So... a week of being good.
I stepped on the scale this morning. And the little needle was like... HOVERING... between 194 and 195. And yes, I know, its a teensy slot of space but I was wearing my glasses and I could SEE it!
And then my period started and I was happy and like... unhappy at the same time and I was like “Fuck it!” And then I ate a cupcake... and had a mouthgasm. And was like fuck... that was the best mouthgasm ever.
So one week... I havent been perfect but I been damn good. And then I was like “Oh my god is that a soft pretzel?” And then I started yelling at my stomach, “NO! You just had a fucking cupcake you needy little shit, you’re good for a month bitch!”
.... So... yeah. Mouthgasm. So good.










