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The Stonewall Inn
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@pure-ambrosia
This place
"It’s just that.." Penny took a deep breath. "I felt betrayed. And you know how much loyality matters to me"
"The only reason I didn't tell you was because it happened the day before he asked you, and I figured that it just didn't mean anything to him. And you seemed excited, I didn't want to ruin it for you because I can't keep my legs shut."
This place
Okay [ Penny took a deep breath ] Sorry if I disappeared, but I cought a terrible cold -I didn’t even see the Quidditch match
It's fine, I just want to talk. I mean, you can hate me or whatever, but we do dorm together and have another two years living together after this year.
This place
Has gotten so boring. Someone needs to talk to me before I go insane.
I'm finally done with my homework!
It’s time to have a bath!
Do you still want to talk, or are you just going to get naked?
Is it too soon for jokes?
Ridiculous
"Then you know what, tell them that. Show them the shit that’s going on around here and open their damn eyes because maybe they’ll listen to you kids, ‘cause they aren’t listening to us adults. Do something about it." He said huffing out anger.
"The fight for that one thing you love, and what if you die before it? What’s gunna happen to it then? It won’t matter if you leave it behind like that! Then it’ll be pointless! You want that love to be pointless? I really don’t think you do. Who cares about fucking blood status you are? I bet that thing you love doesn’t care.. so why should it matter to any world out there." He shook his head in disbelief. "Then make them remember. Make them remember your name and make them regret not ever looking at you twice and make them care. Standing around here saying no one will care, will make them not care. Prove them wrong.. show ‘em!"
"They don't give a fuck! Ya think they're really gonna do anythin'? I bring it up an' I'm goin' ta be put in some fucking group home an' that'll be it! An' you know what? I don't want to be in some fucking orphanage! Why would I? At least at home I can get a summer job an' have money of my own, right? S' better than being holed up with 20 other kids, innit?" She let out a bitter laugh.
"You don't get it! I'm not leavin' him behind! I'll be lucky if he makes it ta the time I get out into the war. 'Cause I'd never leave 'im behind! That damn thin' is the only one that loves me. A fuckin' cat, yeah? An' he loves me 'cause I saved 'im." She rolled her eyes. "No, I don't want them to fuckin' remember me! What the fuck is there ta remember? Huh? I don't even know what I am, who I am! What the hell do I have ta build off of? I'm not lovable! I ain't able ta be friends with people, or have relationships! I never learned how ta do that! I didn't have anyone, growin' up! No friends in primary school, no mum, no siblings, all I had was some sad excuse for a father! By the time I got here ,I was already incapable of bein' loved. All I am is sex, drugs, and rock music!" She counted the three things off on her fingers. "I'm not even a person! I'm nothin'! Happy ya know, now? 'Cause now you're right, yeah? You're better than me an' had a harder life, an' ya know so much better than I do. Well, congratulations, Professor!" She spat out the last bit and turned to leave.
Ridiculous
"You won’t know until its gone. You might find something along the way, it being anything, and you can keep going. Things change all the time.. you aren’t the only one fate has to take care of."
"I don't want ta live without it, Professor. I don't have anythin' else in this world. I mean, yeah, I've got magic, but what use is it ta have magic if I can't use it? The one time I used it outside of Hogwarts, ta protect myself, I got some shit letter sayin' that if I used it again, I'd be expelled from Hogwarts." She shook her head.
"So when I'm not here, an' it comes down ta it, I'd die instead of defendin' meself 'cause if I defend meself I get stuck there ta die anyway. That world don't want me an' this one don't either. In this world I'm a mudblood, yeah. That word ya hate so much, yeah? Well, that's what I am! There is only one thin' that I have, that I love in this world, only one thin' that loves me. So screw fate an' screw tryin' ta find somethin' else ta keep me goin'. I'm not gonna go back ta how it used ta be for me! I'm not gonna be alone! So what if I die? So fuckin' what! Ya know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna get buried with the money I put away for meself ta get buried with. An' then, my body is gonna rot, an' no one is gonna give one fuck about poor little Ambrosia MacHurst! Not one bloody person."
Ridiculous
"Why? You have so much more ahead of you.. so much potential.. don’t do what I did and fuck it up. You deserve it… you may not think you do but I see that you do."
"It's not a matter of what I think I deserve. It's more ta do with what I can't live without. I've only got one thin' in this life worth livin' for. An' it ain't magic, or some stupid bloke, an' when it's gone, I want ta be gone too."
Ridiculous
No.. nothing wrong with that.. but what are you gunna do if you live? I mean you can’t exactly plan your death.” He furrowed his brows slightly. ”
"If I live, I'll find a way to die. There are things going on in the Muggle World as well, I'm sure that I can find a way to die a respectable death." She shrugged.
Ridiculous
"Nothing personal. You aren’t the first to try." He shrugged. "Good to know we are on the same page then. Let’s just close the damn book and let it collect dust. So that can be that." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Why don’t you wanna survive the war? There isn’t a point in fighting if you plan on giving up."
"I have my reasons. Though I'm not plannin' on givin' up, Sir. Hopefully, I'll die in someone else's place, or somethin' equally meanin'ful." She raised her eyebrows. "Ya got a problem with that?"
Ridiculous
"If I was I wouldn’t be me. If you knew the things I went through.. you’d be the same way. So its hard for you to understand half of what I’m going through. Yeah we’ve both been through it all but you have so much further to go. So don’t pretend you got it all figured out, because something is gunna come along fuck your logic right down to hell." He stood unphased by her tone and glare. "Wait a few years and get back to me on that would you?"
"There is no gettin' through ta ya, I guess. But I never once said I understood ya, or your life. I don't, just like ya don't understand a god damned thin' about mine. So don't pretend that ya know what I do, or do not have figured out. Nothin' is ever gonna break my logic, 'cause I won't ever let anyone." She turned to leave. "I won't be 'round in a few years. I'll be dead, Sir." She turned back to face him as she got closer to the door. "I ain't out livin' this war an' that's how I want it ta be."
Ridiculous
"All the good died with the bad. So what I am I left with? Nothing.. That’s the point! That’s why I’m angry I have nothing! NO family most of my friends turned me away so why not be angry at the world? I don’t want anything good because when things get bad good goes away." He shook his head harshly. "Yeah and how well has that paid off?"
"Can't ya just be grateful ya had anythin' good ta begin with? Ya coulda had nothin'! Ya coulda never had anythin' worth havin'! Ya know what I have? A cat! That's all the world gave me was a cat! But I appreciate 'im! I appreciate 'im more than anythin'. And ya just go around like a bloody saddo 'cause ya want somethin' good in your life! So go get it! Stop fuckin' pissin' on the world cause ya think it owes ya somethin' good! Go fuckin' find it yourself!" She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice to a dangerously low tone. "It has paid off better than you'll ever understand. An' don't ya for a second think that it hasn't. Ya have no idea what I come from an' what I have ta go back ta."
Ridiculous
"They people who did it are dead.. the world is next in line. I don’t care if the world doesn’t care, that doesn’t change a damn thing." He scoffed disapprovingly. "Maybe you shouldn’t care about me and what I do. It’ll keep you outta a bad mood. I’ll bring you down.."
"They're dead an' ya still act like this? You don't even have ta put up with 'em and ya hate the world. Are ya that ungrateful? Maybe ya should pull your head outta your arse, Professor. You're so damn busy bein' angry at the world that you've forgotten the good thin's in life." She shakes her head. "Ya can't bring me down, Sir. I ain't some stupid little girl who lets other people put her down, not anymore. I'm better than that now, an' I worked damn hard to be this way."
Ridiculous
"Its better than being dead. Is that positive enough for you? I could of offed myself a long time ago and yet here I am standing here screaming at you, trying to prove myself. You know what.. I am gunna blame the world because that’s whose fault it is. So I’m gunna fuck the world and not expect anyone to give a shit about it. I’m not waiting for anyone to show me a light, cause its not coming. Why should I even care about it? Imma turn this back on you. You say you have no friends and better off alone then why are you telling me this, why do you care? Because this sure as hell doesn’t look like not caring to me."
"Blame the world all ya like, Professor, but I doubt the world did you wrong. It was someone, or multiple people. The world, though? No, it wasn't the world, the world doesn't care enough to do it." She shook her head. "I don't have friends and I am better off alone, I meant that when I said it. But not caring? No, that's not me. I care very much, because I know what it's like when no one else does."
Ridiculous
"It is a fucking accomplishment!" He finally snapped at her his hands banging on the desk. "You have no room to be talking about this with me when you no nothing about it." He shoved himself up from his desk forcefully. "If there isn’t any light then I’m not making ti to the end. That’s how it is.. don’t you try and force any of that you gotta make your way shit on me. That’s not an option it can never be."
She laughed, "It is a fuckin' accomplishment, huh? Are ya sure? 'Cause you're so bloody miserable, it doesn't seem like one." She moved towards him a bit, raising her voice. "I don't have ta know anythin' about it. Ya fuckin' had a tough life, yeah? Some bad shit happened? So what, you're just gonna blame the fuckin' world? Ya think that someone's gonna pick ya up and show ya the light? Are ya that dim? Really, are ya? No one is ever gonna show ya the light! No one, Professor! Man the fuck up and do it yourself, 'cause otherwise, you're gonna be sittin' around with your thumb up your arse waitin'."
Ridiculous
"I’ve gotten this far.. " He shrugged. "I just don’t see the light at the end of this tunnel like you do.. not yet. Hopefully that’ll change.."
"I've gotten this far." She mocked him, yet again testing him. "Sounds like a bloody accomplishment when ya say it like that." She said sarcastically. "There ain't no light at the end of the tunnel, ya tosser, ya gotta make your own. That's what ya got a wand for, innit? An' if ya ain't got that spell down I'm sure ya got some bloody matches around, yeah?"
Ridiculous
He grumbled something under his breath that sounded something along the lines of ‘yeah okay’ before rummaging through the essays for hers. He finally pulled it out and took a moment to skim over. “Looks like you got the concept down pretty well.”
"I know you're supposed ta be the teacher, but ya got a lot ta learn, Sir. Ya keep thinkin' like ya do an' you're gonna feel like shit more an' more."
