breaking bad

Kim Jaejoong. assistant professor to singing [email protected] (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[aegyoqueenlol-blog]

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

When he took her hands to his and gave her a smiled that seemed so genuine with just a right touch of shyness, that familiar warmth she felt at the very beggining of their relationship rushed through her. A gentle smile slowly surfaced on her face upon hearing those words. The words she thought she’d never hear but in her dreams. She thought it was sweet and at the same time corny, but really, when have these two never been corny and cheesy?

There’s way too much cheese in their relationship, it should be illegal — Not that she was complaining though. She liked it better that way. She loved every minute spent with him.She’s genuinely happy. A happiness she reckoned she could never, ever find anywhere else but in the arms of this man named Kim Jaejoong.

The drastic change in the atmosphere between the two astonished her, but it wasn’t soon before she realized why. She wasn’t the type to cheat but the emotions she was currently feeling inside were overwhelming. And without even realizing, her feet moved a step closer to him as both of her hands wrap themselves on his body. “Please..don’t leave..again” She uttered, her words coming out mumbled as she buried her head in his chest “I thought it didn’t matter whether you were where I am or not, I thought I would be able to move on either way after some time.. But then I realized, now, that the only thing that matters is that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be” 

“Please.. don’t leave” 

[profjae]

His hands instinctively found their way to wrap around her waist, pulling her in closer even though is mind was telling him to do the opposite. He hated how he had to constantly remind himself that she had a boyfriend -- a good boyfriend, no wait, a great boyfriend that wouldn't break her heart -- that wasn't him. His arms slowly fell from her waist to hang by his side when his mind finally registered what he was doing. 

Slowly but steadily, his fingers laid against her shoulders, pushing her face away from his chest. Moving to cup her face in his hands, he grinned at her, amused at her reaction. The fact that she bought out more emotion in him than anyone else, as well as able to match and mirror it, was one of his favourite things about them. About her.

"I... love you. Always have and always will. Okay? But you've got Yoochun and he's like a brother to me. I don't want you to break up with him- because God knows how much he likes you, he might even love you." It hurt to talk admit it aloud, especially after months of wafting around the subject, but it needed to be done "I doubt it but he might love you just as much as I do. I just don't want to be the reason why you guys break up. I don't ever want to come between you two" He smirked a little bit to himself, purely because he knew Yoochun didn't share the same sentiments. The amount of times that the two fought over the younger Hufflepuff and the amount of times that Jaejoong had had to restrain his anger was phenomenal, but they were friends, best friends and each time he would take it in stride. Because he knew the feeling of loving her just as well as Yoochun did. "You make me happier than anyone else, know that at least"

[chibisuz]

[myjaejoong27-deactivated2013040]

[imjaebums-blog]

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

Upon hearing his apology, her tightly clenched fist softened. In all honesty, an apology isn’t what she was waiting to hear from him. Tiffany wasn’t angry because he left, just like she said, she understood why, She was angry because of the fact that he didn’t even bother to send her even one message. And like an idiot, she still kept waiting and waiting. The reason sounded pretty selfish really but what can she do? She loved — she loves him. 

‘At least one of us is lucky enough’ So he knows. Since when? Was he constantly acquiring news updates about her while she consistently hoped and prayed that at least one person would suddenly show up to tell her that he’s still alive?. For some reason, that thought triggered a little spark of anger in her. She wanted to ask him how he knew, but managed to stop her mouth from opening upon realising that it wouldn’t make a difference. What’s done is done. 

She stood up from her seat just as he did and looked up at him with determined eyes. “He does make me happy.  Yoochun was the one who helped me through practically everything when you were gone” She said blatantly, though she withered once again as she took in a huge breath. “But..” She managed to utter, ” I tried so hard to force myself in to believing that we were apart for good reason. . because my friends and a part of me were telling me that you probably feel the same way too. . but the more time I spend with Yoochun, the more I realized that there was no good enough reason to..” She paused to breathe, unsure if continuing her sentence was a good idea.

 But it was now or never.

“It made me realize there was no good enough reason to stop me from loving you” 

[profjae]

Upon hearing the confirmation that he does make her happy, Jaejoong realised that he didn't want to hear anymore. He thought he was ready, ready to face her, face them but evidently he had been lying to himself just as much as he had been lying to everyone else. He forced his feet forward, taking two steps before he caught the end of her sentence, freezing him to his place. Everything he was feeling prior to that moment drained from his being as the textbook hung limp in his hand, eventually falling -- not that it was on his list of priorities anyway. 

It was exactly what he wanted to hear and yet he found himself speechless.

He loved Tiffany more than he'll ever let on and that pure fact scared him to his wits. But he was also a gentleman (a selfish one, but a gentleman all the same) and he daren't come between his friend and girlfriend. Even if said friend didn't share the same ethics. He turned slowly in his position, staring at her back as if he was waiting for her to disappear and that this was another dream -- no, another nightmare -- that plagued his sleep during their first few weeks apart.

"It's funny, when I left I thought I had found a reason that was enough to convince me that we're better off apart than together." A wry chuckle played along his lips as he stepped back towards her, standing by the table. He bent down, completely forgetting the book that laid open just a few feet away from him, taking her hand in both of his "But you know what? The only thing that it convinced me was that there is no one, and I mean absolutely no one on this planet that will ever mean more to me than you do"

He felt corny and he felt stupid, but what more was he to do? He was a stupid idiot in love. He was slightly embarrassed that he was spilling out his soul to her like this but at the same time he was just happy to get it all out. As his eyes searched hers for any form of an answer, he chuckled rather pathetically. What was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this! She has a boyfriend. The thought rang through his mind as he hastily released her hand from his, stepping back "I- I gotta go Tiffany" 

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

It took her mind some time to assimilate all of his words. He said it way too fast — or maybe she was way too slow but, the mixture of emotions that grew inside her as she listened was ineffable.  ”You can’t…” She raised her head to meet his stare once again, her eyebrows knitting in frustration. Minding their current location, her voice remained soft as she continued, though the burden was evident in her voice.

 ”..You can’t just leave and come back saying all these things. You left, and I understood your reason. You told me you’ll love me still, and I believed - six months without even a single letter or any form of communication— Do you know how worried I got? I prayed every single night, for nothing but your safety. My friends have been constantly telling me that there’s no use waiting for you, cause you’ll never come back.. I told them off — But a naive girl like me can only take so much.  An atrocious thought came to mind one day, and I told myself, maybe they were right. Maybe i’m hoping and waiting for nothing..but the thought of you happy in the arms of someone else while I was here waiting patiently even though I know the chances were tenuous.. it’s just.. I couldn’t… I.. I used to think of you as someone who would never, ever hurt me”

She wasn’t aware that her words were already irrelevant until she stopped talking. What she intended to be a small answer turned out to be a huge rant. Her fist clenched as she fought back the tears that were threatening to escape. 

[profjae]

From another perspective, Jaejoong might've laughed. Might've laughed at whoever told him that one day he'd be sitting opposite the only girl that's ever had his heart, watching her tell him words that he'd never want, or need, to hear. Might've laughed at the fact that none of this would've happened, none of it would've played out if he had just accepted the fact that there was nothing better for him than her. But this wasn't another perspective and he was sitting in the seat, at a complete loss for words as he tries to over come the shock that had washed over him.

"I- I-" What was he supposed to say to that? Used to think of you as someone who would never, ever hurt me. The words hurt more than he realised but it didn't sting for long, the familiar feeling of numbness making it forgotten at the back of his chest. "I'm sorry" he said plainly, letting every emotion drain from his tone as he looked up at her sadly. "For.. everything. For leaving you. For not owling you. For coming back. All of it. I thought that maybe if I put a few thousand miles between us we'd be able to move on" He laughed dryly to himself, a forced chuckle that burnt his throat "Well at least one of us was lucky enough" He muttered, looking away whilst pushing his chair back and standing up. 

Standing opposite her, he collected the book in his hand before stepping to the side. He gave her one last smile, remembering that he hadn't gotten an answer from her. Not that he needed one, he could already tell that it would be best if he just... wasn't around. "I truly hope you're happy with Yoochun. He's a great guy and I know he'll make you twice as happy that I could've"

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

A terse nod from her followed his short answers, “I see. He should be around, studying, I guess”.  Her eyes fixated at some point in the distance to her left, contemplating if she should be the one to initiate the questions that’s been circulating in her mind and finally decided to. As she was just about to say something, his question caught her off guard. 

That particular word, ‘friend’ bounced to the inside of her skull, stabbing an excruciating pain directly through her chest. It felt like a slap in the face really - Was it really necessary to include those words? Tiffany pressed her lips together, and forced herself to curl them up in to a semblance of a smile “Mhm.. go ahead” She replied, in a voice she’s fighting to keep steady. It was evident that for the past few minutes the two of them have been trying to avoid the topic of their relationship, but she reckoned they can’t really avoid it forever. 

She looked at him directly as she waited, her eyes shaking, suddenly feeling anxious. 

[profjae]

He could see the natural reaction cross her features as she considered his use of words. Why had he chosen to use the word friend? Who knows. He, himself, had no idea why she was just a friend when she was so much more than that. If he had allowed himself to put the title that he really wanted she would be... his. Past tense. Was. Coughing into his closed fist, he took a deep breath and met her stare with his own.

"I know that I have no right to be here. Trust me, every single person in my life has told me time and time again that coming back was a bad decision, that coming back to the castle would just- do more wrong than right. But I couldn't stay away. I tried, Tiffany. I tried so hard and for so long that it became exhausting trying to pretend I was okay without yo-" His voice caught then, trying to find words to say. Another deep breath and he continued onto a different topic "I just want... you to be happy. With or without me. If my teaching here makes you even the slightest bit unhappy then I'll pack my bags and return home. You just have to... say... so" 

[shootovaries]

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

They used to be able to smile around each other comfortably, talk for long hours about things that matter and things that don’t. How did they get here? To a stage where the presence of one brings awkwardness to the other. A sense of comfort washed through her upon having her eyes meet his. Tiffany didn’t want to get ahead of herself but she could swore, a small spark of light that gave her the hint that the way he felt for her before he left remained the same.

 At the mention of Yoochun’s name, she immediately felt like she had her heart in her throat. Her hands were intertwined with each other repeatedly as she fidgeted with them on her lap. From the uncertainty in his voice, a knot of thoughts clouded her mind - Does he already know? Will he want to know? Is it a good idea to let him know? numerous questions bombarded her head as the unforgotten memory of when Jaejoong almost killed Yoochun came to the front of her mind and incited a feeling of total fear and apprehension. “He’s.. doing great” She answered softly, not exactly sure  what to say. “..h-how have you been these past months?” Did you miss me just like how much I missed you? 

[profjae]

"...Cool" He said eventually, allowing another long moment of silence to fill between them. They used to struggle to get a word in, having so much to talk about that silence was practically nonexistent to the couple. Ex-couple, he corrected in his mind. He wondered if she shared the same with Yoochun, he always wondered how he matched up to his friend. "Haven't seen him since I left" 

Another small smile stretched his cheeks upwards as he glanced down at the book. "Uh... not so great, to be honest" He said quietly, flicking his bangs out of his eyes as he looked up at her again, "It took a while to um get over leaving yo- Hogwarts but, uh, I got there eventually" It was the truth, even if he did have to cut it short. He still wasn't entirely over her and probably never will be. The thought seemed to spur some courage into him as he placed the book lightly onto the seat next to him, leaning forward on the table. 

"Can I- uh- can I ask you something? Friend to friend?" 

If he didn't tell her now, he knew that he'd never be able to tell her.

Here goes... everything.

[kimjaejoong-sshi]

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

She was reluctant to answer his question. She knew she would be lying to herself if she were to agree with him. While spending time with Yoochun certainly did ease a part of the pain that was crippling her heart, She knew that her heart wanted nobody else but that Ravenclaw. A faint sound of ‘..mm’ and a one small nod of her head was what she could get herself to do. She returned his smile, though inside she was gradually dying. Little by little.

Oh. It was no wonder he wasn’t wearing anything that anunciated that he was from Ravenclaw like how he used to. “Professor Jaejoong..?” She couldn’t fight back the chuckle that followed after addressing him that unfamiliar title. Her chuckle, however trailed off as the feeling of utter awkwardness sunk in.”professor boa..? She’s the vocal teacher isn’t she?” Great. Just when she thought things could not get any more worse. She took singing as an elective this year, well, just like the previous years really.

“I bet everyone missed you too.. much more than you could ever imagine” She mumbled shyly, enunciating on the word everyone just like how he did. She really hoped he got what that phrase really meant,though.

[profjae]

His breath hitched when all she could reply was a small murmur. He didn't really know what to do then. Everything was out of the way -- the quick catchup and explanations that he had planned the days prior having gone to waste. Jaejoong's fingers curled around each other as he interlaced his lands onto his lap, looking away from her again. "Mhm, BoA" It was short and it was curt but really what else was he supposed to say?

Jaejoong lifted his head slowly, his eyes searching her own for something, anything, that would tell him what to do next. But he had no idea what to do. He had expected something entirely opposite of what was happening before and obviously he couldn't force her into playing out the scenario that his mind had made. "How's- uh- how's Yoochun?" He asked eventually, purely wanting to fill the silent void that had fallen between them. Even if it was the last thing he wanted to talk about, he just wanted to talk to her.

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

Her eyes remained planted to his face, finding it hard to believe that he was actually back after, what? about five months of disappearing? It took her all of her strength to refrain herself from throwing her arms at him. At his question an even more bemused look surfaced on her face. “Uh..I’ve been..” Bad. Not even a single letter, no messages. Never been horrible. Fell to the depths of depth ever since you left. The first few months without you, I couldn’t sleep. My world never felt more incomplete, “good..?” She answered albeit sounding uncertain.

Her head turned to anywhere but at him, her fingers playing with the ends of the paper nervously, feeling the apprehension slowly dawning on her upon realizing that Yoochun could walk in on them any moment. Oh. Yoochun. Was she supposed to tell him that they’re dating?  ”Why..” She paused, finding the courage to look at him directly, her eyebrows knotting in confusion “Why.. are you.. I thought you wanted to pursue your singing career.. why are you back ..here?” 

[profjae]

He smiled wistfully to himself, surprisingly taken back at her reply. But then again what did he expect? Her to completely and entirely miss him, like he had her? For her to throw herself at him like he wanted her too -- for her to be miserable so that he didn't feel like such an idiot for feeling the same. No, she was far better than that. And as pathetic as it made him feel, he was happy. "That's good" He smiled at her eventually, forcing his lips into a curve and framed it there before forcing the next sentence out "Me too. Things are pretty good right now, right?"

His fingers traced invisible circles onto the book cover as he looked away from her stare and question. He didn't really know what to say. Well, he did actually but he was almost 100% certain she didn't want to hear it. He lied most of his way through the conversation now so why doesn't he just put the cherry on top? "The headmaster heard I got really good grades at Langley so they asked me to assist Professor BoA in balancing her subjects, not that she needs it, though. But yeah, I just came back cause I missed everyone and stuff" He emphasised everyone although it was pretty obvious who he really missed. "Feels weird being back" 

[blossom423-deactivated20160504]

[profboa-blog]

-laughs- Sunbae! call me sunbae. After we get to know each other better, I might let you call me Noona. -nods approvingly- I hope you’re not incompetent. I do not like incompetence in my class, especially coming from my partner in crime.

[profjae]

(/can't help but let out a laugh, although out of politeness he bows to her) Sunbae it'll be, then. Wait? Noona? How old are you? (/looks at her up and down once, trying to decide how old she is) I've got a lot to learn about teaching but I've got singing down to a T! Don't worry partner, we've got this! 

[notso-fanypuff]

`living like a dream | Tiffany & Jaejoong.

[notso-fanypuff]

Just like how she predicted it would be, she spent a small ratio of her time actually assimilating knowledge to her brain whilst the latter , she spent staring into space; Pondering on both the things that does not concern her, and things that do. Tapping a familiar rhythm on to the surface of the book as she was propped on her elbow, her thoughtful reverie was disrupted upon hearing the crash. 

Of her caring nature, her hand instinctively extended in an attempt to catch the man’s fall but it was all too late. “Oh merlin,” She couldn’t help the natural chuckle that escaped her lips at the sight of him on the ground “Are you oka-” Though her happy facade immediately diminished upon recognizing him. The hufflepuff’s eyelids matched her heart rate as they blinked rapidly. What was she to do? Running away was certainly not an option.

“Jae..?” She muttered reluctantly, frozen in her spot. 

[profjae]

It was hard to really find the words to reply, or words to even describe the situation. All he could do was blink hard at her, trying to keep his jar from falling ajar as he did. His fingers raked through his raven hair again, as he avoided her gazing, reaching out to pick up the book that had fallen a few feet away. Taking a few steps towards it, he scooped its pages into his arms before taking a long deep breath.

Should he or shouldn't he?

"It's been a while, Tiffany!" He grinned at her, pacing back towards the table and taking a seat opposite her even though every being in his body told him not too. He could hear Junsu's voice ringing at the back of his mind, telling him that it was a horrible idea. "How've you been?" He asked, placing the book onto his lap in case he needed to make a quick getaway if Yoochun were to wander by or someone else he desperately didnt want to see. And then the thought struck him. How much did she know that he knew? Did she even know that he knew they were dating? How would she react to him? He merely shoved it all to be forgotten along with his disapproving conscience. 

[profboa-blog]

-pushes you playfully- why so formal? since you’re now going to be my new partner in crime, I expect you to be extremely comfortable with me! -points at you with her finger, arching her eyebrow- got that sir? -grins-

[profjae]

(/laughs, still not entirely used to the title of professor and teacher) Shall I call you BoA-sshi then or what would you prefer? (/grins) Yes ma'am! (/salutes at her)