[01]

— @taken-hostage

[Kowalski leans over Uno's shoulder, watching it tinker with his gun. He's close enough that the other man can feel Kowalski's vest resting on its back.]

"Is it done?"

[Well isn't someone excited.]

[Uno could hear Kowalski stepping closer long before he actually came over. What really surprised him was just how close he was getting. Willingly. Wow. He's adjusted quickly, clearly.]

"mm, almost. something doesn't feel right about it."

[It shows off the gun, adjusting the shitty desk lamp it found in a dumpster somewhere and repurposed so it's better lit. It's swapped out a lot of old parts, but it's still in the same general form as Kowalski's old gun. It presses down on a button, releasing the magazine and raising it up to Kowalski's face.]

"i found parts to extend the magazine, first of all. you can jam more bullets in there before you reload. it just might be a bit wonky to hold, but you'll get used to it."

[He then rummages through a pile next to him with scrap and spare parts, revealing a cylindrical part.]

"and this- this is a detachable silencer. put it on when you're sneaking around, take it off when you actually give a shit about the gun. if you use it too much it can get all fucked up and dirty. and you don't want a dirty gun, do you?"

[He hands the silencer to Kowalski and goes back to staring at the gun itself.]

"... i don't know. it just seems... uninspired."

"Huh."

[Kowalski stands upright, his mind searching for something more efficient.]

"...You could modify the trigger for a shorter reset."

[He suggests, inspecting the silencer in his hands from all angles.]

"The silencer and extended magazine are good starts. This isn't the best silencer I've seen though... these synthetic curtains here would affect velocity and accuracy of the bullets. The magwell could be improved for smoother and faster reloading too..."

[Kowalski goes on a one minute long ramble about the modifications. Only when he looks up does he realize he's been talking for too long.]

"Ah- um. Apologies if I've been speaking too much."

[Embarassing.]

[... Snrk. He chuckles.]

"no, no, it's fine. it's charming."

[He looks over the gun, inspecting it's trigger and other small parts... If Kowalski were to look closer, he'd notice that there's no safety. Which has got to be illegal,]

"if they'd help, i'll look into adding them. it's your gun, anyway."

[Probably the only thing Uno would ever acknowledge as being Kowalski's. Actually, speaking of which, he's not berating him nearly as much as he normally would.]

"... you sure you don't want me to, like.... put any decals on it or anything? maybe some paint or something? it's... so unexpressive..."

[... He looks up at Kowalski.]

"i mean, i guess it's a little fitting,"

[Kowalski internally notes the lack of a safety switch on the gun. He'd bring it up if it wasn't more efficient to not have it. He hands the silencer back to Uno as he speaks.]

"Cosmetics don't serve any purpose. They're not useful."

[This guy hates fun.]

"I would think you of all people would throw useless things away."

[Okay. Now hold on here.]

[Okay now hold on a fucking second. It almost looks like Uno's eye twitches.]

"wh- i- hey. i do. asshole. i just thought it be more suitable for you."

[He turns around, crossing his arms while looking up at Kowalski. He's trying very hard to ignore the twinge of pain when he moves. He's been hunched over a shitty makeshift desk for hours. He points an accusatory finger at Kowalski.]

"i thought you of all people would just appreciate the look of a nice, clean, sleek weapon. i mean,"

[He raises the gun up again, brushing over some parts that are scuffed or slightly discolored. They were made from junk pieces, after all. It's impressive how Uno manages to make scrap work for him.]

"look at that. that's embarrassing to be seen with."

[He personally doesn't care how shitty his gear looks. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. He also cares about presentation. Can you imagine being on the news for killing people and your gun doesn't even look good?]

"Uh-huh."

[His reply sounds completely sarcastic.]

[Kowalski crosses his arms. He's not convinced. At all.]

"I don't really care for the presentation."

[He cares if it can get the job done right; efficiently. Isn't his main mission supposed to be killing people? It shouldn't really matter.]

"I'm surprised you do though."

#(pretending this was sent a month earlier lalalala)#(uno number one annoying bastard)#🌐 rp

[He huffs, haphazardly tossing the gun back onto his desk.]

"i care first if it works, but since i'm spending so much time on this, and since we're getting deeper into the big missions, you should be a little flashy about it. i'll work on those suggestions though."

[He smirks as he looks Kowalski up and down.]

"i should start putting stickers all over your vest,"

Haha. Hey. ✧

—@taken-hostage

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I do manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

#🌐 asks #(there is so so so fucking much to unpack here LMAOOO #uno doesnt necessarily respect kowalski but he does care. in. in some way. I guess.#he cares about him the way you care about your pc. start smacking it when it doesnt work. get upset if it breaks.#hes fully aware hes ruined kowalskis life but he never saw that life as worth anything anyway. what use is another corporate slave?#but a corporate slave taken hostage to act as a puppet? now THATS interesting. NOW hes given kowalskis life value and meaning.#hes grown attached to him the way youd grow attached to the skunk that lives under your porch #its cute. it doesnt necessarily bother you yet. if it ever does try anything though then you get rid of it. its cute from a distance #or should i say he treats him like a pet dog. hm. yes. ill do that. he cares in the way you care about your uncles pet dog he gives to you #you dont necessarily have an attachment to it but hes your responsibility now and you arent just gonna toss it away. so you feed it #and you wash it and take care of it. every single one of kowalskis stitches are from unos hands. all his equipment meticulously upgraded #all from him #it does it on purpose sometimes. tries to get kowalski to be attached to him. itd make manipulating him a hell of a lot easier #he needs kowalski to do his bidding anyways. he cant do all of that himself. they both need each other. theyre both horrible for each other #wow that was a lot of yapping um. tldr uno and kowalski toxic codependants)

I'm kinda scared to send you a gift so please be nice-

*sends him a box of chocolates*

🩵nonnie

[Oh, hey. Would you look at that. Food. Something pretty useful.]

"oh. sick. thanks, actually. this is good."

[Perhaps he'll let Kowalski eat the chocolates... If he has even a gram too much of sugar he'll probably have a heart attack.]

you look like you'd shatter like glass. paper skin and glass bones ahh

"glass-? i wouldn't. i'm much stronger than i look, you know. you wouldn't want to try anything. you'd lose."

[Liar liar pants on fire.]

you look stupid

"wahwahwah yeah and i fucked your mom insert generic response here. you look stupider. idiot."

God I'm so glad we have the same pet peeve holy fuck

I'm a very quick walker but like,,, bRO IF YOU DONT HAVE LONG LEGS WALK FAST

"ha! see? i'm not crazy. bitches need to get out of my way honestly."

whats a pet peeve that you have?

"hm. that's definitely an interesting question."

[He thinks for a moment, idly tapping his finger on his knee.]

"you know what? people who walk too slow. first, if i'm walking behind you on the sidewalk on a normal day, there's not really anywhere for you to go around here but to work. so first i have to deal with being in the presence of more mindless corporate slaves. and then you won't even get to your job in time because, what, you're staring at the latest laska propaganda on your device? MOVE. OUT THE WAY. PLEASE."

>"Oooh, Hello!!! Uhm, I was just- curious how you do your hacking stuff....heheh"

"AH! finally, someone who appreciates my skills. i'm not going to question how you found me, i don't think laska would send someone who looks like this unless they're getting desperate-"

[Wow. Rude much?]

"well, you see, it really varies on what i'm hacking. for example, shutting down a security camera is different than switching the feed so you can see what's on the camera. the security doors run on a different system than internal communications, yada yada... all from my glorious laptop."

[He shows it off to you. It looks entirely like a normal laptop, save for "01" on the cover in red. Could hacking really be that simple...?]

#🌐 rp

you are incredibly corny have you realized that

"wh- CORNY?!"

[Somehow, that's the one insult he actually takes offense to. He's all puffed up like an angry cat.]

"HOW am i CORNY? i'm a COMPLETELY ORIGINAL PERSON, i come up with my own jokes, is it the name? is 01 too basic of a hacker name for you? maybe you should get some real taste."

ooc: hey man do you think they know

(guys they dont know)

#🌐 ooc

why is your name 01 anyway?

"oh, wouldn't you like to know? ha. joking that time. first of all, because it fucking sounds cool and is exactly the type of name a super cool hacker like me would have. second... well, it's just my name. capiche?"

h-eeeey uno. how have you been recently? having fun?

"oh, i've been great. having lots of fun. kowalski's been racking up the kill count a bunch lately. i don't even have to pirate tv shows anymore i just watch him run around like a bug"

hey uno. do you know how to say "you're stupid" in a different language. asking for a friend.

"hm. well there's hangul. 너는 바보야. here, i'll sound it out- neuonun babo-ya. or maybe you want spanish? eres estúpido. actually, both of those are kind of formal- just go PENDEJO i'm sure they'll get the picture. oh, or maybe you want latin-"

[Why would you want to know it in latin.]

— @taken-hostage

[Kowalski leans over Uno's shoulder, watching it tinker with his gun. He's close enough that the other man can feel Kowalski's vest resting on its back.]

"Is it done?"

[Well isn't someone excited.]

[Uno could hear Kowalski stepping closer long before he actually came over. What really surprised him was just how close he was getting. Willingly. Wow. He's adjusted quickly, clearly.]

"mm, almost. something doesn't feel right about it."

[It shows off the gun, adjusting the shitty desk lamp it found in a dumpster somewhere and repurposed so it's better lit. It's swapped out a lot of old parts, but it's still in the same general form as Kowalski's old gun. It presses down on a button, releasing the magazine and raising it up to Kowalski's face.]

"i found parts to extend the magazine, first of all. you can jam more bullets in there before you reload. it just might be a bit wonky to hold, but you'll get used to it."

[He then rummages through a pile next to him with scrap and spare parts, revealing a cylindrical part.]

"and this- this is a detachable silencer. put it on when you're sneaking around, take it off when you actually give a shit about the gun. if you use it too much it can get all fucked up and dirty. and you don't want a dirty gun, do you?"

[He hands the silencer to Kowalski and goes back to staring at the gun itself.]

"... i don't know. it just seems... uninspired."

"Huh."

[Kowalski stands upright, his mind searching for something more efficient.]

"...You could modify the trigger for a shorter reset."

[He suggests, inspecting the silencer in his hands from all angles.]

"The silencer and extended magazine are good starts. This isn't the best silencer I've seen though... these synthetic curtains here would affect velocity and accuracy of the bullets. The magwell could be improved for smoother and faster reloading too..."

[Kowalski goes on a one minute long ramble about the modifications. Only when he looks up does he realize he's been talking for too long.]

"Ah- um. Apologies if I've been speaking too much."

[Embarassing.]

[... Snrk. He chuckles.]

"no, no, it's fine. it's charming."

[He looks over the gun, inspecting it's trigger and other small parts... If Kowalski were to look closer, he'd notice that there's no safety. Which has got to be illegal,]

"if they'd help, i'll look into adding them. it's your gun, anyway."

[Probably the only thing Uno would ever acknowledge as being Kowalski's. Actually, speaking of which, he's not berating him nearly as much as he normally would.]

"... you sure you don't want me to, like.... put any decals on it or anything? maybe some paint or something? it's... so unexpressive..."

[... He looks up at Kowalski.]

"i mean, i guess it's a little fitting,"

[Kowalski internally notes the lack of a safety switch on the gun. He'd bring it up if it wasn't more efficient to not have it. He hands the silencer back to Uno as he speaks.]

"Cosmetics don't serve any purpose. They're not useful."

[This guy hates fun.]

"I would think you of all people would throw useless things away."

[Okay. Now hold on here.]

#🌐 rp #(uno voice shadow wizard money gang we love illegal modifications)

[Okay now hold on a fucking second. It almost looks like Uno's eye twitches.]

"wh- i- hey. i do. asshole. i just thought it be more suitable for you."

[He turns around, crossing his arms while looking up at Kowalski. He's trying very hard to ignore the twinge of pain when he moves. He's been hunched over a shitty makeshift desk for hours. He points an accusatory finger at Kowalski.]

"i thought you of all people would just appreciate the look of a nice, clean, sleek weapon. i mean,"

[He raises the gun up again, brushing over some parts that are scuffed or slightly discolored. They were made from junk pieces, after all. It's impressive how Uno manages to make scrap work for him.]

"look at that. that's embarrassing to be seen with."

[He personally doesn't care how shitty his gear looks. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. He also cares about presentation. Can you imagine being on the news for killing people and your gun doesn't even look good?]

#🌐 rp

— @taken-hostage

[Kowalski leans over Uno's shoulder, watching it tinker with his gun. He's close enough that the other man can feel Kowalski's vest resting on its back.]

"Is it done?"

[Well isn't someone excited.]

[Uno could hear Kowalski stepping closer long before he actually came over. What really surprised him was just how close he was getting. Willingly. Wow. He's adjusted quickly, clearly.]

"mm, almost. something doesn't feel right about it."

[It shows off the gun, adjusting the shitty desk lamp it found in a dumpster somewhere and repurposed so it's better lit. It's swapped out a lot of old parts, but it's still in the same general form as Kowalski's old gun. It presses down on a button, releasing the magazine and raising it up to Kowalski's face.]

"i found parts to extend the magazine, first of all. you can jam more bullets in there before you reload. it just might be a bit wonky to hold, but you'll get used to it."

[He then rummages through a pile next to him with scrap and spare parts, revealing a cylindrical part.]

"and this- this is a detachable silencer. put it on when you're sneaking around, take it off when you actually give a shit about the gun. if you use it too much it can get all fucked up and dirty. and you don't want a dirty gun, do you?"

[He hands the silencer to Kowalski and goes back to staring at the gun itself.]

"... i don't know. it just seems... uninspired."

You genuinely look like fun to be around

Might just be me and how lonely I am, I don't have lots of friends :")

(🩵)

"aw. you think so?"

[He chortles, tilting his head.]

"well, don't be harsh on yourself. you don't see me with very many friends either- that just means no one's good enough to be friends with you!"

[Alright well I dunno about that part,]

"we can keep each other company. well, also kowalski. he'd also be here, but he'll keep quiet if i tell him to be."