- ̗̀ Fight Me ̖́-

“In the end there doesn’t have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to.” ||Silver RP Blog||

[proteamomegas]

// I don’t even know how to write Silver anymore he’s just falling into a weird place between Killua and Kurapika rather than his own separate character and it’s annoying me

[proteamomegas]

goldencue:

[Text;] wow wtf [Text;] dont deny it

{Silver shifts and looks away from his PokeGear for a moment, letting out a small huff in his annoyance.}

[Text] : Don’t act like you need your ego stroked. I’m being completely serious and not denying anything in the present context.

[draicon-archive-blog]

                 ❛ i didn’t think you necessarily had to know that i needed glasses, but yes. i do. mostly for reading && writing. ❜

                   of course, this wouldn’t have been the first time someone had made a remark on the glasses. whilst most people would have assumed lance to be the kind always ready for battle, pose stricken with his fierce && undoubtedly loyal team at his side, one would have been more than shocked to find out that paper work was a regular part of his routine. enough to make him miss the battle field && the shot of ecstasy it always seemed to inject in his veins. the slight feeling of nostalgia hit him. 

                  he watched the red-head familiarise himself with the office, golden orbs threatening to narrow into slits of slight suspicion until the thought occurred to him: most people would feel more comfortable in any environment if it was first scanned. doors opposite his desk && the windows for a narrow escape && what lance could remember of silver – his silver – his own morality wasn’t as high as he could have hoped for. all objects of value were spotted && a count was made. it was better to be safe then end up loosening something. 

              ❛ && what sort of information would you need? in terms of location, or how to handle a dragon type because the both would be offered – as long as a proper reason would be given, of course. ❜

                  the champion would never deny the wariness that came along with the pokemon trainer’s presence – especially when it came to pokemon of any sort. his silver had never had the greatest bond with them nor was there a mutual respect in the first place which led the champion to questioning his capabilities as a trainer in all – however, in his own defence, the last time he had caught sight of the red-head, he was trying to fix broken trust with his pokemon. he’d just have to wait && see whatever it was that he needed. 

[proteamomegas]

{Silver takes a moment to respond, eyes half lidded and lazy after watching Lance glance around the room. He must must have thought the move was too casual for Silver to pick up on, but all it does it bring his attention to things that he would have taken with a profoundly skilled slight of hand once upon a time.

It's an understandable impulse, but one that leaves Silver no less irritated. So much so that he allows a certain amount of distaste to enter his expression.}

Your willingness to help me is noted. I'm interested in your knowledge on handling dragon types, I've found myself surprised by the tenacious grip they have on their pride. {Even Weavile and Gyarados have never displayed such an attitude before, leaving Silver somewhat at a loss for how to approach and reprimand the behavior.

Silver looks down at his right hip, lifting the edge of his jacket to carefully unclip the Ultra Ball that had been locked onto his belt. Placing it on the desk he smooths his thumb over the top, revealing the curled dragon inside.}

This is Noivern. We've been acquainted for some time, but I believe she is older than I first predicted, and in her age she has accumulated an unruly amount of pride and self-confidence. I don't want her to change, necessarily; I want to know how one goes about gaining a dragon's respect.

[proteamomegas]

// On that note lmao I am going to try and get to replies today, some plans got cancelled and I’m in an unusually cheery, if not low energy, mood

[proteamomegas]

Why do you bother keeping a roleplay account if you never reply to people? :/

// This may somehow come as a surprise, but I a young adult inflicted with depression and I do what I can to keep myself occupied and healthily entertained. This RP account has good memories to it, and while I still love RPing Silver I rarely have inspiration and the energy to get to replies at the same time, especially as of late.

I’m not insulted or upset in the least to get this ask, but really, you should use the brain sloshing around in your head to try and fill in some blanks yourself.

[proteamomegas]

jadedisms replied to your post:

‘ I’m quite sure. If you’d like, I could buy you another one? ‘

{Implications flutter quietly at the edge of his mind, Pryce’s voice an ominous and whispering nothing is free, every kindness has strings attached. Silver shifts in his seat and nevertheless assents to a free replacement.}

If that’s what you want to do I’m fine with it.

[proteamomegas]

[ Isn't really one for not being surprised whenever Silver kisses him, but the redhead hasn't done that in a while so-- He'll settle for being the one who'll set such an affection into play first this time. ]

{It's not that Silver's forgotten that Gold is sitting on the couch beside him, he’s sitting close enough the heat along his side is almost enough to make him shed his jacket. It’s just that he didn’t expect this kind of behavior. At all.

Gold hasn't responded in the past to Silver's advances, contrastingly chaste compared to the womanizing he’s attempted through the years, so to have him lean in without warning into Silver's space, with an unmistakable intent, almost has Silver’s conscious thoughts shut down. 

Gold stalls in front of Silver’s mouth, giving several long seconds for Silver to reject the advance.

He doesn't.} 

[superdiduper]

ask and receive 

[beli-vran]

[goldencue]

[ And it would be Gold’s turn to fall silent, gaze resting on the floor with a deeper saddened frown taking hold of his features. Silver could be just so hopeless sometimes, relationship or not – Hell, he didn’t even know what they were. Friends? Boyfriends? Strangers, maybe? 

No. Definitely not strangers, but it still felt so alien to Gold whenever Silver pulled this. As if he couldn’t help the redhead no matter what, because he would always push him away. Refuse the want to help. It annoyed the Hatcher so much, and was probably the one thing that he hated about the other.

But at the beginning of those words he’s elated, perking up if just for a millisecond before Silver made him crash once more. That harsh tone just cut right through his normally immune mind. ]

…Or is it you just don’t want me to? Because I know you need it, I need it, everyone needs someone to care about how they feel. Sometimes it’s just… A bit more than usual. And you’re hurting to, so God, Silver – Stop pushing me away. That’s all you do sometimes, but I promise I won’t either.

[proteamomegas]

What I want, first and foremost, is for you to direct your focus to taking care of yourself. {Exasperation colors Silver’s tone as he makes no attempt to answer what Gold is really asking him. Hearing Gold state so blatantly that he’s hurting makes Silver want to wince. Honest transparency that belies vulnerability.

Not Silver’s territory.}

And I’m not pushing you away right now. {He says each word slowly, firmly.} I just have a different opinion on where priorities should be placed at the moment. Like you coming with me to the kitchen to eat.

{There would be a brief solace from this conversation while Gold stuffed his face, not to mention Silver will have more than a few seconds at a time to digest what he’s just learned.}

[transruby]

Silver has been through horrors in his childhood that Gold could hardly imagine, and after all it took to escape and struggle to get back home, you’d think he’d deserve it more than anyone. Sadly, sometimes the heavens play favourites. It’s just another of countless adult lessons Silver has had to live with his whole life, and another is that you can’t change the brain you’re born into.

[goldencue]

[ And at first Gold is ready to retaliate against the other,  thoroughly frustrated with just how Silver was blowing the situation out of proportion. Couldn’t he see that all the Hatcher wanted to do was protect him? Even if it meant not getting better himself – sooner or later Silver was going to find out.

To bad it had to be at his hand. ] Maybe in a couple days due time, maybe later than that. I don’t know, Silver! But any other way than this would’ve been absolutely perfect. Your reaction isn’t helping matters, you know.

[ He really doesn’t know. When the right time would be, how Silver would react if he found out either sooner than this or later, or if there was any way to reach out to him and soothe that rising and bubbling anger. ( Somehow, it wasn’t fair. ) Though, now it was like he was at a loss for what to say exactly, left Gold standing there with that died off speech that almost seemed to push him to scream, yell or shout – Maybe even hug Silver and never let go. ]

You don’t know what I need? I’ll tell you. I need you. And you can twist this as much as you have to, it’ll never change that. 

[ He was delicate with his word choice, chewing his bottom lip as he wracked through his brain for the right things to say – how to say them – anything that would soothe Silver instead of angering him even more. He was so unpredictable, honestly, and Gold was left wondering why.

[ He wanted to help fix Silver, too. ]

[proteamomegas]

{Your reaction isn’t helping matters, you know. Silver stiffens, eyes narrowing slowly. No, that was right. Of all the times to lose control of his emotions, now wasn’t it. Gold doesn't need this right now, Gold deserves better than this, especially now. Silver has to be better than this.

Gentle. He needs to be more gentle.

Needs to be, but can't do any more than pull on a cracked calm over the violent storm of emotions he's feeling. Gold is an idiot, a fact more prominent than ever because he can make Silver angry with effortless ease in such a delicate situation.}

If you need me I'm here. {Of all the times for Gold to not be a selfish prick, it had to be now. Processing emotions isn't something that Silver has ever been keen to let other's in on; he needs to do it alone, isolated. It's the easiest way to go about it.} So stop prioritizing how I feel. I don’t need you to.

{The thought of being needed, or actually needing Gold, is so terrifying it’s an effort to not point out that Gold was, and still is, a fucking mess. If he can't do something as simple as completing daily necessities, just living, he had no right to try and be someone else's pillar of support.

He's unstable, and if Silver tried to lean on him now it would just cause them both to crumble.}

[proteamomegas]

// wanna rp hxh stuff

[proteamomegas]

‘ ♣︎

send me ‘ ♣︎ ‘ and i’ll generate a number between 1 - 110 for what my muse will say to yours.

Number generated: 42

That’s all. {Silver can’t quite look at Blue after he’s done recounting it all. He knows Blue best out of anyone he’s ever known, but he still isn’t sure how she’ll react to…whatever it is he’s doing with Gold. Not only that, but he’s kept it like a secret for months now.}

[proteamomegas]

' I’m sorry to interrupt, but I saw someone put something in your drink. You didn’t drink from it already, did you? '

Uh, no, not yet. Are you sure it was my drink?

[goldencue]

[ It’s been a week or maybe even more– Honestly Gold’s lost track at this point– Since she’s been gone. He’d lost his mind over and over again to the sleepless nights that would follow, and the endless tears that never seemed to dry themselves no matter how much he wanted to stop. The Hatcher just had a bleeding heart, one so dedicated to the woman that he loved so dearly that would never uphold that love anymore; It was such a toll on him.

But Gold notices that Silver twitches slightly in his fingers, and eyebrows would furrow slightly into the beginnings of a frown. He has to turn away before he either breaks down again for real, or… Something will be said that shouldn’t be. It was either that or the other. ] It’s not your fault, you shouldn’t be sorry.

[ He can’t exactly force himself to say ‘it’s fine’, because in reality, it wasn’t. Nothing would be ‘fine’ anymore. Gold didn’t want Silver to find out this way, hell he didn’t even want the other to find out at all– But his Mother meant a lot to the redhead as well, it was only fair. The only unfair thing besides her death itself was the fact that Silver was reacting like this. It angered the Hatcher too, but reminded himself in the corners of his mind that the other just couldn’t handle things like this very… Efficiently. No, scratch that– That was slightly uncalled for. ]

I’m sorry I had to break the news like this.

[proteamomegas]

{A rough bark of mirthless laughter scratches out of Silver’s throat. Gold was an idiot, he was such a fucking -- }

How did you want to break it, Gold? When would have been the appropriate time and setting for something like this, do you think? {As he talks Silver's aware of the boiling heat behind his eyes, and even though the tears don't come, he wipes at his eyes anyways.

Silver’s emotions are becoming wound tight, compressed and suppressed to leave room for a cold logic that does nothing for him in this situation.

Logic fails him as a coping mechanism for the first time he can remember. With it, everything is brought into a cruel kind of focus. It's all in sharp relief, cutting and undeniable. It makes his breathing hitch, something small, but overly loud in the quiet.}

Don't. Don't stand there and worry about me when you're dealing with this. You’re the one who needs. . .needs -- {Silver scowls openly at Gold, not that Gold can see, he’s not looking at him, and comes to the unsurprising realization that he doesn’t know what Gold needs. He’d let his mouth get ahead of him and now he’s left standing mute and shaking, hands clenched so his short nails dig into his palms.}

[proteamomegas]