it's so cold.

but someday i will burn, bright enough, good enough, warm enough to hold in your hands. someday i'll have the sun inside me and no one will ever let go of me again. my name is Frisk. [[ this is an ask and rp blog for Frisk, a character from the game Undertale, according to the Empty Hands AU! ]] [[ icon is by gyozafaerie! the image on the right is by the incredible seissouls! ]] [[ this blog is currently under construction.  please wait! ]]

[purplepeoplesweater]

*

Chara?

*

*

...it is you. it’s you.

i’m sorry.

*

i didn’t, i

...i mean yeah. we’re back.

we’re back here.

*

i didn’t forget that!

it’s time to do it all over again.

we can be strong.

i trust you, Chara.

*

[purplepeoplesweater]

* it’s kind of like swimming.

* i’m all alone, and it’s empty, and it’s trying to pull me away.

* i don’t remember how long i’ve been in here.

* i think that’s nice.

* ...

* oh. chara would say it out loud.

* i see a light.

* there’s a light

* at the end of the tunnel

* which is going to swallow me.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* but i'm still here. i'm still here and that's wrong. * i need to find them. Chara. * i can't do this or anything else without them. * that's a plan, right? * plans always help Chara calm down. * i want to disappear and i know it's my fault that i can't disappear and i want to disappear and i want to hurt. * but Chara would be calm now. * Chara would know what to do. * Chara would know where i am. * so it can't be that hard. * ...i want to stop thinking and disappear.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* what is the world waiting for? * we did SAVE, but there's nothing there now, or i can't find it, i don't know. * Chara's not talking to me. * did we lose too many times? is it over? * was that all it took? * was that all we needed to do? * i could have done that.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* eight ten twelve fourteen sixteen eighteen twenty * three six nine twelve fourteen, sixteen, eighteen, twenty-one, twenty-four, twenty-seven, thirty * four eight twelve sixteen twenty, twenty-four, twenty-eight, thirty-two, thirty-six, forty * am i calming down? it's not working. Chara, it's * five ten fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty

[purplepeoplesweater]

* Chara?

* Chara?

* i can’t hear their voice at all. something’s not right.

* maybe i’m not listening hard enough.

* maybe they’re not here.

* what if they’re not here?

* am i dying? is that why it’s so quiet?

* that’s good. i should… just wait. i should. i should.

* i don’t feel right.

* Chara? is that you?

* Chara, please stop, just let me

* help me, Chara. please. we haven’t finished! we aren’t done!

* please help me.

* please. someone. anyone.

* please, help me.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* there’s a gap in between the end and the beginning.

* it’s like the gap between going to sleep and waking up. pitch black. nothing at all.

* but i’m not asleep. i’m awake.

* i’m just… here. in the gap.

* no floor. no walls. no echoes. no current pulling us back in.

* Chara?

* i know we don’t deserve it. but i hope they can feel this.

* this quiet.

* i wish we always were this quiet.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* i need Chara, and Chara needs me.

* it’s not fair to them if i complain.

* but i hate this.

* why isn’t it over yet?

* why can’t we just end this story?

* i’ve been trying, i really have been. i think. i know.

* am i not good enough, even to die?

[[ okay i should have mentioned this earlier but!! this blog is now open and active at last! ]]

[drwingdings-blog]

I☼relevant, here. You have to exist to be able ❄o harm.

[frisking-in-time-and-space-blog]

My LV? It’s one–the same as it’s been since I Fell. That may change in the future, though…

Are there…two people with you? Who exactly are you? And how are you even talking to us?

[purplepeoplesweater]

one? but you’re—

* 

—old.

i don’t have a name.

but i know where i am.

outside.

* 

there’s nothing here. not even us.

* 

as empty as the watery waste at the beginning of... are you sure?

* 

* 

yeah. potential. energy. determination. that’s the point.

i can’t stay here forever. the world can’t...

* 

...can’t cleanse itself of our existence so easily.

and you have the same problem!

you have the SAVE file. you’ve got to have it, because i don’t.

so now you load.

and you kill us again.

right, partner? right?

[drwingdings-blog]

Then I’ll get s❄arted on preparing.

The same thing as always will happe☠ to me: nothing. I will be fine here–

…Ah.

It would seem we ☟ave an extra gue💧t on my end of the conversation.

Hello, you t🕈o.

[frisking-in-time-and-space-blog]

Oh! We do!

I…don’t know who they are, though. They seem to know me, though?

Um…hi there! You seem to know who I am already, but I’m Frisk Dreemurr, and you can call me Luz. Are you, er, from the Void, or from the universe we’re talking about?

[purplepeoplesweater]

you.

* 

* 

* 

hallo.

* 

i am smiling.

sorry.

it is nice to meet you.

what’s your LV?

[drwingdings-blog]

I am, or was, or… shou☹d have been, perhaps… Dr. Gaster.

The pieces bro😐en from a fall that never was. A man that ne✞er was from a time ❄hat never came to be.

But it’s alright. It’s alright. There are health✡ branches to my his 💣✡ the timeline. Alterations. Variations. Differences in timing.

If you wish, I can find a fra☝ment like the one you knew, who knew some branch of you. I can alte☼ the portion of his machines in the ✞oid, a little. Make him make contact the way the old branch did.

It will be close to him. Safer than the one you knew, but the same man. Your history with him 🕈ill be little changed.

…I don’t know if that’s eno🕆gh.

[frisking-in-time-and-space-blog]

Oh.

Oh.

Does that mean you’re the version of Gaster that…you’re the version of Gaster that Sans killed himself to save?

Jesus. I. I don’t know what to say other than “sorry”. Gods, I’d be so pissed off if I were him: erase myself from existence to give my world and family a second chance only for Chara to fuck everything up again. I sure didn’t make things better, either. Ha ha ha.

…

…

I see.

If that’s the only way, then do it. I refuse to have it all be for nothing. Sans sacrificed himself to give Gaster, Pap, Alphys, Undyne…to give everyone a future. Even if it’s technically not the Dr. G I knew, the timeline I knew…as long as it still exists, it means that Sans didn’t sacrifice himself in vain. We can’t go back, so we have to keep going forward, right? For everyone’s sake.

What will happen to you, though?

[purplepeoplesweater]

*

yeah, but the leg wouldn’t move. i think it was broken.

*

the arm wouldn’t have worked.

i tried.

i’m sorry.

*

no i promise i’m not! i promise.

i’m trying my best. i don’t want you to get hurt.

*

i’m past that now.

we both are.

we’ll do better next time.

*

me too.

*

...why are we still outside?

the door’s shut and the key is gone.

but

i hear voices.

*

i know i know

hallo? who’s there?

it’s the human!

i’m going to kill you!

i’m going to kill everyone!

[incxntrxl-deactivated20160828]

The End.

They sat there quietly. It had been a long journey, one they had been close to giving up on time and time again.

All the emotions; frustration, warmth, happiness and sadness

Dread. Unease.

Relief and joy, pity and

Anger. A roiling hate in their core.

Despite everything, it was never enough. It was, in the monsters’ eyes, Frisk who had won. Frisk, the savior of the underground, the only hope of human and monster kind. It was their determination that enabled the game to be played, right?

No. Frisk was just a child, a clueless puppet. Nothing would have happened if They had not taken control. Where was Their thanks? There were no kind words for Them, no recognition. Could Frisk even feel what they’d felt? The bittersweet feeling of happiness and fear mixed into one? One the game ended they would cease to matter, no longer exist. Their friends would disappear from their life, living their time in gratitude of Frisk. Everything they’d worked so hard for, gone. Meaningless.

Just like them.

No.

They wouldn’t let it.

> Out of my way.

They snarled at the flower. Wasn’t it rich, wasn’t it hilarious? That when things went wrong suddenly they were recognized, suddenly they were to blame. Yes, truly, the real demon that comes when you called their name. It soured their stomach to think of the hypocrisy. This time they didn’t need Frisk.  This time they would make sure that the monsters of the Underground knew who was to thank 

Knew who was to blame.

[purplepeoplesweater]

Frisk lay on the flowerbed underneath the sun for a long time. They stayed there until the light had gone, sliding up the cavern wall and disappearing. They stayed there until they realised they weren’t being forced to.

It wasn’t a quick or an easy realisation. It was like breathing, but through the phantom pain of broken ribs and punctured lungs, and through the knowledge that it was pointless to breathe or think or move, because their every action would be erased, and they’d just have to do it again.

But they did it again. And it was okay.

Frisk breathed of their own volition. These were good breaths, safe breaths. The only pain was from the bruising they started out every reset with.

In the silence, they reached out to Chara, still unconscious from the snap of the reset, faint and distant. They sent feelings of warmth. They weren’t sure they had much warmth left in them, but they’d share it all with Chara if they could.

And they got up. There was no clumsy, forceful compulsion, just the tingle of pins and needles in their legs and the tickle of flower petals against their arms.

They didn’t know how long this freedom would last, what the force that controlled and directed them would do this time, but maybe they could hide somewhere warmer—somewhere no one would find them. They’d find a little nook in the Ruins and wait out this timeline. Chara would like that, they think.

[seissouls]

* Commission for the lovely @midtime *

[purplepeoplesweater]

[[ the blog still hasn’t formally started up yet but look at this amazing creation which i do not deserve and which is now on my blog!! look at my darling! look ]]

[[ in other news @seissouls is incredible and you should commission them!! ]]

[purplepeoplesweater]

* i’m sorry i can’t speak.

* i’m sorry i don’t listen.

* i’m sorry for being alive.

* i’m sorry for trying to die.

* i’m sorry for making you hurt me.

* i’m sorry for making you hurt other people.

* i wo’n’t get in your way again.

* i wo’n’t be useless again.

* i promise i promise.

[purplepeoplesweater]

* i don’t know where i am.

* i don’t know why i’m alive.

* i don’t know who you are.

* but i know this is my fault.

* i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry