posting from the paris of killing yourself

I love the public forum but I don't think it loves me back. ... eternal demimondaine!

[pukatronic]

im finding eating hard in a fun and interesting new ways divorced from my eating disorder

[pukatronic]

I'm so sick of having emotional reactions to things. I'd love to wipe the slate blank and rewire myself with nothing but burning anger and disinterest.

[pukatronic]

so I'm living in the bombed out empty shell that this made me now and I gotta say. I would not recommend it

[pukatronic]

maybe I should make up a gimmick to troll people with because I want people to hate me more than just passively

[pukatronic]

I'm literally the biggest revolutionary thinker I'm the world it's just that nothing will happen and no one will ever know because I'm so far removed from the human consciousness and social order

[pukatronic]

I hate that the most wide interpretation of creep is a basic reading and translation of it. I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul. it's not romantic in nature. it's not about love. it's not about looking good or actually having a good looking perfect physical body. you guys are so stupid

[pukatronic]

I pray to God for the strength to reject everything and armor myself so strongly that I appear to be not of this world

[pukatronic]

I'm so sick of having emotional reactions to things. I'd love to wipe the slate blank and rewire myself with nothing but burning anger and disinterest.

[pukatronic]

so angry that I can't get drugs. WTF is even the point if I have to go throughout the rest of my life remembering true beauty but never being able to go back to it

[pukatronic]

IDGAFFFFF I HAVE HATE IN MY HEART SO FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE ITS JUST ME AND MY HATE

[pukatronic]

I know that my past burdens and beliefs have been placed upon me so that I may look upon the most foul garden within my mind with pride, knowing I cultivated such a nasty crop of thoughts and delusions!

I look forward to the seeds that have yet to be planted, and the sprouts that have yet to poke their arms from the ground! yet to speak of the thoughts as they grow into a nubile strength of festering darkness and depravity

[pukatronic]

no one made me talk like a reddit neckbeard here. so what was up with that

[pukatronic]

I was reading strange angels and I got halfway through before I put it down and gave up. it's good but I just hit a wall where I couldn't continue and even when I knew the outcome, I still couldn't push through. I'm not sensitive to tht stuff idk why j couldn't hack it

[pukatronic]

why has my specific mental burden for these past few months been caused by sex. this is so incredibly pedestrian. BOREDDDD!!! BRING BACK THE PSYCHOSIS WAITER!!!!

[pukatronic]

I hate that I've pretty much become a pillow princess but the minute im doing the touching my heart sends an electric shock across my body and my brain is knocked like twelve feet out of my head and more often than not I freeze up. like FML I know I'm the bad guy in this situation but it's so hard to force myself through the action and I'm kind of sick of it now that I know how good the other side of equation can be without having to feel that way FUCKKK IM SUVH A BAD PERSON

something something my own inherent selfishness strikes again something something I am evil whatever

[pukatronic]

this is actually really embarrassing because of how distressing it is. I've always thought myself above caring about what happens to or with my body. it's all just a body this should not matter to me at all

[pukatronic]

why has my specific mental burden for these past few months been caused by sex. this is so incredibly pedestrian. BOREDDDD!!! BRING BACK THE PSYCHOSIS WAITER!!!!

[pukatronic]

I hate that I've pretty much become a pillow princess but the minute im doing the touching my heart sends an electric shock across my body and my brain is knocked like twelve feet out of my head and more often than not I freeze up. like FML I know I'm the bad guy in this situation but it's so hard to force myself through the action and I'm kind of sick of it now that I know how good the other side of equation can be without having to feel that way FUCKKK IM SUVH A BAD PERSON

something something my own inherent selfishness strikes again something something I am evil whatever

[pukatronic]

why has my specific mental burden for these past few months been caused by sex. this is so incredibly pedestrian. BOREDDDD!!! BRING BACK THE PSYCHOSIS WAITER!!!!

[pukatronic]

I'm so fucked in the head in ways that no one will ever know or comprehend

[pukatronic]

I know that my past burdens and beliefs have been placed upon me so that I may look upon the most foul garden within my mind with pride, knowing I cultivated such a nasty crop of thoughts and delusions!

I look forward to the seeds that have yet to be planted, and the sprouts that have yet to poke their arms from the ground! yet to speak of the thoughts as they grow into a nubile strength of festering darkness and depravity

[pukatronic]

none of that bothers me now, though. none of my old distress hampers me, and now I've exhausted banality and normatively, I'm exceedingly bright eyed as I turn towards the grotesque and malformed! the joy I feel to examine, once again, the worst of me and revel in it!