𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 — cowgirl!paige bueckers x cowgirl!reader
ꨄ — summary: paige's childhood sweetheart comes back to her
ꨄ — warnings: seven year time skip, yearning, paige #needsthat, and anything else? i do not know
ꨄ — authors note: lol the first part is based yes, the first part is inspired by Meredith Grey (my queen who should’ve been a neurosurgeon 💔)
soulmated so hard reader couldn’t return to their town ever again, also i was gonna make reader engaged but then i thought that would be too much angst
there was gonna be a smut scene and a scene after that of them properly talking but then i thought “hm, no” so no, sorry
also this is not edited and i hate writing part twos cause i feel like there’s so much pressure but whatever, enjoy
Coming back to Montana this time around seemed final. Like you weren't going back to New York. And in some ways, you weren't.
New York and Harvard were good to you. You graduated from Harvard with your bachelor's degree, then applied to HMS—Harvard Medical School—you got in and graduated with your doctorate, then headed to New York to complete your surgical residency program at Mount Sinai Hospital.
You completed your residency program last year, passing your boards and now you were officially an attending general surgeon.
Your father was so proud of you. For everything. Even if he had hoped you would travel the world and not stick yourself into school, he was just happy if you were happy.
And, you ended up in New York, so he couldn't be too upset.
Your father loved New York, he visited as much as he could when you moved there, mostly because he wanted to see everything New York had to offer, but also because you had refused to go back to Montana.
You had made a point to not go back to Montana ever again after the catastrophe that your friends had dramatically dubbed, ‘The Heartbreak of 2019’. Your father understood and never pressured you into coming back, in fact, he was kind of glad you wouldn't come home, it gave him an excuse to get outta town and see what else was out there aside from cows and horses and dumbass wranglers.
But now, you had no choice but to return home.
Your father had a heart attack.
He had returned home only days ago after visiting you in New York, and from what you could tell he was as healthy as a horse, making a point to prance around your kitchen while making you breakfast and slow dance with you in the living room when he visited.
Her father, Bob, had been the one to find him. Apparently, from what Bob told you, your father hadn't shown up for their weekly beer when Bob went over to yell at him for being late, he found your father passed out in the living room. Bob rushed him to the hospital and the doctors told him your father had a heart attack.
You just about had a heart attack when you found out. You called your friends over to help you pack, and they busied themselves with helping around the house.
They cleaned your house, booked your flights, helped pack your bags, sent an email to your job about you needing to go out of town, and all of you came to a collective agreement that Alex should go with you because everyone agreed he was best fitted to help with the situation.
As you sat beside a snoring Alex on the flight, you couldn’t help but feel nauseous. This was the first time you were coming back to Montana. Even if it was only to make sure your father was okay, you couldn't help but think about Paige.
Is she okay? Is she still working for her father? Is she in a relationship? Is she married? Did she have kids? Is she happy? Did she even still live in Montana?
Five hours later you were touching down at the airport. Your fathers ranch hand, Ryan, was waiting for you so that he could take the both of you to the house, where you would drop your stuff off, then to the hospital to see your father. Ryan smiled half-heartedly and gave you a tight hug, being as close to your father as he was, Ryan was definitely worried about your father too.
The drive to the ranch was filled with chatter, maybe it was Ryan's way of distracting himself so that he didn't stress too much, but Ryan asked a lot of questions. He asked about New York, and about your job, and teased you relentlessly when you told him you were a surgeon—not that he didn’t know already, your father had a habit of bragging to everyone that you were a big shot surgeon in New York.
Ryan drove up the driveway and dirt kicked up as the truck went by. You passed the bunkhouse and Ryan’s house, and you couldn’t help but stare. Your father told you all the time whenever he made changes with the ranch, but staring at it in real life was a different feeling.
When you got to the house, Ryan and Alex unloaded the bags and you stood at the bottom of the steps staring up at the house.
It had been seven years since you last saw this house. Staring up at the house, you were suddenly hit with the memories of what happened seven years ago. The argument. The tears. The anger. And Paige walking out.
The both of you had said some cruel words to each other the last time you were together, so you wouldn’t say you would be thrilled if you were to see her. If she even lived in Montana anymore.
You shook your head, wiping the memory away and walked up the steps.
You opened the front door, clutching the doorknob and paused. Everything looked so different and yet still the same.
You walked the rest of the way in, popping your head into rooms as you went, just to see if your dad changed anything.
Alex and Ryan followed behind you and you guided Alex to a guest room and let him get situated.
Then you reached your room.
As you opened the door and laid eyes on your room, you were suddenly transported back to seven years ago when you left. The month you left, you cleaned out your room and it still looked as untouched as the day you left.
Childhood trinkets, pictures, and random things you collected when you were younger were left behind, almost frozen in time.
Your eyes surveyed the room taking everything in, then your eyes caught something.
Sitting on your desk. Just as untouched as everything else. Looking the same as it did all those years ago.
You walked to your desk and just as your fingers grazed the side of her hat, you heard a voice behind you.
“Looks the same, huh?” Ryan asked. He stood in the door, staring around the room with the same expression you had.
“Your dad didn’t change anything. He said he wanted it to be the same for when you came back home.” Ryan glanced at you, “Guess he knew you would come back eventually.”
You laughed, though it sounded more like a sigh, and hummed, “Guess he did.”
It was quiet for a minute. Ryan let you take the room in one more time before he said, “You wanna unpack or head to the hospital?”
“I’ll unpack later. Let’s go.”
You walked through the hospital and Ryan directed you to your fathers room. You walked in to find your father sitting up, watching TV. There was no one else in there which made you let out a sigh of relief.
Your father lit up when he saw you, and he laughed, “If a heart attack was all I needed to get you to come home, I would've had one years ago,”
You hit him on the arm, being careful of the lines and wires connected to him, “That is not funny,” and you glared at your father, “And don't forget, you were the one who wanted me to leave, so don't act otherwise.”
You took in what your father looked like, and he seemed to be in good condition.
You reached out and brought your father into a hug, which was instantly reciprocated, and you mumbled into his shoulder, “You almost gave me a heart attack. Don't do that again,”
Then you hit him on the shoulder again cause you knew he was going to make a joke about him actually having a heart attack. You hugged your father closer, then leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, “Please don't do that again, dad. I can't lose you.”
Your father rubbed your back letting you hug him for as long as you needed, “It’s not exactly something I can control, sweetheart, but I’ll try,”
You giggled, “That’s all I’m asking for, dad.”
Then you turned around to find Ryan and Alex lurking in the door, you turned back to your dad, “D’you remember Alex?”
“Of course I remember Alex,” Your father waved his hand for Alex to continue to walk in, “How you been? How's that little boy with uh…remind me again?”
Alex smiled, “Simon. The one with the liver thing…yeah, he's in recovery now.”
Your father clicked his fingers, “That's the one. Simon…funny boy, glad to hear he's getting better.”
The last time your father came to visit, he came to the hospital with you and met one of Alex’s patients, Simon.
Simon had a ruptured liver cyst and your father spent quite a lot of time hanging out with him till your father had to go home.
The three of you—well four when Ryan came inside—stayed and talked for a while. Your father asked you and Alex about work, and if you were going to visit more often now that you've come back—a question that you avoided answering—then you asked Ryan about the ranch. You asked about what the wranglers were doing and if everything was smooth sailing after the storm last week.
Ryan said Bob and someone else came over to help but he didn't say who and you had a guess on who it was but judging by the look your father gave Ryan when he mentioned it, you had a feeling you didn't want to know.
Ryan and Alex went off to find something to eat as it was coming into the afternoon and neither of you had eaten all day, plus your father was complaining about the hospital food, so he sent them off to find him something.
It was quiet once they left, your fathers attention went back to the TV and you moved to the seat in the corner where the rolling table was placed. You started at the table in curiosity, you were bored waiting for Ryan and Alex to come back, so you noised around in your fathers stuff.
The table had some papers, a pen, your fathers laptop and a folded newspaper.
You looked through the papers and quickly moved on because it was work stuff for the ranch, then you picked up the newspaper. You looked at your dad and laughed, “They still make these?”
Your father didn't answer, not that you cared your attention was solely on reading through the news.
As you read through it, your hand holding the back up moved and the bottom piece of the newspaper fell down.
Your eyes instantly snagged on a picture of Paige.
Standing in front of a house.
“ “I’m gonna build a big ol’ barn for my workshop,” Paige inhaled the smell of your perfume and smiled, then she placed a kiss on your neck, then she whispered, “What do you want?”
Paige’s head came up from your neck and she smiled shyly at you, “Yeah, you. What do you want?”
You grinned and leaned up pushing Paige onto her back. You hovered over her, your hands on her chest and said, “I want a white house, with blue shutters. And a room at the back so I can see the mountains.”
Paige nodded, her smile getting bigger, “Anything else?”
You laughed, “Yes. I want a big ‘ol porch that wraps around the entire house. So we can drink tea and watch the sun go down.”
Paige just stared at you. God, she was so in love.
“I can do that.” She said, nodding.
You leaned down, brushing your lips over hers, “You promise?”
Paige connected your lips and brought you into a deep kiss, separating only to say, “I promise.” ”
White house. Blue shutters. And a big porch.
You were knocked out of the memory by the sound of your fathers voice, “125 Paradise Trail,”
“What?” You mumbled looking back to your father. He was staring at you with a knowing look on his face and he said it again, “125 Paradise Trail,”
That was Paige's family's address. You were familiar with it, obviously as you had basically grown up there.
Your father sighed in exhaustion at your cluelessness, “There's the main dirt road that leads to their house and two turn offs, one to their ranch, and the other one, the first one, leads to that,” he pointed to the newspaper, “house.”
Your lips were parted and you kept looking between your father and the picture.
You didn't know what your father wanted you to do with that information, it wasn't like you could just go back to Paige. This wasn't some fairytale, this was real life.
Looking back at your father, he sat up staring at you with a newfound fire in his eyes. “Go.” He said firmly.
You sighed, “I can’t, dad–”
“I made a mistake all those years ago, sweetheart.”
You closed your eyes and sighed, “What are you talking about, dad?”
“Look at me, sweetheart.” Your head lifted and you stared back at your father and he sighed, “I always felt like I trapped your mother. Like I kept her from her potential. Kept her from doing something good, from becoming someone great. And when she died I promised myself I wouldn't do that to you. I promised myself that I would encourage you to go out into the world, and be someone. Be someone who matters. Do something that matters.”
Tears slowly filled your eyes as your father continued, “And you did, sweetheart.” Your father smiled proudly at you, “You became a surgeon. You save lives everyday. You are someone, and you are someone important.”
“The mistake I made seven years ago was not letting you remember who loved you before that. Before you become someone important.”
Your father was quiet for a moment.
Then, “Paige has loved you for twenty-five years. She has been in love with you since you were fifteen. She loved you before you became someone important…and it’s my fault that that you never got to experience a love like mine and your mothers.”
“Dad, that's not your fault–”
“Go to her, sweetheart. She still loves you and I know the only reason you haven't come back is because you thought you would have to go through the pain of seeing her move on, but she will never move on if it isn't with you.”
You stood up and walked over to your father and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I love you, dad.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. Now go.”
You smiled at your father and rushed out of the room. You came face to face with Ryan and Alex, and both of their arms were filled with food. You gave them a once over look before asking Ryan for the keys to his truck. He gave them over with a look of confusion but you didn't spare the men a second glance as you raced down the hallway and out of the hospital.
Still in the hallway, Ryan and Alex looked at each other in confusion before shrugging and making their way to your fathers room.
As you drove, you suddenly felt a pit in your stomach.
What if this went badly? What if this is a mistake? Should you have even come back? That's silly, of course you should have. But should you be going to see Paige right now?
Before you could spiral any longer, you were suddenly at the bottom of Paige's family's long dirt driveway. You remembered your fathers directions and turned off at the first curve in the driveway.
You drove down, and tall trees—probably maples—lined the dirt driveway that led to her house. You could see it in the distance and as you got closer you realised it was everything you dreamed of when you were younger.
You parked the truck, and got out. You stared up at the house, your hand coming up to cover your eyes from the sun, and it almost took your breath away. Everything, from the big porch down to the blue shutters, it was all that you had imagined.
Suddenly, you heard a sound to your left. Turning to the noise, you were greeted with a sight that did take your breath away.
She looked older, more mature. Her hair was shorter, and even from afar you could still see her beautiful crystal blue eyes.
She looked just as beautiful as the day she left.
“Hello.” You said nervously.
Paige stared at you. You couldn't tell what she was thinking.
“Nice house.” You said, gesturing to it.
You sighed, “I shouldn't have come. I’m sorry.”
But just as you turned to open the door, Paige spoke up, “You wanna come in?”
Her voice was deeper and her country accent was more prominent. It would have been hard to understand but you had spent all day with your father getting used to the country accent again. Your accent disappeared a long time ago.
You paused and turned back to stare at Paige. She shrugged, “You wanna see it? I have drinks in the fridge. If you want.”
You stared at Paige, then at the house, and nodded, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Paige nodded and then the both of you stood there staring at each other for a moment longer, just taking in how different the other was.
Then Paige walked towards the house and you followed behind her.
Paige walked through the door and just before you stepped inside, you paused. You took a deep breath then you walked in.
The house was mainly empty, so empty that it echoed whenever you took a step. Paige walked off somewhere, presumably to the kitchen, which left you to wander. You walked to the right and entered a large room. There were huge glass windows on the side that let in the sunlight. It was exactly as you had imagined it would be.
Paige's boots echoed from behind you as she came back towards you and passed you a beer. She nodded her head towards the hallway, gesturing for you to follow her and you did.
She led you upstairs to the back and entered a room. As you walked in and took it all in, the sight took your breath away.
Through large windows, you could see the mountains. The rocky mountains that you loved staring at when you were a child. You didn't know how many times you had stopped and watched the sun set behind those mountains when you were younger. Then you remembered, “And a room at the back so I can see the mountains.”
You felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest.
This room was the only one with some kind of furniture in it, at least that's what you assumed, but if Paige lived here full time, maybe it wasn't.
A blue couch was placed in front of the large windows, a blanket folded on top of it, with a pillow off to the side. And a radio sat on the window sill. Nothing else was in the room.
Paige sat down and gestured for you to do the same.
The windows were open allowing you to hear the chirps from the birds and rustling of the leaves, aside from that, there was no noise. Paige didn't try to start a conversation and neither did you.
You wanted to, but you were at a loss for what to say.
What do you say to the girl you've been in love with for years and then yelled at her ‘I hate you’ after she broke up with you and said you were too clingy then you left for seven years and didn't come back until your father went to the hospital and the only reason you did come to see her was because you saw her in the paper and your father gave you a talk about his mistakes and how she still loves you, but if he didn't, you would have never went to see her and you would've went home having ignored her the whole time you were back?
Exactly. It was difficult.
But you needed to say something. Anything. Anything would be better than silence.
“I saw you in the paper,”
Well, that's certainly a start.
Paige shifted her head towards you, “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I, uh…I was visiting my dad at the hospital,” Paige frowned at that, “Then I saw your picture, and Dad told me where to go,”
“Are you selling it?” You asked, which was a stupid question because obviously if she wasn’t selling it, it wouldn’t be in the paper.
Paige shifted awkwardly, “Yeah, maybe, I don’t know yet,”
You pursed your lips, “It’s a beautiful house, anyone would be lucky to get it,” Then you quickly added, “Only if you’re planning on selling, of course,”
Paige didn’t say anything as she stared at you. There was something in her eyes, something you hadn’t seen in a long time. You shifted nervously under her gaze.
She must’ve noticed because soon after that she averted her gaze to the window, then she changed the subject, “So…how’s New York?”
Your head snapped towards her, confusion all over your face.
Paige chuckled, “Your dad brags about you to everyone, I’ve heard a bit about what you’ve been up to but I wanna hear it from you. You’re a surgeon right?”
You nodded, of course Paige had heard about you, “Um, yeah, New York is amazing. This city is so loud and constantly moving but I like it. And work is good too, I like helping people and I have a lot of friends. Life in New York is…really good.”
Paige stared wistfully at you while you talked. She helped her father take yours to the hospital and had visited a few times but she didn’t know you had come back, but she wouldn’t expect any less, he was your father after all.
What did catch Paige off guard was you coming to the house.
Paige would always regret that night. Building your house was, in Paige’s mind, a way to find forgiveness and peace within herself. Once she had accepted that you weren’t coming back, she built the house in hopes that one day if you did return, you and her would fall right back into each other.
Paige was a little nervous about being around you again. You were both older and mature, clearly very different but still somehow the exact same, and yet, Paige felt like there was a barrier. Something keeping the two of you from really connecting again.
“That’s good.” She found herself saying, “That’s…great. I always thought you were gonna end up doing something important,”
The memory of your argument came back to you and you turned away from Paige, “Mm, you did.”
Then you shook the memory away. That was then and this was now. You didn’t know if you could go back to before but you could try to be friends, if Paige wanted that.
“What about you?” You asked after a few quiet moments, “Do you still work for your father?”
“Yeah,” Paige nodded, “Dad made me ranch hand a few years ago so I do that, but I also help around town, y’know the same things I used to do before…” She trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward and you understood why.
You leaving wasn’t exactly a conversation starter. It was more of a conversation ender. Clearly.
It was silent after that.
The both of you watched the sun start to set, and you smiled.
This moment. Right now, was what you had envisioned when you thought about the house, and the room at the back. Albeit, you and Paige were married in that future.
The sun slowly disappeared and Paige got up to close the windows to keep the bugs out, when she did the radio turned on. It spooked the both of you as neither of you had turned it on but maybe it just needed signals. Who knows?
The soft strum of a guitar filled the room.
You and Paige very unsubtly glanced towards each other recognizing the sound of Chris Stapleton’s ‘Tennessee Whiskey’ and the memory that came with it.
Paige turned her body back to you and said, “Do you…remember?”
It was one of the first dates you and Paige had gone on. You had always wanted to go dancing at the bar downtown but you were too young, so Paige had surprised you and got the bar owner to let the two of you in only if you didn't order alcohol and Paige came back the next day to clean up.
You were so happy, and one of the first dances that the two of you had was to ‘Tennessee Whiskey’.
Paige exhaled then walked towards you with her hand held out, “Would you like to dance, darling?”
You smiled and placed your hand in hers, “I would like that very much,”
Paige smiled back at you and pulled you up off the couch. She twirled you before bringing you close and placing her arms on your waist. Your arms landed on her shoulders and the two of you swayed side to side, listening to the music and enjoying being in each other's embrace again.
With the song playing softly in the background, the sun now officially setting and you and Paige being so close to each other, it created a tension in the room that wasn't there before.
You looked towards Paige and found her staring right at you.
Now that you were closer, you could see all of her.
You could see her blue eyes, that never failed to make you nervous when she stared at you for too long. You could see the light scar on her nose from when she fell and headbutted the fence post. You could see the light flush on her cheeks that you couldn't help but kiss when you were younger because she looked so beautiful. You could see the pink of the lips that you had kissed too many times to count.
But most of all, you could see Paige. And you knew she could see you too.
“Paige,” Said so softly, so quiet that if Paige wasn't inches away from you she wouldn't have heard it.
She leaned forward ever so slightly and her eyes were trained on yours watching for your reaction. Watching to see if you really wanted this again. Wanted her again.
You closed the distance and pressed your lips against Paige's.
You sighed in complete bliss. Kissing Paige after so long felt like you had finally come home. Paige's hand came up to cradle your face and she tugged you closer, you went willingly and fell deeper in her.
The kiss was soft. A chance to relearn each other, but it got hungrier. Paige hasn’t been with you for seven years, she craved you.
Paige tapped your thighs, a signal for you to jump, but also for you to decide if you wanted this too.
You needed Paige like you needed air to breathe. You jumped into her arms and wrapped your legs around her waist. There was no hesitancy in Paige's movements as she held you up, and walked to her room, all while kissing you.
And that barrier that was up? And that connection that Paige was looking for? Well, it turns out that sleeping with the girl you've been in love with for ten years tends to fix all that other stuff.
