im a cool dad.

26,New York, I love Kailey Ho😍👻

[professional-bum]

Tic tok is better

[professional-bum]

Returning to tumblr after a couple of years wtf happen

[professional-bum]

Wheres all the porn ?

[funnytwittertweets]

[duncebento]

[ruinedchildhood]

[professional-bum]

So how do you find success with a medal detector or something?

[yeezus-fish]

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool

[bunsen-deactivated20150516]

when you’re checking someone out and they catch you

[flowerinaflame]

[dulect]

coming out of a p.e lesson like

[commiegoth]

[djustchillin]

How…did he just know

[blankpointdankmemes]

[segadreamcatcher]

listen

[earthdad]

me: whats up?

some alternative girl with anime character icon: just watering my plants and looking at my cactus they are gentle and smol like me

me:

[toastbutteregg]

at least im standing, proud of my work

[basket]

NASA: We are humans, broadcasting to any life forms in the galaxy. We come in peace.

Alien: Hey humans, you sound nice.

NASA: Haha thanks. You should come over :)

Alien: Uhhh, what? Our technology isn't advanced enough yet. But we can just talk for a while.

NASA: Aww damn. SO what are you doing?

ALien: Ummm, just like... operating our technology to contact you I guess? Translating your language?

NASA: But what would you be doing if I was there haha ;)

[local-graveyard]