inside out, i shed my skin

Chad Harmon, twenty-four, proudly immortal, counselor at Ceres Centropolis Hospital. The original sin doesn't always have to be bad.

[pridefulharmony-blog]

Alright, so I have something to say. I’ve talked to a friend, Ghost, who used to be in this RP and have discovered that some things happened in the past of this RP, namely some not so great treatment of an autistic character, the allowance of a native slur, s*v*ge in a character bio without changing or addressing it, enjoyment/amusement borderline on glorifying or romanticizing gaslighting and abusive relationships, and a black man - the only black man, if I’m correct - portrayed as villified to an uncomfortable level. Now, I understand that this RP has mature themes and all of us are adults here and that participating in an RP is a matter of consenting to being exposed to a variety of fictional situations/themes that are mature. However, from what I’ve heard from the past member/friend, I just can’t sit with it. I know that apologies have been made and some offending bits have been rescinded, but just the knowledge doesn’t settle right with me. Nobody is perfect, I understand, and RPing on a progressive platform like Tumblr means everyone has opportunities to learn what’s okay and what’s not okay. I can personally say that RPing on Tumblr for the past several years has helped me drastically improve how I interact with inclusivity and such.

But, I’m autistic myself and even if I wasn’t, hearing about how a character was treated as the butt of a joke - and not in a friendly haha between friends who’re at that comfort level - is enough to make me uneasy. It was nice getting to meet those of you I did meet and interact with those of you I did interact with, and I hope this encourages some positive, open discussion and thought over what RPing and its atmosphere should be about and feel like. My friends who came here with me and I haven’t felt comfortable or quite as welcome as we’d hoped, and finding out about some of the things that occurred in the past just make us too uneasy to stay. Once again, I understand that things have changed since that, and I hope things continue to change in a positive direction, but this is it. I (Ryan), Mel, Thanh, Isaiah, Niki, and a few others who were going to join are stepping away from Valoir Index. Thank you for accepting those of us who did join and I hope you all have a good day, but this is goodbye.

[detant]

pridefulharmony

a week ago

Bryan did it as more of a favour to his mother than actually thinking he needed this. That there was something wrong with him, that he needed to see someone. Some brain-doctor or sorts. He knew he didn’t even need to put up with the shit he got half the time. His mother was sweet but…rude at times. So here he was, boredly leaning against the wall, waiting in the hospital–oh how he hated hospitals–and looked up when the woman called out his name. It was his turn. Pushing himself to get a move on he dragged himself int the office, eyes instantly zeroing onto the man. So this was Mr.Harmon. Not too shabby, he thought to himself and offered the man a small wave before sitting right down in the seat “ This is nice, I finally get to put a face to the guy sending me emails. I hope you liked my answers, doc” His responses had been unenthusiastic if not rude but all in good fun. He had filled the form with the least amount of effort, filling his Father’s name as ‘Deadpool’ and wherever he found space given he’d doodle Jamie’s name and draw obscure hearts and flowers around it. Essentially, Bryan had only filled in his name seriously. The mutant smiled across the table, exuding innocence.

[pridefulharmony-blog]

Pride had designed Chad’s office to be as welcoming as possible. In his time on Earth, he’d done a bit of research on things that humans like, and hospitals were generally not one of them. White walls were considered bland, eerie, and disconnected - not welcoming to patients but kept around for the use of practicality. He felt it himself just working at CCH within his first few months; everyone cared about the job they were doing (or at least played it off like they did and sometimes he couldn’t glean whether someone was lying about their feelings of commitment because they were internally confident enough to even fool him) but the whole atmosphere was... well, it was a hospital. As such, Pride made his office pop with color. The couch where patients could recline was deep green to match the two comfy armchairs sitting in front of his desk, and the walls he had personally painted a pastel baby blue. The hospital hadn’t been happy about that, but Pride had his ways of making people let him do whatever he wanted. A minimalist painting hung on the wall above the couch for a final touch. He wanted his clients to feel comfortable when seeing him.

This Bryan, though. Chad’s e-mail had received many, many prank forms in the two years he’d been working at CCH, and most had been from clients who were being forced to seek counseling but didn’t personally want it. Pride immediately figured this Bryan was one of those since nothing on the form had been filled out seriously except the name. Well, sometimes even the name. He’d looked like a fool already once when a girl told him her name was Jane Doe but had so much weight behind her presence that he’d believed her until halfway through the first session. He was still bitter about that.

Pride made it a point to greet his new clients halfway or at the door if possible, not wanting to be at his desk for a first impression because that was lazy. He got up when the receptionist had buzzed his office phone saying Bryan was heading his way. “Hey, Bryan,” he greeted, letting the other guy decide the first move. When Bryan just waved, Pride returned his wave with a short half-wave as well and smiled then sat down back behind his desk. “Ha, well,” he chuckled, “Your answers were pretty amusing.”

“I figure you don’t exactly wanna be here,” Pride said, getting directly to the point, “But, for whatever reason, here you are, so I wanna be clear as possible. I’ll be asking you some basic questions, but you answer them to your comfort level.” He motioned at the couch against the wall. “That’s for future sessions, if you do happen to come back, but, of course, that depends on how this one goes. If you don’t mind, I’ll be taking notes while we talk, but if you do mind, that’s definitely okay, too, and I promise I won’t continue. You can always change your mind about not wanting me to write something down or anything at all whenever you want. Nothing’s set in stone, and I’ll adjust accordingly since this is about you.”

He gave the same spiel, give or take, to every client who came in, and their first sessions always started off the same. “Alright, now, there’s something I always do with first-timers, just to kinda break the ice a little bit. I hope you haven’t eaten because I’d like to go downstairs-” Pride pointed to the doorway. “-to the cafeteria and grab a bite with you. I’m an employee, so, don’t worry, it’ll be covered. Does that sound good to you? If not, we can get straight into things.”

@bryanxking

[pridefulharmony-blog]

BASICS full name: pride / “chad lucas harmon” occupation: counselor at ceres centropolis hospital nickname(s): - age: - / “twenty-four” date of birth: - / “june 30th” gender identity: - preferred pronoun(s): he/him, they/them species: immortal sexual orientation: demisexual romantic orientation: demiromantic spoken language(s): english (he knows and understands all languages, existing outside of the mortal realm, but now he can only speak the one because of his limitations as chad) ethnicity: generically white since he’s a construct

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES face claim: dacre montgomery height: 5 feet 10 inches weight: 162 pounds body type: athletic hair color: light brown eye color: blue accent: generically american (once again, a construct so if you listen, his accent sounds american but not specifically from anywhere) scars: - tattoos: a cobra on his back notable physical traits: blue eyes, unruly cowlick at the front of his hairline

PHOBIAS & DISORDERS phobia(s): not exactly a phobia but more just a general discomfort and fear of what he’s caused in humanity mental disorder(s): if he was a real human, he’d have narcissistic personality disorder but since he’s an immortal frat boy, that’s just his nature physical disorder(s): having a mortal vessel

BACKGROUND hometown: - current location: ceres centropolis financial status: upper primary school: - secondary school: - undergraduate: somewhere out of town (bachelor of arts in psychology) graduate: - criminal conviction(s): -

RELATIONSHIPS father: - mother: - sibling(s): “technically” envy, greed, gluttony, lust, sloth, wrath significant other: - children: - rivals: - enemies: his own damn causing of humanity’s initial downfall, the cylverant circle and xyx’uetso

PERSONALITY horoscope: cancer hogwarts house: slytherin theme song: king - zayde wolf usual mood/expression: smiling confidently positive traits: supportive, witty, confident, reactive, friendly, brave, tenacious, firm, warm, enthusiastic negative traits: egotistical, selfish, arrogant, stubborn, entitled, self-preserving, moody, sensitive, bratty, impatient mbti: ESFJ-A enneagram: three - the achiever temperament: sanguine moral alignment: true neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: kindness element: water

STATS (left is what pride thinks it is / right is what it actually is) strength level: 10 / 5 dexterity: 10 / 7 speed: 10 / 7 stamina: 10 / 10 he’s a hard bitch to knock down the confidence of flight capability: 10 if he could / 0 intelligence: 10 / 6 fighting ability: 10 / 3 energy blast: 10 if he had other powers / 0 durability: 10 / 10

[pridefulharmony-blog]

CHAD’S PRIDE’S PLAYLIST

vinyl theatre / sleeping wolf / overcoats / imagine dragons / zayde wolf / the score / bryce fox / new politics / barns courtney / welshly arms / cemetery sun / gary clark jr. & junkie xl / wild party / rag‘n’bone man / the federal empire / misterwives / jaxson gamble / american authors

(shuffle recommended)

[pridefulharmony-blog]

[A YEAR AGO]

Pride left the door to his office open after his latest patient, Lauren, had left. She was doing well, and it showed in the lightness he felt in his chest. The girl was having trouble adjusting to coming out of her shell and socializing, but after seeing her in her seventh session with him, she’d opened up a little more about talking to her family and a friend or two here and there. Her progress made him proud, and she had ended their session ten minutes early because she said she had to get to a lunch thing with her brother, leaving him to also get to take a lunch break early.

He gathered up the notes he’d taken and slid them into the middle of his well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice and grabbed a pen from his mug, leaving his office and locking the door behind him. He’d only gone down half of the way to the elevator, opening his book to vaguely scan the page while he walked. Pride had thought that the hallway was empty. It had been when he had first looked, but it wasn’t, now, and he never looked twice. The collision happened abruptly; he caught a glimpse of someone right above his periphery but didn’t react in time, only pulling his book closer to his chest and just barely glancing up and then-

Thankfully, Pride kept a firm grasp on his book, but the notes from his session fell out from between the pages, mixing with the papers the young woman who had bumped into him had dropped. No, no, he’d bumped into her. Because he hadn’t been looking. “Oh, shit, shoot, watch-” He blinked and paused for a moment and reminded himself. “I’m sorry,” he continued, instead, bending down to help the woman clean up the mess he’d contributed to, “I wasn’t looking where I was going. My bad.”

@celcstivls

[pridefulharmony-blog]

ofvexation:

God knew the sound of prayer and suffering. So of course, they gravitated toward a great source of this world’s pain. What they didn’t understand was why no one seemed to appearing, or rather no one of consequence. Where was this reality’s God? Distressed, Alexa rose from her rest and walked to the hospital. People were screaming and running, but there were those left inside to fend for their own.

The Cylverant Circle were there in all their twisted glory. She stood, facing them in a hallway. Papers and equipment was tossed aside everywhere. She could sense the lives of people still trapped in their rooms. “You’re vile creatures.” Inside, she wept for these troubled souls. Why had their God created the Circle? “I do not agree with your actions and I believe that you should be punished for your indiscretions.”

Too many alarms were going off at once that Pride didn't even know which sounds he was hearing belonged to which alarms. The hospital was in evacuation mode, lights were flashing, and Pride was fighting to keep his head on straight. He had been in the middle of some paperwork for a new patient when all hell had broken loose and then the next few minutes had been a blur of hospital employees and patients running and screaming, some in the direction of the exits, some just in any direction, and some unable to leave their beds. Someone shouted about one of the wings being unaccounted for, so Pride took off for that one first, rushing down the stairs when the elevator didn't come. Either broken or delayed - or worse, carrying some choice visitors. He didn't stick around to find out.

Skidding around the corner, he halted, feet behind a woman just standing in the hallway. His gaze went past her to the robed members of the Cylverant Circle. They'd stopped just shy of the door leading to the wing where the unaccounted patients were; they were trapped between nothing and trouble, and Pride could feel their trembling fear. Reaching out with his mind, he found the mind of the closest patient beyond the Cylverant and those doors and pushed, instilling a brief trickle of confidence in them, not enough to make them do something brash but enough to somewhat calm their fear. It took too much more concentration to do the same for the entire wing with Chad's mortal body, and he had a whole other problem here. Slowly approaching the woman, he made sure to step in from where she'd see him in her peripheral vision as to not startle her. Something was... odd about all of this. Something was odd about her, how his mind felt a light buzz as he got closer to her, almost powerful and intoxicating like the presence of another- No, that was ridiculous.

As he came around to her side, Pride held up his hands, glancing between the Cylverant and her, both parties unmoving. "Ma'am," he said, quietly; an urgent tone of voice wouldn't be of any help right now, even if the patients' fear was making his stomach turn, "You can't be here right now. You need to get to safety. There's emergency responders outside to take everyone somewhere safe." Or, at least, he hoped so. He didn't word the obvious that, clearly, the Cylverant weren't meant to be here either, but one problem at a time.

@ofvexation

[pridefulharmony-blog]

CHAD HARMON, who strongly resembles DACRE MONTGOMERY, is more commonly known as PRIDE. They are a 24/UNKNOWN year old IMMORTAL and they have been in the city for TWO YEARS. PRIDE has been known to have PRIDE MANIPULATION. While they are not PRIDE, they are working their day job as a COUNSELOR in CERES CENTROPOLIS HOSPITAL. They are known to be CONFIDENT & SUPPORTIVE and ENTITLED & SELF-PRESERVING.

BACKGROUND

Pride the concept has always existed - small, at first, at the creation of the universe – but once creation first rebelled, Pride the being became. They fed on that original revolution, that which humans would later look back and call “the father of all sins”, the arrogance and desire for more that turns all creation against creator, and grew stronger from it.

Since time isn’t linear, Pride saw and felt all the hubris of humanity in all of its chaotic frenzy throughout their history – wars won and lost, deaths that could have been avoided, souls tainted, all because Pride had touched the heart of one and would forever spread to countless others.

It all became routine fast, so Pride decided to come into the mortal world to observe up close what humans were like at their worst. They used the energy that had been feeding them to create a mortal vessel that was the embodiment of pride. Drawing from the essence of pride in modern society, they ended up on Earth, six years ago, as Chad Harmon, a (questionably) straight, white teenager.

What Pride saw wasn’t what they expected. Humans treated each other like garbage, stepping on others to get to the top, and while they fed off of that vanity and superiority, it was chaotic and, ultimately, left a bad taste in Pride’s new mortal conscience. So Pride decided to fabricate a history for this Chad Harmon who didn’t exist and integrated himself into college. Chad got a psychology degree, and Pride got a new perspective into the minds of humans. After graduating, by random chance (or fate), Chad moved to Ceres Centropolis and got a job as a counselor at the city’s hospital, where Pride was determined to keep feeding off of humanity, but in a more positive way - with confidence, instead of arrogance.

ABILITIES

Pride can create one mortal vessel for themself out of the energy they gain from experiencing the weight of all of humanity’s pride. This vessel, whatever it looks like, will always be shaped by what Pride believes to be the peak of their embodiment, combined with what they know of societal norms and hierarchy. With Chad as their mortal vessel, Pride can be hurt, and Chad can be killed. If Pride loses their mortal vessel, they can create another one, but with the perspective changes and knowledge they have of how humanity works in relation to hubris and pride that they have now, there’s no telling what another vessel would look like since, at the time Pride came to Earth, a straight, white man was all they believed to be the pinnacle of their embodiment.

Being Pride, they can influence others to feel more sure and confident of themselves, just for a little self-esteem boost or to harmful levels of arrogance. As of right now, after what they have seen through Chad’s eyes, Pride wants to use their influence to do better, and if that keeps feeding their powers, then that’s an even greater bonus.