreed with a huff. āBut I am not going on your crack of dawn jogs.āĀ
āOh, come on-ā he started to argue, though quickly stopped when met with your glare. āYeah, okay, that- thatās fine.āĀ
āGreat. Now letās go before Dean gets even more pissy,ā you declared, opening the door with a flourish.Ā
With a quick nod, he followed you down the hall, the two of you lowly bickering about the situation all the way to the kitchen.Ā
āI feel like a baby giraffe with this fucking body.ā
āYou look like a baby giraffe, do you not know how to walk?āĀ
āYeah, I know how to walk! I know how to walk with normal legs!ā
āNormal? Youāre short enough to get in anywhere with a childās pass!āĀ
āKeep up with the attitude, Sam. Maybe Iāll go have a really nice salon visit and cut all this hair!āĀ
āFine, then maybe Iāll call up that guy from your āworst date everā and ask to catch up!ā
āFine by me. Youāll be the one heāll be groping and hitting on the whole time.āĀ
āYeah- well-... look, just donāt cut my hair!āĀ
āWhat are you two all hush hush about?ā Dean asked curiously, eyeing you both as you entered the kitchen.Ā
āNothing,ā you both quickly replied, taking a seat at the table.Ā
Dean stared at you both for a moment before nodding curtly. āIf you say so.āĀ
Choosing not to reply, you both quietly watched as he joined the table, taking his regular seat next to you. Which, of course, meant he was currently next to Sam, and you watched in amusement as he shifted nervously while Dean got too close for his comfort.Ā
Attempting to stifle a laugh, you took a bite of the burger that was placed in front of you, only to grimace in response. āWhat is this?ā you asked through a mouthful, meeting Deanās confused gaze.Ā
āItās⦠the same veggie burger you force me to make you every time I make burgers?ā he replied, looking at you as though you lost your head.Ā
Fucking Sam, you thought bitterly. āOh, right. Right, it just- it tastes different, I donāt know,ā you stammered, sparing a quick glance across at Sam as you hurriedly took another bite.Ā
āYou two are weirder than usual tonight,ā Dean muttered to himself before eating his own food.Ā
The three of you ate in stifling silence, you and Sam both internally trying to find a way out of this mess, before Dean spoke up again and pulled you from your revere.Ā
ā[Y/N], do you want just the usual from the store? I was gonna make a run before our movie night,ā he said, turning to look beside him with a soft grin.Ā
You felt your stomach drop as Sam cleared his throat, looking between you and Dean for a moment. āMovie night?āĀ
āYeah,ā Dean said, his eyebrows furrowing in even more confusion. āLike we have every Friday?āĀ
āOh, right!ā Sam exclaimed, chuckling nervously. āI didnāt realize what day it is, I, uh- Iām actually not⦠feeling too hot, do you mind if we skip it tonight?āĀ
āYou wanna skip it?ā Dean asked quietly, making your heart shatter as you watched the hurt and disappointment flash across his face.
After the two of you made up from your falling out, you started a tradition of spending extra quality time together at least once a week. This resulted in having a movie night every Friday, no matter what. Whether that meant catching a random movie on a motel tv or settling into the Dean Cave, you both always found a way to make it. Knowing you had no choice but to skip out this time almost made you want to tell him what happened right then and there; but you didnāt.Ā
āYeah, I just⦠I think itās best if I just head to bed, you know? Iād hate for it to get worse,ā Sam said sheepishly, playing with the glass in front of him as he met Deanās gaze halfheartedly.Ā
You were glad that if you had to mistakenly swap bodies with someone, it was Sam. Given that he became your best friend from just about the moment you met, he had your behaviour down pat; you just hoped you could do the same and make this all a little easier.Ā
āWell what do you mean, whatās wrong?ā Dean asked worriedly.
āIām just feeling run down is all,ā Sam said, shrugging lightly as he stood up, taking his dishes to the sink. āMaybe we can watch something tomorrow,ā he added, turning back to Dean with a shy smile.Ā
āYeah. Yeah, sure,ā Dean agreed softly, averting his gaze to the beer in his hands. āDonāt worry about it, just get some rest.āĀ
āSure. Uh, goodnight, guys,ā Sam replied awkwardly, shooting you a pointed look before leaving.Ā
You stayed in uncomfortable silence for a moment, studying Dean as he pouted at his bottle.Ā
āYou alright?ā you asked tentatively.Ā
āYeah, just⦠first time sheās bailed on me,ā he replied indifferently, downing the rest of his beer before heading to get another one.Ā
āShe didnāt bail on you,ā you argued firmly. āItās not like she chose to go bar hopping or something, sheās sick.āĀ
āDidnāt seem so sick when she was huddled up with you,ā Dean said curtly, leaning against the counter as he sent you a cold stare.Ā
āWhatās that supposed to mean?ā you asked confusedly, shifting in your seat to look at him better.Ā
He remained silent, lips pursed as he studied you for what felt like hours, before he finally shrugged. āDoesnāt mean anything.āĀ
āThen why say it?ā you asked in irritation.Ā
He remained silent once more, simply raising the beer bottle to his lips and taking a long sip before standing upright. āNight, Sammy.āĀ
āDean-ā you tried to press, but he only ignored you as he continued across the floor, leaving the kitchen without saying another word.Ā
You sighed in exasperation, quickly cleaning everything up before heading to your room, catching almost no sleep as you dove deep into researching for a reversal to your mistake.
āYou need to shave,ā Sam said, staring at you from across the table.Ā
āWhat?ā you asked, caught off guard by the declaration.Ā
āYour beard - my beard. You need to shave it,ā he clarified. āItās been over a week.ā
āAnd?ā you asked, arching an eyebrow at him. āI doubt youāre taking care of all my housekeeping.āĀ
āThatās because Iām doing everything possible to not look at you! Like you asked!ā he hissed in return.Ā
You rolled your eyes in response, returning your attention to the book in front of you. āI have more important things on my mind than shaving your stupid facial hair - which looks fine, by the way.āĀ
Sam huffed, shifting in his seat. āYeah, well you can at least take five minutes for me!ā
āI donāt even know how to shave a beard, Sam!ā you argued, closing the book in exasperation.Ā
āThen just let me shave it for you!ā he begged, leaning over the table. āIām serious, [Y/N], you canāt just leave me all unkempt.āĀ
You met his gaze and sighed softly. āDamn, you can even pull off the puppy dog eyes with my face. Thatās a talent, Sammy.āĀ
He couldnāt help but laugh, for what felt like the first time since this whole thing happened. āYou can do it better than I can,ā he chuckled. āAt least when it comes to Dean,ā he added with a smirk.Ā
āWhat does that mean?ā you asked curiously.Ā
āNothing,ā he said, shrugging dismissively. āCāmon, letās get you- me- whatever, all taken care of before Dean gets back with dinner.āĀ
āFine,ā you begrudgingly agreed, getting up to follow him.
Before you knew it, you were standing in front of him as he sat on the bathroom counter, because: āHow else are we supposed to do this? These arms arenāt gonna reach that face comfortably without some help.ā
You fell into a comfortable silence as he did what he needed to do, the only words spoken being his occasional nagging for you to quit moving, as you were both lost in your own thoughts about the last few days.
āIām really sorry, Sammy,ā you said suddenly. You werenāt sure whether your voice was so quiet due to the shame you felt, or for the fear of breaking the silence that surrounded you.Ā
āItās not your fault,ā he said simply, reflexively.Ā
You sighed, gently shaking your head; which earned another scolding glare from him as he steadied you. āItās entirely my fault. I fucked up big time, and we both know it.āĀ
āLook, it was an accident,ā he urged, wiping away the remnants of the shave one last time. āAssigning blame isnāt going to change anything.āĀ
āWhy arenāt you mad at me? You should be furious! I practically ruined your life,ā you pressed on frantically.Ā
āOkay, thatās being dramatic,ā he chided. āYeah, this isn't an ideal situation. Though weirdly, itās also not the weirdest situation Iāve been in. And you know what? Itās not even the first time Iāve been in this situation! Remember when that kid switched bodies with me? Trust me, youāre a much better person to be switched with.āĀ
āYeah, I remember,ā you said, chuckling softly. āStill, Iām really sorry.āĀ
āI know you are,ā he said softly. āI also know youāll find a way to fix this.āĀ
āYou really believe that?ā you asked hesitantly.Ā
āYeah,ā he said with a nod. āāCause itās you, and Iāll always have faith in you. You didnāt mean for this to happen, [Y/N]. Itās okay.āĀ
āNo, it-ā you started to argue, but he cut you off.Ā
āStop,ā he urged softly. āIām not mad at you, okay? Maybe I was at first, but Iām not anymore.āĀ
āPromise?ā you asked meekly.Ā
āI promise,ā he said firmly.
āOkay,ā you relented, not fully believing him but not wanting to push the topic any further.Ā
āOkay,ā he repeated, gently wiping away one of your stray tears.Ā
āMaybe we should just tell Dean,ā you suggested hesitantly.Ā
āTell me what?ā Deanās voice suddenly cut through the room.
The two of you jumped, and you moved away from the counter as calmly as you could, knowing how the predicament you were in must look to him.
You turned to the doorway and came face to face with Dean staring intently at the two of you, his mind working into an overdrive as he tried to make sense of the scene he just walked in on.Ā
āDean, I- when did you get back?ā you asked nervously.Ā
āTell me what?ā he asked again, ignoring your question.Ā
You and Sam were both at a loss. You spent so much time trying to figure this whole thing out, yet neither of you thought to come up with some kind of story should you be cornered like this.Ā
ā[Y/N]?ā Dean asked softly, looking over to where he thought you sat on the counter.Ā
The look of hurt and confusion that flashed over his face and the waver in his voice all but sent a fresh wave of tears washing over you.Ā
Dean waited impatiently a few moments before shaking his head with a scoff. āWhatever, foodās in the kitchen.ā
Before anyone could say anything else, he turned on his heel and left, leaving you and Sam stunned in his wake.Ā
The dynamic between the three of you began shifting even more ever since that night, and you could feel Dean slipping further and further away from you with each passing day.Ā
You noticed it every time Dean would catch you and Sam huddled up and whispering low; when he would stand and stare before leaving with a quiet grumble of forgetting why he was there.Ā
You noticed it when he started spending more time in his room or tinkering with Baby in the garage; finding any and every excuse possible to spend time outside of the bunker and away from you and Sam.Ā
You and Sam tried to ignore it, promised yourselves that youād explain everything once you managed to set things right - or, if you discovered you were over your heads and couldnāt fix everything.Ā
The thing you hated most about this whole thing was that it was becoming easier and easier to lie to Dean; and the worst part about that was not knowing whether you and Sam really became more convincing, or if Dean just didnāt care enough to question you anymore.Ā
Which is exactly why you found yourself sitting in the war room, waiting for Dean to make his way through to the kitchen, in order to try and talk things out.Ā
You werenāt expecting him to appear with one duffle bag over his shoulder and another by his side - and he wasnāt expecting to see you, either.Ā
āDidnāt think youād be up,ā he declared after a moment of hesitation, continuing on his path to the stairs.Ā
āWhere the hell are you going?ā you asked hotly, standing from your seat.Ā
Dean sighed, throwing his head back in frustration as he considered his response. āDonnaās cabin.āĀ
āWhat? Why?ā you asked, eyebrows drawing together with confusion.Ā
āI canāt do it anymore,ā he said tiredly. āI just canāt, okay?āĀ
āDo what?ā you asked wearily, taking a tentative step towards him. āWhat are you talking about, Dean?ā you pressed, feeling your chest tighten with the rising nerves and fear.
āDonāt do that,ā he demanded, shaking his head. āDonāt play coy. You think I donāt know whatās been going on around here?āĀ
āWhat-... whatās been going on?ā you asked curiously. āThe hell are you talking about?ā
You werenāt sure if or when he figured out what happened, and you also werenāt sure why it would make him feel the need to leave.Ā
āIām talking about you and [Y/N]!ā he shouted, throwing his bags down and stepping towards you.Ā
āMe and [Y/N]?ā you wondered, taking a nervous step backwards.Ā
āIām not an idiot, okay?ā he spat, his jaw ticking. āYou think I havenāt noticed? Think I couldnāt figure it out?āĀ
āOkay, look,ā you began, holding out your hands defensively. āI can explain.āĀ
Dean let out a humourless laugh, running a hand over his mouth before glaring at you once more. āExplain,ā he echoed with a chuckle of disbelief. āDonāt waste your breath.ā
āWhy are you so pissed off about this?ā you asked in bewilderment. āI mean, I know we kept it from you, but we figure itād be easier for you.āĀ
āEasier for me?ā he repeated, voice raising. āWhat about this entire situation makes you think itād be easy for me?ā
āWell because it-... I mean it doesnāt really affect you, Dean,ā you replied, unsure of your own words.Ā
āIt doesnāt affect me?ā he repeated with perplexion. āOf course it affects me! You know how I feel about her!ā he exclaimed, taking yet another step forward.Ā
āWhat?ā you questioned, thrown off by his response.Ā
āDonāt āwhatā me,ā he snapped. āI want to be happy for you, Sammy. I really do, but I just-... I donāt think I ever can be.āĀ
āOkay, I-... I am so lost,ā you admitted.
āYou stole my girl, Sam!ā Dean all but screamed. āYou know that I love her. You know I was gonna tell her, and you know how much I want to spend whateverās left of my god forsaken life with her! You swore you didnāt feel that way about her. You- I mean how to hell could you do this to me, Sammy? I canāt even stand to look at you anymore.āĀ
You remained silent, staring at him in shock and confusion for what felt like hours. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you tried to formulate a response, but all that came out was a broken whisper of his name.Ā
āDonāt sweat it, Sammy. Not like I can blame you for falling for her, right? I mean hey, I sure did,ā he sassed, smiling sarcastically. āNot surprised she chose you, either. She deserves someone better than me. But Iām not sticking around anymore to see it first hand.āĀ
You watched in stunned silence as he turned to gather his bags, trying and failing to think of anything to say. What the hell were you supposed to do? The man of your dreams just admitted he felt the exact same way, and you were trapped in his brother's body. Even if you told him the truth right now, would he even believe you?Ā
āDo me one favour, though,ā Dean said from the foot of the stairs, effectively pulling you from your thoughts. āDonāt tell [Y/N]. Donāt tell her anything. Iāll think of something to tell her during the drive and call her tomorrow.āĀ
āDean-ā you finally began to protest, only to go unheard by him as he started up the steps.Ā
āLater, Sammy,ā he announced with finality, disappearing out of the bunker.Ā
āYou have got to be kidding me. I mean honestly woman, how stupid can you be?ā Rowenaās voice rang through the war room as she made her arrival known to you and Sam.
āDid you not get in enough insults over the phone?ā you asked in exasperation, not bothering to move from your spot in the library as you watched her approach.Ā Ā
āI donāt think there are enough insults for this situation, dear,ā she said sweetly, smiling innocently.Ā
āEither be helpful or leave, Rowena,ā you replied solemnly.Ā
It had been three days since Dean left, and over two weeks since the whole debacle happened. You had never been more determined to find a solution, nor had you ever felt more defeated.Ā
āAlright, fine. No need to be cranky,ā Rowena tsked, taking a seat across from you. āGo on, then. Walk me through everything.āĀ
āFine,ā you sighed, steadying yourself before recounting the situation.Ā
āLet me get this straight,ā Rowena declared, holding a hand up. āYou actually let him leave? After what he said?āĀ
āIs that seriously your only take away from this?ā you asked angrily, glaring at her.Ā
āItās not my only take away, but itās certainly a big one,ā she said calmly, accompanied by a half shrug. āThis is the spell you used?ā she asked, looking over the book you gave her during your explanation.Ā
āYeah, thatās the one,ā you confirmed sheepishly.Ā
āWell, donāt you worry. Weāll have you and Samuel right as rain in no time, dear,ā she comforted, eyes never leaving the pages in front of her.
It took another four days, but āNo timeā finally came. You were practically itching to get this all over and done with as the three of you finished setting everything up. You didnāt even care about being in your own skin again, all you cared about at this point was getting Dean back in your life. He did everything possible to avoid talking to you or Sam each time either of you tried contacting him, and you were missing him more and more with each passing hour.
āThat should do it,ā Rowena declared, snapping you back to attention. āYou know what you need to do?āĀ
āYes,ā you said quickly, urging her out of the room; the last thing you needed was for her to be around and have the spell go wrong again, resulting in all three of you being scrambled around.Ā
āDonāt rush it!ā she cautioned. āI know you want him back, but you need to take this slowly. You canāt afford another screw up!āĀ
Her statement made you pause, and you knew she was right. āGo slow, I got it,ā you confirmed, shutting her out of the room.Ā
āReady?ā Sam asked, looking at you eagerly; albeit nervous beyond belief.Ā
āMore than ever,ā you declared, taking your place at the altar.Ā
You began the spell, doing everything slowly and precisely so there was no room for error. Once you had finished, however, nothing had happened. You were just about ready to scream with all the emotions boiling inside of you when suddenly the bowl before you exploded in a cloud of yellow, sending both you and Sam flying.Ā
āOh, god,ā you groaned, holding a hand to your head as your ears rang. āThis again?ā you wondered aloud.
āDid it even work?ā Sam croaked out.
āI donāt know,ā you admitted quietly. āAre you okay?ā
āYeah,ā he said through a fit of coughs. āYou?ā
āI think so,ā you declared, sitting up. It was at that exact moment you realized what happened. āSam?ā you asked breathlessly.Ā
āYeah?ā he questioned, sitting up himself. āWait-āĀ
āIām-ā you began, unable to finish as you stared at your hands; your own hands.
āYouāreā¦.ā Sam tried, staring at you then down at his body; his very own body.
āYouāre you!ā you exclaimed in glee, pointing at him.
āYouāre you!ā he echoed, scrambling to stand.
You followed suit, taking a moment to steady yourself on your own feet. āI need to go,ā you announced, not giving him time to reply before you ran out of the room.Ā
āYouāre welcome!ā Rowena called after you, watching you run by.Ā
āThank you!ā you called back absently, hurrying out to your car.Ā
The drive took longer than ever before; at least, it felt like it did. You spent the whole time trying to think of what to say, of how to explain, but nothing seemed right. Nothing seemed like enough. All you could hope for was that everything would magically come to you once you stood before him.Ā
If he ever decided to open the goddamn door.Ā
āDammit, Dean! Open the fucking door before I break it down!ā you yelled, banging your hand against the wood for the upteenth time.Ā
You opened your mouth to yell once more, but before you could even make a sound a voice boomed out from behind you. āWhat are you doing here?āĀ
You turned with a start, coming face to face with Dean as he stood at the bottom of the steps. āI came to talk to you,ā you said simply, taking a few steps forward.Ā
He quickly averted his gaze, focusing on wiping the grease from his hands with the rag he held. āCoulda just called,ā he countered gruffly.Ā
āWhy?ā you asked, laughing dryly. āYouād just ignore my calls.āĀ
He stilled his ministrations for a moment before shrugging, glancing back up at you. āMaybe ācause we got nothing to talk about.āĀ
āDean-ā you tried to argue, though you stopped short when he rolled his eyes and turned away from you.Ā
āLook, I know all about you and Sam, okay?ā he huffed, storming across the drive and to where Baby was parked, hood still open for Dean to continue working on her.Ā Ā
āOh, for godās sake, Dean. There is no me and Sam!ā you exclaimed with a groan, quickly following behind him.Ā
āWhatever you say, sweetheart,ā he placated, picking up his previously abandoned ratchet.Ā
āJust listen to me,ā you pleaded, watching his face scrunch with a mix of frustration and concentration as he dove back into his work.Ā
āYou donāt need to explain,ā he said distractedly. āI get it. Heās good for you. I just-... you didnāt need to hide it, [Y/N/N]. I thought we were closer than that.āĀ
āWe are! Thatās not what we were hiding, just let me explain!ā you said desperately, stepping closer to him.Ā
āYou can quit the act, okay?ā he snapped, stopping what he was doing as he stood up, finally turning to look at you. āI have eyes, I saw what-āĀ
āSam and I fucking switched bodies!ā you yelled over him, effectively rendering him speechless. āAlright? When you walked in on us doing that spell the other week⦠it went wrong, Dean. Sam and I, we just-... we switched!ā
āYou⦠switched bodies?ā he asked slowly, scepticism starting to present itself on his face as he processed what you said.
āYes,ā you confirmed softly.Ā āI was Sam, Sam was me.ā
He nodded, shifting uncomfortably as he anxiously tapped his fingers on Babyās exterior. āWell, isnāt that just a great story,ā he muttered, leaning under the hood once more.Ā
āItās not a story,ā you argued desperately. āItās what happened.āĀ
āThen why not tell me?ā he challenged, not missing a beat.Ā
āBecause,ā you began lamely. āYou always have so much on your plate, Dean. We didnāt want to shove this stupid thing on you and add to your worries.āĀ
āSo you lied to me for my own good?ā he asked harshly, gaze not straying from his hands as he worked.Ā
āWe didnāt lie, we just-ā
āAvoided the truth,ā he finished for you. āSame thing, if you ask me.ā
āWe thought it was for the best,ā you admitted quietly.Ā
āOh, yeah,ā he agreed sarcastically, throwing his tools down. āSneaking around, icing me out. Definitely for my best interest, huh?āĀ
āDean, please,ā you pleaded. āI didnāt come here to fight with you.āĀ
āThen why did you come, [Y/N]?ā he shouted, shutting Babyās hood. āWhat did you think was gonna happen here?āĀ
āWell, I thought-... I just-... I wanted to clear the air,ā you stammered. āI wanted to explain.āĀ
āWell, you explained,ā he muttered, busying himself with tidying his mess.Ā
You watched him silently for a few moments, trying to think of your next move. You decided to ask the question thatās been on your mind since he left: āWere you really planning on actually telling me one day?āĀ
He let out an irritated sigh, picking up his belongings and moving around to the trunk. āWhat are you talking about?āĀ
āWere you really gonna tell me?ā you repeated, quickly taking a few steps to meet him at the trunk.Ā Ā
āTell you what?ā he huffed, irritation oozing off of him as he slammed the toolbox down.Ā
āHow you feel!ā you blurted out, taking yet another step towards him.Ā
āThe hell are you talking about?ā he questioned, feigning cluelessness. Though the way his body stiffened as he idly messed with the stuff in the trunk betrayed him; he knew what you meant.Ā Ā
āYou know exactly what Iām talking about,ā you replied softly. āWere you?āĀ
āI donāt know!ā he huffed, shutting the trunk. āMaybe,ā he added, walking away from you once more.Ā
āYou said-āĀ
āI know what I said!ā he interrupted, clearly irritated. āCan we not relive it? I donāt want to talk about this.āĀ
āWell I do!ā you argued, exasperated. āWhy the fuck else do you think Iām here, Dean?ā
āTo clear the air,ā he sneered, repeating your earlier words as he made his way back to the cabin.Ā
āTo tell you I love you!ā you shouted after him, stopping him in his tracks. āI didnāt choose Sam. How can I choose him when Iāve loved you for years? How can I choose him when my entire world stopped spinning the day you shut me out of your life all those years ago? How can I choose him when I didnāt feel like I could breathe until you finally spoke to me again? How can I choose him, when having to watch you walk away the other day was the most terrifying thing I had to do, because I didnāt know if Iād ever get you back this time? You can put us in any timeline, in any universe, or in any realm, and I will always choose you. I love you.ā
You were met with silence for entirely too long, and you watched the unsteady rise and fall of his shoulders as he kept his back to you, standing tense as ever with his head down low.Ā
āWill you just look at me, please?ā you pleaded shakily.
As soon as the words left your mouth he spun on his heel and marched towards you, closing the distance between you two in seconds. He grabbed your face in his hands, letting a moment of hesitation pass by before crashing his lips against yours. It was harsh yet delicate, slow but needy. It was gentle and all consuming. His hands strayed from your face, one sweeping to the back of your head to hold you steady while the other slipped to your waist and pulled you close. Your hands found themselves gliding up his arms, resting on the base of his neck for a moment before settling on his cheeks.Ā
When the two of you finally pulled away to catch your breath, it seemed like neither of you wanted to go too far; foreheads pressed together and noses brushing as you both giggled quietly, shy smiles on your swollen lips.Ā
You stood like that for a few minutes, basking in each other's presence in ways you never could before, until your gentle whisper cut through the silence: āPlease come home, Dean.āĀ
āMy sweet girl,ā he said quietly, planting a delicate kiss to your forehead before completely wrapping you up in his arms, holding you closer than ever. āI am home.ā
Description: You love Cassian, but the Cauldron has other plans for you.
Warnings: angst
Author's note: I wrote this angsty lil drabble ages ago and finally decided to share! I have no further explanation lol
Word Count: approx. 1000 words
Meeting Cassian feels like fate.Ā
Your eyes lock over the bar of Ritaās, and the smile he offers you is blinding.Ā And when he comes over to say hello, towering over you as his dark shoulder-length frames his handsome face, you swear your heart stops for a moment, seeing a future in his grin.Ā
Heās sweet, genuine.Ā Not afraid to ask you on a first date, or a second.Ā Or a third.
And when youāre with him, you swear he could be the very sun in the sky, his warmth radiating on you every time he smiles.Ā From the very first time his lips brush against yours, he never leaves your thoughts.Ā
Itās easy to fall in love with him.Ā To imagine a life with him.Ā
But fate has always been a fickle thing.Ā
And when you meet Azriel, Cassian eagerly introducing you to his family for the first time, it only takes a single glance for the mating bond to snap.Ā
It only takes a single glance for everything to fall apart.
Cassianās hand is warm on the small of your back, his presence steady behind you, as Azriel comes to greet you.Ā Heās slightly shorter than Cassian, slimmer.Ā Soft hazel eyes meet yoursākind, welcomingāthe perfect contrast to his stoic presence.Ā His shadows dance around your frame unbidden, brushing gently across your skin.
Itās as Azrielās gaze meets yours, his mouth opening to introduce himself to his brotherās love, the female heās heard so much about, that the mating bond snaps.Ā Your universes re-aligning themselvesāknitting your souls together.
Breath catching, youāre unable to move.Ā To speak. To think. Ā
Azrielās hazel eyes widen as he takes you in.Ā His mate.Ā His brotherās love.
And then, without a word, Azriel turns and flees into the night.Ā
For a long moment, Cassian doesnāt know whatās happened.Ā He doesnāt understand the way your jaw slackens, the shift in your scent.
He remains by your side, his brow furrowed in confusion as he tries to understand Azrielās reaction.Ā It seems cruel that heās the last one to knowāthat his adoration for you blinds him from the truth that lingers in your new scent.Ā The scent thatās now mixed with his oldest friendās.
āSweetheart, talk to me,ā Cassian says, breaking the heavy silence.Ā His brown eyes are clouded with concern.Ā Heās always been sweet with youāconsiderate and devoted.Ā But you canāt speak, canāt begin to process the reality that Azriel is your mate.Ā That Cassian isnāt.
Rhysand and Feyre stand watching, something akin to pity falling over their features.Ā You wonder if they can scent itāthe traitorous bond thatās formed between you and Azriel.Ā The connection gifted by the Cauldron itself.Ā
Finally, when you regain some ability to think, to speak, you say, āIāI think something snapped between Azriel and I.ā
In that moment, Cassianās heart stops. Or perhaps, it shatters.Ā
āA mating bond?ā He asks, and you wince.Ā Hearing it aloud feels like a sin.Ā An involuntary betrayal.
You canāt bring yourself to say it, to speak those words, so you merely nod, turning towards him.Ā Itās the pain in his eyes, the defeat etched into his strong features that has tears brimming in your eyes, a sob threatening to break free from your throat.
āCassianāā you start, but he merely shakes his head.Ā He swallows, his breath coming in sharp inhales.Ā You canāt bring yourself to meet his gaze as devastation spreads across his features.Ā
You step towards him, desperate to provide some comfort to this male you hold in your heart, but Cassian flinches, his body held taut.Ā
āCass,ā you breathe. Ā Itās a plea and an apology all in one.
But when his eyes find yours, you know that thereās nothing you can do or say to soothe away the hurt.Ā
You love him.Ā And yet, youāre not sure it can ever be enough.Ā If heāll ever be able to trust that love.Ā Not when your very soul is tied to his brother.Ā
āI need some time,ā Cassian says finally, his voice thick with emotion, and you nod.Ā
āI understand,ā you tell him, and you mean it.Ā Even as your world spins, your universe tilting on its axis, you mean it.Ā Because you love him.Ā Truly.Ā Deeply.Ā And you wish desperately that you could shield him from pain.Ā
And you know that giving him time, space, is the only mercy you can grant him.Ā But Cauldron, it hurts.Ā It hurts as you make your way home, leaving what was supposed to be a joyful night crestfallen and shell-shocked.Ā
And when you finally make it to your apartment, you can sense Azrielās presence before you see him, your entire body attuned to his presence.Ā
He stares at you wordlessly for a long moment, drinking in the sight of you, your intoxicating scent, as his shadows swarm him.Ā And as he stands there, his eyes never leaving you, Azriel keeps his scarred hands fisted tightly at his sidesāas though heās afraid he might reach out and touch you.Ā
Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Azriel opens his mouth and then closes it, as though heās forgotten what he came there to say.Ā
You hate yourself for the comfort you find in his gaze.Ā Itās as though youāve known him your entire life, as though your body is attuned to his every movement.Ā Youāve only just met and yet you swear you know the layout of his very soul.Ā
And when Azriel finally speaks, his low voice sends a shiver down your spine.
āWe have to reject the bond,ā he says, and the words pierce your broken and bruised heart.Ā His voice is quiet, held. Ā The words hurt nearly as much as the way Cassian had flinched when he found out about the bond.Ā
But you nod.Ā Ā Even as your heart breaks.
āCassian is my brother,ā Azriel continues, and every word sounds like it pains him.
āI understand.ā
āIf it werenāt for himāā Azriel says, before stopping himself, scrubbing a hand over his face.Ā He looks as lost, maybe even as devastated, as you feel.
āItās okay, Azriel,ā you tell him, and his name sounds like a prayer on your tongue.Ā āI understand.Ā I love him too.āĀ
He winces at thatāat the way the bond chafes at the thought of you loving another, but he nods, taking a shallow breath.
āFor what itās worth,ā Azriel says after a long moment, heading down the hallway away from you.Ā His voice is barely above a whisper.Ā Barely more than a breath.Ā āYouāre more beautiful than any mate I could have imagined.ā
Itās only as Azriel disappears into the night that you allow the tears to fallāmourning a love fated to end, and a love destined to never begin.