cause the smell of her perfume echoes in my head still
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@psychedelic-garden
cause the smell of her perfume echoes in my head still
here we go again. my stomach begins to tighten and an overflow of memories start rushing into my frontal lobe. i wait out the storm in total silence. i canāt believe the time.
humans are paranoid, and will demand nothing but total control in each moment. accordingly the future will always be terrifying, and the past will always be upsetting. this is because we have no control over either right now.Ā
the good news is that all of our selfish, controlling desires can be met when we just start taking note of the present moment. how you are feeling in the present moment is something you, in fact, have complete control over. by noticing that right now none of your future anxieties or past traumas are physically harming you, you gain the ability to notice the present for what it actually is - finally. you are allowed to control how you feel in this moment. and for now you donāt have to worry about any of those other things - the things outside this moment. these are the things out of your control.
appreciate and experience the now, and feel the bulk of your stresses evaporate.Ā
thereās a real ebb and flow to griefās crippling weight on my chestĀ
itās too exhausting to keep picking yourself up over and over again. things that seem so recent are now a lifetime away. iām tired.Ā
last night, in the depths of sleep, you took my hand one more time. we walked through breathing alleys made of memories.Ā
what is now, and only that, is what is real.Ā
one of the hardest truths to learn is that love is not a zero-sum game.Ā
Note: If not dead, by default you have for now chosen to Carry On. Realising this, would you like to either traumatise yourself by reliving your most anguished memories or attempt to make this current period of existence as peaceful as possible? Forgive yourself, if not just for the time being.
When I look back on it, it still makes me so sad. I donāt know if that will ever go away, or if itās even supposed to. But I know that I have learned how better to live with this. I have learned to let be what must be left to be. I can either crawl over and die, or carry on.Ā
you never realise which exact seconds will be the ones tattooed into your memory foreverĀ
i close my eyes and youāre with me again, as real and as raw as the day you drove away.Ā
get my cat on the phoneĀ
there is a life outside of this mental prisonĀ
thereās a hole in my heart thatās the shape of you. iām relieved that youāre happy but iām still so sad.Ā
with a heavy heart i think of you againĀ
02-19 (2)