Excuse you, my jokes are hilarious. Where does a general keep his armies? ….In his sleevies.
Where do you even get these from? They sound like something straight out of those weird joke books I used to read when I was 8.
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@puckermanelijah
Excuse you, my jokes are hilarious. Where does a general keep his armies? ….In his sleevies.
Where do you even get these from? They sound like something straight out of those weird joke books I used to read when I was 8.
Paired greatly with my lack of social skills, I’ve decided to start off any attempt with a joke. So, that said, what do you call a clever duck?
….a wise-quacker
And I thought my jokes were bad.
txt mssg: olivia x elijah
OLIVIA: Uh-huh, I think you're just trying to cover up that your lame ass went to bed at 9pm.
OLIVIA: Yeah, it was an alright night, but I've had better. What'd you do instead?
ELIJAH: Not true! My phone died, I swear. And lame ass? That's not what you said the other night.
ELIJAH: Oh, you know- snorted some weed, smoked an alcohol. The usual. No, I played video games and then crashed. Pretty standard night for me.
A charmer, I see. Nice to meet you, Eli. Pounding headache sick, and yes that sounds lovely, because I’m told I can’t trust Jack’s cooking.
Why thanks. I'd like to think so. You too, other Fabray.
I think I know the dude you're talking about. I'll whip something good up for you.
Guess who found $100? Did you say Nikki? ‘Cause you’re right. I’m $100 richer. You jealous or nah?
How did you just find $100?
Getting sick isn’t how I planned to start the day.
Oli's sister, right? I can tell 'cause you're just as beautiful.
I'm Elijah, but call me Eli. What kinda sick are you feeling? I've been told that the chicken soup I make is amazing, if you need anything like that.
What makes it worse? Pokemon Y was in it. God damn it.
…Why did you drop it in the toilet? Did just that. Now I have to wait. He’s strong, he’s gotta make it.
Ouch.
My dumbass roommate spilled water on the bathroom floor one time and didn't clean it up, so I slipped when I walked in. I play my DS on the toilet. Don't judge. How'd you get him messed up? Same thing?
txt mssg: olivia x elijah
OLIVIA: Any plans tonight? A few of us are heading to a nightclub, if you wanna come.
[the next morning]
ELIJAH: Shiiit my phone died last night, sorry babe.
ELIJAH: Hope you had a good time though. :)
❝hummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia ✿
TAGGING→ Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAME→ Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION → Eli’s apartment.
GENERAL NOTES → This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
Crap, crap, crappity crap. Is there any way to save a waterlogged DS and game? I need the Nintendo ambulance to come and bring mine to hospital, stat. Little Ace isn’t going to hold out for much longer.
That kinda hurt to read, bro.
I dropped mine in the toilet once. Bag of rice, 24 hours. Little Ace might just live to see another day.
❝hummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia ✿
TAGGING→ Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAME→ Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION → Eli’s apartment.
GENERAL NOTES → This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
❝hummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia ✿
TAGGING→ Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAME→ Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION → Eli’s apartment.
GENERAL NOTES → This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
❝hummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia ✿
TAGGING→ Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAME→ Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION → Eli’s apartment.
GENERAL NOTES → This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
❝hummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia ✿
TAGGING→ Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAME→ Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION → Eli’s apartment.
GENERAL NOTES → This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
Well it’s nice to meet you, Eli.
Hell yeah, dude. I think I’ve seen you around, too.
Right back at ya, Chris.
Cool. If you ever want a jam sesh, you should totally hit me up.
Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
I like you. What are you doing later today?
I approve, very much so. You better treat me more nicely. I may be badass like Harley, but I’m not a fucking pushover like her and I will kick your ass if you get out of line. But I do trust we won’t have any issues there. I don’t know if it’s rude to ask, but you can’t speak? (Totally not judging you or anything, just making sure I read that right.)
Actually, I was hoping to spend some quality time with this seriously beautiful girl I just met. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, cute smile- you know her?
Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less. Nah, it's cool. People ask all the time. I was born mute. It's not all bad, though. A lot of ladies really dig the sensitive silent types.
Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
Whenever you’ve got the time, I’m sure I’ll be able to fit you into my schedule.
Oli and Eli, nice. Why do I get the feeling that I’ve just found a new partner in crime? Eli’s good by me, though I’m sure “handsome” will probably be slipped into our conversations a few more times accidentally. Or purposely— whatever.
I don't think I'd ever not have the time for someone like you.
That's probably because you have. You can be the Harley to my Joker- although I'll treat you much nicer. Trust me, beautiful, if I could talk you wouldn't hear the end of it from me.