Ryan’s Sexy Little Homebrew

Hey I’m Ryan. I like rocks & old dead things preferably of the reptile persuasion. I’ve had this blog since middle school I’m sorry.

[saintsatellite-deactivated20240]

all my haters become gators when I travel through the bayou of success

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[creekfiend]

a funny thing about having conversations with people within institutions (academic in this case but also others) about gatekeeping, is that you end up having a conversation over and over in which you're like, "hey this alligator spike pit moat you have erected around your institution is keeping a lot of people out," and they're like, "well *I* navigated the alligator spike pit moat just fine," and you're like, "right. by dint of us having this conversation, you within the institution and me without, it is understood that you navigated the alligator spike pit moat. due to that being an inherent requirement of entering the institution," and they're like, "I don't think you understand the prestigious history of our alligator spike pit moat," and you're like, "is there a reason why there needs to be an alligator spike pit moat encircling the concept of higher education?" and they're like, "look, the alligator spike pit moat isn't for everyone. some people just aren't cut out for the alligator spike pit moat :)" and you're like, "right, yeah, like disabled people and people coming from poverty or unstable home environments or underserved communities or people dealing with difficult to navigate life events like pregnancy or abuse or prison or addiction or the death of a loved one, for example" and they're like, "how dare you imply that we are keeping those people out on purpose. it's their own problem if they can't wrestle the alligators and avoid the spikes while also disabled and/or poor and/or pregnant etc" and you're like, "well that seems evil," and they're like, "it sounds like maybe you're just bitter about the alligator spike pit moat because of your totally random individual experience with ONE bad alligator spike pit moat. have you considered therapy?" and you're like, "did you know that there's some patterns here in terms of how y'all are handling this stuff?" and they're like, "actually yes. we even have a department of alligator spike pit studies :)" and you're like, "that's great, how do I get access to and participate in those conversations?" and they're like, "well firstly you must cross the alligator spike pit moat"

[creekfiend]

if you can document that you have a medical condition that might make it challenging for you to navigate the alligator spike pit moat, they'll give you an extra 20 minutes to complete your navigation of the alligator spike pit moat

[rabbitindisguise]

and if you're like "I think the alligator spike pit moat is unnecessary" they're like "so you believe we should destroy the scientific method!" and you're like "well, no."

[creekfiend]

GOD THAT'S SO TRUE

[visenyaism]

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

[mellie-mp3]

[mellie-mp3]

u heard about this shit?

[onlinebeast]

We are fucked

[animentality]

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[theabigailthorn]

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

[drtrinitysantos]

sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[zmpl]

can you imagine what it will be like the day it finally happens. no one will be posting about anything else. category 10 posting event. if it happens because of someone else their gofundme page will reach over $500,000 within a day. #hopecore

[dracoj]

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.

[alex51324]

Yeah the thing is, when you're a kid, there are often a lot of people going out of their way to make things fun for you: parents, other family members, your friends' parents/families, adults at school and at community places like libraries...and that's on top of your friends your own age, and the general fact that as a kid having fun is one of your top priorities.

And then if you go to college, there aren't quite so many people making things fun for you--although there are RAs, and the student life office, and various clubs and organizations doing activities, etc.--but you're in an environment where your friends are nearby and you all have similar schedules and responsibilities, so a lot fun just kind of arises spontaneously.

But once you're out on your own, in the workforce and whatnot, all that just drops of a cliff. Planned activities for adults exist, but you generally have to seek them out, rather than having them relentlessly advertised to you and/or taking place in locations where you will bump into them on the way to breakfast. And your friends are all spread out, and everyone's busy at different times, so you aren't just bumping into people and getting sucked into whatever adventure they have going on, you have to make arrangements.

It's a big shift! If you have kids, you generally figure out pretty quick that your role is now the Planner Of Fun, but without that big obvious signpost, it can feel like the world just gradually stopped having fun things in it.

But it hasn't; you just have to plan and seek out opportunities for fun yourself, because it's no longer anyone else's job to put them in front of you--it's yours!

TL:DR, when you're an adult you've got to take yourself to the aquarium and pick out a plushie in the gift shop and pay for it with your own credit card; you don't just wake up one day and find out that's happening. (Or that it's a have-dinner-on-a-picnic-blanket-in-the-living-room day, or that you're going to your cousins' house where you can splash around in the creek and look for frogs, or that's it's the day when we put the speakers in the window and let the music echo in the alley down below while we wash the car, or anything!)

[larkandkatydid]

It’s cool how we found the secret elixir that cures all human disease and it’s in this guy’s bitey little mouth

[larkandkatydid]

What this guy’s bitey little mouth has been recently up to:

[sauriansolutions]

This is why scientists study everything.

[mikkeneko]

Put this picture in your pocket, next time you get into an argument with someone about 'useless' scientific studies, ask them "Do you think that we should give funding to study the mating habits of endangered iguanas in the Sonoran desert, or should we be funding cures for alzheimer's and diabetes?" and then when they say "Of course we should be using that money to fund cures!" you can whip out this picture and say "trick question, it's the same thing"

[funny-tik-toks]

[kayas-wife]

this is from an Australian youtube channel where they go to hat tower and drop things

[white-throated-packrat]

Water doesn’t compress very much, so once it hit it’s terminal velocity, it was basically a solid ball, not a liquid. This is why you can use water to cut things if you have a high enough pressurized jet of it.

[gigglingkat]

The reverse POV of “if you’re too high, hitting the water is like hitting concrete”

[bitchassslytherinsnakery]

Well that's not in one piece anymore

[succumbing-song]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

If you are here, you need to not be.

The mandatory evacuation zone stretches from Ball Road to the north, Trask Avenue to the south, Valley View Street to the west and Dale Avenue to the east. That includes parts of Garden Grove, Cypress, Stanton, Anaheim, Buena Park and Westminster.

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

Potential blast zone:

[rudjedet]

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

[thatlittleegyptologist]

The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

[rudjedet]

‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 

The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

[rudjedet]

The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

[rudjedet]

While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

[rudjedet]

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

[rudjedet]

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion 

[rudjedet]

Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks

[chronic-backpain]

Excuse me please post ancient erotica link

[rudjedet]

hey it’s not my fault people keep reblogging the version without it!

[hazard-and-friends]

sequence of events leading to my wife laughing so hard she pulls a muscle

-> I put frozen scallion pancakes into hot oil -> NOISE TM -> Penny, who has always hated the sound and smell of water meeting hot oil, SCRAMBLES down from the cat tree and bolts down the hall under the bed -> Dogs naturally scramble to follow -> Hazard follows Penny into the bedroom -> K'seil, who initially ran to the cat tree, has for a crucial second and a half lost visual contact with the cat and completely loses track of her -> K'seil spends a solid minute FRANTICALLY racing around the room leaping over furniture and whining, staring into the cat tree, trying to figure out Where The Cat Has Gone. She seems genuinely concerned that the oil sound may have been the cat spontaneously evaporating -> I lead her into the bedroom to show her where the cat is -> She looks everywhere in the bedroom except under the bed, which is occupied currently by a cat -> K'seil is still casting occasional concerned looks at the cat tree. We think she still hasn't figured it out. -> K'seil got her Nosework 2 title yesterday. -> she says well I wasn't finding cats at nosework :/