I love crazy.

Convincing, cold and calculating. Hans is a devilish nobleman with a hunger for power, admiration and popularity.

[prinsehans]

“It is everything I hate…But maybe it won’t be awful.” She shrugged, a smirk spreading on her face. “Or maybe I’m setting you up for payback later.”

“Whatever. Just as long as people aren’t being bought.”

“I knew it couldn’t be that straightforward. Still, sitting through various forms of torture i.e men in tights with underpants over the top of them will be completely worth it to see you in a nice dress like something from Pretty Woman.” Hans laughed imagining it, she was obviously classier and much prettier than Julia Roberts character but the transition element to a lady was still the same. Pulling out his phone, hans flicked through the calendar trying to find a fallow day before next Friday for her make-over. “Tuesday. I’ll ring a driver and I’ll book appointments. Make sure that day is free for you.” Hans said finally, locking his iPhone again and putting it in his pocket.

[prinsehans]

“Old sport? How old are you, sixty?” Kristoff puts his hands in his pockets and stares at him, slightly puzzled. “Please tell me your outfit doesn’t cost more than your phone.”

“Sorry I was raised by people above minim wage.” Hans laughed. “Anyway I was being endearing, it wasn’t meant to sound serious.” Looking down at his outfit Hans tried to mentally add up a total, Ralph Lauren jeans, Lacoste jumper, Alexander McQueen shoes, Saint Laurent shirt...”Yes it most likely does.”

[prinsehans]

“Oh it’s you. Good to know you are as charming as ever. I mean, I could go on forever about the ice in Alaska but just because I like you so much, I’ll do it over lunch. I’d give you my number, but cellar devices are kind of a waste of time, and my phone is only for Anna or Elsa to contact me,” he gives him a smirk. “But if you really want to go on about how much you missed me, please do. My ego can handle it.”

“Wait a minute Kristoff, hang on a second....” Digging into the pocket of his Ralph Lauren jeans, Hans produced his iPhone and began scrolling through it while Kristoff paused in confusion. “Yeah I looked through all my contacts, couldn’t find anyone who gave a toss.” Locking it again he there it back into his pocket, and frowned. “Sorry about that old sport.”

[prinsehans]

“If I argued, you would find some way to trick me into going.” She sighed, holding out her hand. “This just better not turn out to be a slave auction like the last charity event you got me to go to.”

“Fawn it all feels a bit too easy. I don’t understand. I am paying for you to get a dress, make-up and hair done. Then taking you to a place full or rich people. Why are you not saying no? It is literally everything you burn your bra for.”

“Er that was an auction for dates not for slaves and no like I said it’s animals,  or kids or something.”

[kristoff-djokovic-blog]

“Alaska was fun, but I had to come back eventually,” Krisotff says with a dull laugh. “I mean, why would I stay in solitude, in the cold, when I could come back to the oh-so warm and welcoming school that is Wishing Well High.”

[prinsehans]

“That story was so interesting Kristoff. Please tell it again. I literally don’t feel like I felt the full benefit of that the first time. Honestly like please, and while you’re there hand me a pen and paper so I can write it down and tell it to Marcus Zazu later on for the Wishing Well Morning Report. Honestly.”

[prinsehans]

“Yours and everyone else but me apparently.” She sighed, watching him carefully for the next few moments. The way he was lookin at her, the tell-tale look in his eye…Oh no. “No way. Whatever you want me to do, the answer is no.” If she didn’t though, he’d probably never let her hear the end of it. If she went…maybe the topic could die off after a while.

“Okay…deal.”

“That was easy...” Hans trailed off. “I want writing and a handshake.”

[prinsehans]

“I am not, how dare you?! I’m plenty of fun.”

“Hey, the classics are great. Well, most of them. But comics are fun. I think you’d like them more then you expect if you have them a shot. There’s some cool rich guys in there. Lot like you, honestly.”

“Oh of course, when you’re one champagne shy of falling over. Drunk Fawn is my favourite Fawn and I have no issues in saying that.” Eyeing the little brunette, Hans smirked to himself already concocting a hilarious scenario in his head. He knew she had already figured him out before he had spoken, the delighted twinkle in his eyes that she knew so well being too difficult for him to hide. “I have been invited to a benefit actually, it’s next week, cats, dogs or kids or something I don’t know. You should come and be my date. I’ll take you to Fashion Avenue, we’ll get you a dress, get your hair done and then we can give some of my money to a good cause. That’s the part you’ll enjoy probably. The money and the animals or the kids, not the dress, you’re not like most girls.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll watch one of these dreadful things if you come with me. Deal?”

[prinsehans]

“Fine, fine. Just take all the fun out of this why don’t you.”

“Daredevil? Yes! Like three times now. It’s just so good! I want a petition for all Marvel adaptations to be Netflix series if they can all be like that!”

“Honey are joking me? You’re the fun sucker, you’re like a leech, a leech of fun.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I literally just said that so we weren’t stood in silence. I don’t watch and or read comic books or comic book related things, I prefer classic stuff.”

[prinsehans]

“Am not. Pretty sure that’s you.”

“Not a lot. Reading comics, watching Netflix, doing research, being outside. All the usual.”

“Ouch Fawn, can we maybe drop what we are doing so you can take me to treat my burns. I’m sure Presbyterian has an emergency bit.”

“That’s cool. Have you seen that Devil one everyone keeps bashing on about?”

[prinsehans]

“You don’t have to apologize, it was just a question,”

“I didn’t want to offend you though. It’s certainly very overplayed, American music is very much overplayed though, I mean I have found anyway.”

[prinsehans]

“I would never call anyone ‘Fifty Shades of Bae’ and most definitely not you. Can’t speak for the others though. Maybe Ari has finally lost her mind and actually thinks that, who knows.”

“To quote the Americans, you suck. You’re boring and you suck.”

“What have you been up to anyway Fawny, anything good, anything fun, anything interesting?”

[prinsehans]

“Isn’t anyone tired of that song yet?”

“Probably. It just seemed to much of a good joke to pass up. My apologies my lady.”

[prinsehans]

“Yeah, right.” She retorted, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes at him. “I don’t think either of is even noticed you were gone. And my IQ is fine, thank you very much.” Another eye roll and a shake of her head were all the response she gave him once again, not even acknowledging the look in his face further. “And you have no fangirls.”

“Whhhhhhatttevvvvvvvveeeerrrrr. I know you missed me and yes I do. Anna thinks I’m fifty shades of bae, you think I’m fifty shades of bae, Ariana obviously does, I mean Elsa does as well she’s just living in denial. Everyone loves the Hans.”

[atouchofice]

“It’s too hot,”

[prinsehans]

“Hot damn. Call the police and the fireman, I’m too hot! Hot damn. Make a dragon wanna retire man, I’m too hot! Hot damn!”

[prinsehans]

“Oh, yes. Because you aren’t constantly acting like the exact opposite if what you’re saying.” She smirked, raising an eyebrow at him. “Right. And with that statement, Point: Fawn. And…thanks, I guess.”

“It was a joke genius.” Hans said through a smirk, rolling his eyes. “God your IQ actually has dropped without me being here, you poor child. Being forced to speak to peasants and squirrels has made you not able to detect sarcasm and jokes. I mean it’s only natural though, you must have spent a lot of time worrying about me, morning my loss and holding vigils with Persil.” Smiling at her he winked. “I do love my fangirls.”

[prinsehans]

“Hey, smelling nice is fine, pink is okay, and I do wear shorts in the summer that are, well, short. You’d just love to see me in something short and revealing, wouldn’t you? And hey, someone has to be out there protecting them if no one else will.”

Gasping loudly, Hans faked surprise. “My goodness what? Fawn Wilder, are you insinuating that I, Hans Boulting-Casterly of the Southern Isles objectify women? What even are you, you monster. I would never objectify women.” Picking up his drink he took a long sip of it. “Your arse looks fantastic in those jeans by the way.”

[prinsehans]

“Oh, shut up, Richie Rich! I don’t actually hate pink. Not like I do dresses. I just don’t buy much of it…blame Tink for this one.”

“I honestly just thought you repelled anything girly be that pink, short, cleavage showing or smelt of anything remotely nice. You know considering you were raised by wolves and thus want to save all the fleabags and pond dwellers you can find.”