Better Things - A Deep Dive into the Life of Sam Fox
Better Things is not just a show; it's an intimate exploration of life’s messiness through the lens of Sam Fox, a single mother juggling her career while raising three daughters.
Context: Created by Pamela Adlon and Louis C.K., Better Things premiered on FX and ran for five seasons from 2016 to 2022. The show, starring Adlon, is semi-autobiographical, drawing from her own experiences as a mother and actress.
Expectations: As someone who’s 18/19 years old, I was specifically looking for a show with a primarily female cast that I hadn't watched before. The premise of a single mother raising three daughters intrigued me even more. Being close in age to Max, Frankie, and Duke made it easier for me to relate to their experiences, and I was curious to see how the show would depict the complexities of growing up and the dynamics of a mother-daughter relationship.
Plot Summary (Without Spoilers)
Overview: Better Things centres around Sam Fox, an actress and single mother, as she navigates the ups and downs of life in Los Angeles. The plot is less about a linear story and more about the everyday experiences of Sam and her daughters, each at different stages of growing up.
Setting & Premise: Set in LA, the series captures the chaotic yet loving environment of Sam’s home life, her professional struggles, and her relationship with her eccentric mother, Phil.
Sam Fox (Pamela Adlon): A fiercely independent woman balancing motherhood and acting.
Max, Frankie, and Duke: Her three daughters, each with their own quirks and challenges.
Phil (Celia Imrie): Sam’s free-spirited British mother, who lives next door.
Storytelling & Script: The narrative structure of Better Things is unconventional, often feeling more like a series of vignettes than a traditional plot-driven story. This approach perfectly mirrors the unpredictability of real life. The dialogue is sharp, witty, and deeply authentic, capturing the nuances of family dynamics.
Direction: Pamela Adlon, who also directs many episodes, brings a personal touch to the show. Her direction is intimate and often unfiltered, allowing moments to unfold naturally. Adlon’s ability to capture the mundane yet meaningful aspects of life is where Better Things truly shines.
Performances: Adlon’s portrayal of Sam is nothing short of remarkable. She embodies the role with a blend of toughness and vulnerability that feels incredibly real. The supporting cast, particularly Celia Imrie as Phil and the young actresses playing her daughters, delivers strong performances that add depth and texture to the show.
Cinematography & Visuals: The visual style of Better Things is understated yet effective. The camera work often feels close and personal, which complements the show's intimate tone. The use of natural lighting and real-life settings enhances the authenticity of the series.
Sound & Music: The soundtrack is eclectic, featuring a mix of contemporary and classic tracks that perfectly match the tone of each episode. The use of music is subtle but impactful, often amplifying the emotional weight of a scene.
Themes & Messages (Spoilers)
A unique and recurring theme in Better Things is the presence of the supernatural, magic, and superstition. The show integrates these elements in a way that adds depth to the characters and their experiences:
Beanie Boy Statue: At the top of their staircase, the Beanie Boy statue serves as a ritualistic object that each character touches before going upstairs or downstairs. This statue, which symbolises a connection to the supernatural, is smashed in Season 5 but is replaced by a new one in the finale, underscoring its continued significance.
Ghosts & Illusions: Duke, in particular, has a connection to the supernatural. She frequently sees ghosts, including the spirit of her deceased grandfather, whom she never met. This supernatural thread is further emphasised by Sam, who also experiences illusions of her father talking to her. The show portrays these experiences with a blend of reverence and casual acceptance, reflecting the family's belief in the supernatural.
Tarot Readings: Duke uses tarot readings as a means of communicating with spirits, adding another layer to the show's exploration of magic and superstition. This practice is portrayed as an integral part of her character and her relationship with the unseen world.
Family Beliefs: All the key female characters in Better Things share a belief in the supernatural, which influences their actions and interactions. This collective belief in the mystical and magical aspects of life adds an intriguing layer to their personal and familial dynamics.
At its core, Better Things is a meditation on motherhood and the struggle to maintain a sense of self while caring for others. It tackles themes like ageing, the pressure of societal expectations, and the joys and frustrations of raising children.
One of the aspects I thoroughly enjoyed about Better Things is its artistic implementation. The creative nature of Sam, who is not only an actress but also skilled in playing the piano and singing, permeates through to her daughters. Max excels in photography and dabbles in ceramics, ballet, and piano. Frankie explores singing, piano, and some emotive acting, while Duke delves into ballet, piano, and shows promise in writing and poetry. The artistic inclinations of each daughter are clearly influenced by Sam, highlighting how her passion for the arts is an integral part of their upbringing. This artistic thread running through the family adds a rich layer to their characters and emphasises the role of creativity in self-expression and coping with life’s challenges.
Artistic Spaces & Costuming
The show beautifully showcases the importance of artistic expression through the design of the family’s living spaces. Each daughter’s room is surrounded by art and colour, reflecting their unique personalities and artistic interests. The rest of the house is vibrant and full of creative energy, allowing each female character to express herself freely. The costuming of the daughters also plays a significant role in defining their characters. Max’s outfits are more revealing, reflecting her teenage rebellion and exploration of identity. Frankie’s wardrobe is nerdy and conservative, aligning with her introspective and thoughtful nature. Duke’s clothing is childish yet stylish, capturing her youthful exuberance and emerging sense of self. I found myself taking inspiration from the varied and realistic costume choices, as they add depth to each character and ground them in the realities of growing up.
Sam's costuming sharply contrasts with that of the other characters in the show, particularly her family, who tend to dress in flamboyant, vibrant outfits. In contrast, Sam adopts a practical, understated style typical of a busy mom, often favouring toned-down or muted colours. However, she accessorises with boho-style rings, necklaces, and boots, which add a personal touch to her look. The idea behind Sam's less attention-grabbing clothing could be her desire to avoid being recognized in public. Although she rose to fame at a young age, her career has since declined, but she still occasionally receives attention from strangers. By maintaining a more subdued style, she makes herself less recognizable. She often wears sunglasses, further enhancing her anonymity
The show intricately explores the theme of growing up, particularly through the lens of Sam’s daughters:
Seasons 1-3: Focus on Max's development into adulthood, capturing the turbulent journey from adolescence to early adulthood.
Seasons 2-4: Highlight Frankie's evolution as they start to care more about those around them, learning to respect and appreciate others more.
Seasons 4-5: Center on Duke, at the cusp of 13, where the onset of puberty brings mood swings and behaviours that echo the earlier experiences of Max and Frankie.
The show portrays the challenges and changes that come with each daughter's growth, reflecting the cyclical nature of parenting through different stages.
Sam has a unique parenting style with each of her daughters.
Max: the eldest daughter, is moody, dramatic, and rebellious, often clashing with Sam over various issues. These include Sam’s permissive attitude towards smoking marijuana, allowing a keg of beer at Max’s graduation party when she was only 17 or 18, and the financial burdens Sam faces, such as supporting her family and paying alimony to Xander. While Sam does scold and argue with Max, she ultimately understands that Max is a teenager finding her way. Sam doesn’t get overly angry when Max defies her, recognizing that this rebellion is part of Max’s journey towards independence. When Max leaves for college in Chicago, their relationship reaches a high point as Max begins to mature. However, this period of harmony is short-lived. After just one semester, Max moves back home, choosing to pursue her passion for photography while working a part-time job and living rent-free at Sam’s house. As Max starts working, she begins to see eye-to-eye with Sam on many things, finally understanding the importance of earning money and the challenges her mother faces. This newfound appreciation deepens after Max’s father abandons her before graduation, making her realise that Sam is the only parental figure she truly needs. In the final season, their relationship gains a new layer of complexity when Max has an abortion. Max hides this from Sam for much of the season while taking on more adult responsibilities, such as trying to rent an apartment and guiding Duke through her mood swings and bad behaviour. When Max tells Sam that she’s staying in London, it signifies to Sam that Max has finally grown into an adult capable of making her own decisions, though Sam will always worry about her. Sam never imposes the stereotypical expectations of being the eldest daughter onto Max. Instead, she allows Max to be authentically herself, without the pressure to care for her younger siblings or serve as a role model.
Frankie: Sam’s relationship with Frankie, her middle child, is far more complex. Frankie is strong-willed, rude, and unfiltered, often overwhelming Sam with her bluntness. As the genius of the family, Frankie skipped grades and graduated two years early—an achievement Sam finds endearing, though Frankie sees it as no big deal. Frankie often educates Sam on social, cultural, and political matters, which can sometimes overwhelm or even offend her mother. While Sam usually refrains from scolding Frankie for speaking her mind, others—like Phil, Sam’s friends, and even some strangers—suggest that Frankie should be more considerate when addressing her mother. This external criticism adds to Frankie’s insecurities. At the end of Season 3, Frankie runs away from home without any apparent reason, leaving Sam worried sick. Despite her concern, Sam chooses to give Frankie the freedom to make her own choices, understanding that pushing her too hard might drive her away even further. Frankie partially realises that her actions were wrong, but she often struggles with apologising for her behaviour. As Frankie matures, she begins to defend Sam against critics, including Max and Duke. She also starts guiding Duke, as their closer age gap allows for a stronger bond than she shares with Max. Among the three daughters, Frankie is the one who tries the hardest to connect with their father, possibly due to her strained relationship with Max or her naturally rebellious nature. Although she often forgives her dad for his mistakes, she always sides with her mom. After graduation, Frankie finds herself unsure of her next steps, symbolising her development from a stern 13-year-old who seemed sure of her path to a confused 16-year-old who is learning that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
Duke: Sam’s relationship with Duke, her youngest daughter, is the most positive among the three, largely because Duke hasn’t yet reached puberty. Sam often refers to Duke as the “favourite child” due to her kind, caring, and open nature—not just towards Sam, but to everyone she meets. While Duke occasionally argues with her sisters, particularly Frankie, Sam usually sides with her, likely due to Duke’s age, which sometimes causes Frankie to feel jealous. Duke shares Sam’s passion for animals and is often seen with their pets more than her sisters. She also believes in spirits and claims to see the ghost of her grandfather, whom she never met, mirroring Sam’s own experiences with illusions of her father. However, Duke has a hidden rude side, often cursing and insulting others while maintaining a perfect image in front of her mom. Duke’s transition into puberty, which begins in Season 5, is brief but dramatic. She starts to resemble a younger Max, yet Duke struggles with bad mental health and self-image issues. She develops a vaping habit, which others frequently scold her for, and her once cheerful demeanour becomes more negative and depressive, leading to further isolation. This stark contrast from the Duke of previous seasons reflects the turmoil she’s experiencing. In the final season, Sam and Duke’s relationship is less prominently featured, partly due to the earlier focus on it and Duke’s growing desire for independence. However, in the last two episodes, Duke begins to regain some clarity and direction during their time in London, reconnecting with her past interests and appreciating the world more than she did before.`
Sam’s journey is one of empowerment, as she learns to navigate the challenges of life on her own terms.
The show also touches on themes of LGBTQ+ identity, particularly through characters and subplots that explore sexual orientation and gender identity. This exploration adds depth to the narrative, reflecting broader societal conversations about identity and acceptance.
Sexual and Racial Identity
Better Things addresses issues of sexual and racial identity, using its characters and storylines to delve into the complexities of these themes. The portrayal of these aspects is nuanced and contributes to the show’s exploration of personal and social identity.
Culture and Mental Health
The show provides a candid look at mental health, incorporating it into the everyday struggles of its characters. Cultural influences also play a role, enriching the narrative with diverse perspectives and experiences.
Character Analysis: Phil Fox
Phil's Charm and Complexity
Phil Fox, Sam's eccentric mother, is a deeply loved character due to her charm, humor, and talkative persona. Despite her endearing qualities, she embodies the type of mother that many daughters would find challenging, as illustrated by her complex relationship with Sam. Over the seasons, as Phil’s health declines, Sam’s role shifts to becoming her primary caregiver, which complicates their dynamic but also leads to a deeper mutual respect.
Phil's Background and Relationships
Phil's relationship with Sam's late father, who was a comedian and influenced Sam’s acting career, adds depth to her character. Phil married Sam’s father for his humour, and while it's suggested that she may have had affairs during their marriage, these details remain ambiguous. Phil seldom reminisces about her husband unless prompted, often criticising his family, likely due to her estrangement from her own Liverpool-based family after marrying a Jewish man in America. This background contributes to her unconscious bias against her late husband's Jewish side of the family and a greater respect for her British roots.
Role as a Grandparent and Critic
Phil’s role as a grandmother includes moments where she scolds her grandchildren for their perceived lack of respect toward Sam. Her criticisms extend to her late husband, Xander, whom she derides as a "deadbeat" and blames Sam for staying with and having children with him. This critical perspective highlights Phil’s often conflicting attitudes towards family and relationships.
In Season 2, Episode "Phil," Phil acknowledges Sam’s efforts by expressing her pride and gratitude, especially after Phil’s poor memory leads to an accident. This episode marks a poignant moment where Phil’s vulnerabilities are laid bare, and Sam’s care for her mother is underscored. Phil’s acknowledgment of Sam’s support and her subsequent accident, which leads her to seek comfort in a hospital, illustrate the complexity of their relationship and Phil’s need for security and validation.
Character Flaws & Hypocrisy
A significant and subtle flaw in Sam’s character is her ongoing affair with a married man, which runs from Season 1 to Season 3. This relationship starkly contrasts with her strong advocacy for her female friends to leave their unsatisfactory marriages. Her past marriage to Xander, which ended in failure and resulted in her becoming a single mother, informs her stance on marriage, yet her actions reveal a troubling hypocrisy.
Despite being a vocal critic of unhappy marriages and advocating for women to leave their husbands, Sam's own behaviour contradicts this. She maintains an affair with a married man without regard for his wife, whom she does not know. This duplicity becomes more apparent when Sam meets the man's wife, Laney, in Season 4, Episode "New Orleans." The encounter is tense and showcases Laney’s suspicion about Sam and her husband’s relationship.
During this episode, Sam and the man walk through the streets of New Orleans while discussing his departure from his wife. His justification—that she knew he didn’t want to be there—allows Sam to accept the situation without apparent guilt. The scene, in which they smoke cigarettes together, further symbolises Sam’s toxic behaviour and her failure to address her own moral inconsistencies.
Sam’s affair and her reactions to it underscore her inner conflict and hypocrisy. While she champions women’s independence and criticises flawed marriages, her involvement in a secretive and morally questionable relationship highlights a significant personal contradiction. This hypocrisy adds complexity to her character, making her a flawed yet deeply human protagonist.
Season 5: Episode "England"
In Season 5, Episode "England," the Fox family travels to Liverpool, where Phil grew up. Phil reconnects with her old friend Ben and begins working in his pub, suggesting a close but ambiguously defined relationship. The nature of their bond—whether romantic or platonic—is left unclear, but their deep connection is evident. Meanwhile, Max chooses to rent a spare room in her cousin's flat in London, symbolising her search for independence and a new start.
Max's Abortion and Transition
At the beginning of Season 5, Max undergoes an abortion, a decision that profoundly affects her sense of direction. Her move to London represents a physical and emotional escape from her past, reflecting her state of being lost and her desire to forge a new path.
Sam is visibly shocked by Max and Phil's decisions. While she ultimately accepts their choices, she also warns them about the implications of their new paths. Sam’s acceptance of their decisions, despite her initial shock, underscores her evolving understanding of her daughters' needs and the complexities of their individual journeys.
There are many other aspects of Better Things worth discussing, including Sam’s complex relationship with her brother, the differing treatment of Sam and her brother by Phil, Sam’s lingering sexual feelings towards women
Season 1: My favourite episode from Season 1 is "Future Fever." This episode brilliantly captures the anxieties and uncertainties of looking forward to what the future holds, something I deeply relate to at my age.
Season 2: Season 2 is packed with standout episodes. "September," "Phil," "Eulogy," "Arnold Hall," "White Rock," and "Graduation" each left a significant impact on me, particularly with how they delve into family bonds, loss, and personal growth.
Season 3: "The Unknown" from Season 3 is a personal favourite. The way it explores the concept of the unknown in both literal and metaphorical senses is profound and moving.
Season 4: Season 4 offers several favourites: "She’s Fifty," "DNA," "New Orleans," "High Man Bye Man," "Fathers Day," and "Batcenera." Each episode in this season highlights crucial moments in Sam’s life and the lives of her daughters, making them incredibly memorable.
Season 5: The final season has gems like "Fuck Anatoly's Mom," "Ephemera," "The World is Mean Right Now," "England," and "We Are Not Alone." These episodes beautifully wrap up the series, with poignant reflections on life, legacy, and the ties that bind us.
Watching as an 18/19-Year-Old: Watching Better Things as an 18, nearly 19-year-old was a reflective experience. At the start of the series, Max (Mikey Madison) is 15, Frankie (Hannah Alligood) is 11, and Duke (Olivia Edward) is 8. Being older than each character in Season 1 allowed me to see my younger self in their struggles and growth. By the end of the show, each character has aged by five years, mirroring my own transition into adulthood. This passage of time made me more appreciative of the subtleties of growing up and the challenges of navigating relationships with family, especially in light of Sam’s complex and flawed character.
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