Pumpkin Shit Reviews

I try pumpkin shit so you don't have to

[7moths]

[octobersgold]

[fortheloveofautumn]

Halloween candy by laliparikh on Flickr.

[pumpkinshitreviews]

Candy Pumpkin

Everyone knows these little fuckers don't taste anything like pumpkin, but fuck if you can stop eating them. Something about the taste of orange dye # 46 and candle wax is just so addicting.

My rating: Unnecessary.

[pumpkinshitreviews]

Kroger Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread

I picked this up over the weekend. It's pretty decent as a flavored spread-- sweet but not too sweet, creamy consistency, etc. I'm not 100% sure it actually tastes like pumpkin, though. At first bite I thought it did, but now that I've had a bit more, I'm not sure I still feel that way. It's tasty, but if you put it in a blind tasting with other cream cheeses, I'm not sure I'd be able to pick out that this one was pumpkin.

My rating: 2.5/5

[pumpkinshitreviews]

Pumpkin Snickers

I found one of these at my local CVS. I was instantly intrigued, but of course, cautious.

They’re jack-o-lantern shaped, which is no big surprise. I actually ended up liking the candy— it’s a bit creamier than your average snickers, and softer. I’d eat these over the ordinary Snickers bar. That being said, it doesn’t taste anything like pumpkin.

My rating: 3/5

[pumpkinshitreviews]

Milano Pumpkin Spice Cookies

So, I was super pumped when I saw these in stores. Milano mint cookies are one of my secret loves. So, I was extra let down when these were absolute crap. I mean, they aren’t terrible as cookies— they taste like cookies, and they aren’t terrible. But they’re rather bland, and they taste NOTHING like pumpkin or spice or anything even remotely related. I expected better from you, Milano.

My rating: 1.5/5

[pumpkinshitreviews]

Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Cheesecake Soft Dessert Cookies

(I’m amused by the “soft dessert cookies” name. Is there another type of cookie that isn’t meant as dessert?)

I was way more excited about the Milano cookies than these, but these ended up being better! The cookie is soft, and actually DOES taste a little like pumpkin! A first for this blog! The “cheesecake drops,” though, aren’t at all cheesecakey— they’re basically white chocolate. I’m not the biggest fan of white chocolate, so I only ate one or two of these cookies, but the rest of my office gobbled them up.

My rating: 3.5/5