Loveless Boy @purity4theweak - Tumblr Blog

"Nobody's ever safe ."

Why does being here have to be so painful. I'm so fucking tired. I'm sick. I stayed . For you. And still I suffer. Living this long. 28 . Too fucking long people live too fucking long...turn to my friend who turned enemy . Smiling teeth meant to devour......in the mirror I see weak to other they see monster.

I made a deal with time.

Now its slipping by too fast.

I cant borrow from the future .

To make up for the past.

Forever forsaken.

Always mistaken.

Far from a dream i once held dear.

Once again its time to RUN.

I love the word broken.

It describes me perfectly.

I see the storm as a shelter

I hold onto the wind to keep me warm.

Ill never escape my darkness.

But I will learn to love myself there.

The lies you tell fill the cracks in my heart.

Tell me you love me to stop the self hatred.

Monsters have the prettiest faces....

Addicted to everything.

Chemical dependent.

Independent im alone untill I die i know.

Sometimes id rather live a lie .

Than live alone.

But I can't escape myself.

Ive wandered too far...

Forgotten who you are.

Always the one to love and lose.

You did not love me and lost nothing.

Wrapped up in self-demise.

I hide behind my disguise.

Clouded thoughts I try to think.

I try to see but cannot hear.

Clouded mind .

Filled with drugs and lies.

Self-taught values dissapear.

Morals i had matter no more.

My heart is sore

My head is numb.

So much doubt.

I feel so dumb.

Feeling low.

Time is spinning.

Wont slow.

Emotions on front.

Intelligence on the back burner.

Im alwayd in love with a liar.

Pain is my supplier.

Im feeling low.

Self-hate is all I know.

If this is it.

I may let the red water flow.

I dont want to die.

I just want to feel ok.

Will it be ok?

Will i be ok?

Where are you?

I saved you...

Because I thought you would save me...

But you left me to drown.

And you fed me lies.

Lies i devoured until i died.

I wasnt trying to be rude.

Im just ignorant.

Theres a differnece between the drama and the trauma....

My innocence was taken before I had a voice.

Left with the curse of a man I never knew.

The choice was made before I could speak.

They thought they were saving me .

I made my choices.

And still walked the same path as him.

I wonder what good is a lie.

It doesnt protect.

Fate cannot be bargained with.

I've lived on borrowed time.

I never knew why but now I'm 28

Maybe the truth would of saved me .

All the trauma all the pain.

Some scars of mine will heal but

The ones deep inside are with me till the end.

understands

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