Pushed away

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I want to sleep with my best friend...

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My fully restored 1993 Mustang was hit by a drunk guy on a quad two nights ago... 21 years old, 200,000 miles, never had an accident... until two nights ago. Atleast $2000 in damage. Im hoping he has insurance of some kind!!! Gahhh

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Wow

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Its so discouraging being a plus size teenager today....looking for a clothes that look good and fit is like trying to find the 20 year old on a tween chat room, practically impossible! oh and don't even try plus size stores they only think about the adults when they make their clothes never mind the teens who go to school in sweat pants and a big t shirt you got at a fair last summer. Its a struggle. especially when all of your friend are a size two because they can maintain a I'm not gonna eat attitude. Why cant plus size teenagers be considered just as pretty or handsome as the girls who are 4'2" and 90 lbs???? why cant 5'10" 215 lbs be sexy? I don't understand....

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Bad influence?

I'm 16 years old and I am tattooed. When I got my tattoo I expected kids to ask me what it means cause it does infact have meaning... I expected adults to give me the stink eye or see it and ignore me but never once did I think that one of my beat friends mother would tell her daughter that I wasn't a good influence... I don't drink I don't smoke I don't sleep around I stay home go on tumblr read and watch Netflix... how is that a bad influence. I get it 16 years old with a tattoo oooh delinquent right? I'd expect you to say that if you didn't know me but she knows me! She knows I'm a good kid and do some odd reason now because I'm tattooed I'm a bad influence! What even!!! I want to be a lawyer, guess what??? I'm still gonna become a lawyer even with my tattoo... issue? Nope! I can cover it when I need to! But I'm not covering up my memorial for my stillborn sister just to appease your stuck up ass... get over yourself. I'm done with adults trting to tell me that I made the worst decision of their lives and look at their kids in front of me and say you won't ending up like her... I'm not a bad person I'm probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet... I'm a bit strange at times but I'm not a bad person... but quiet honestly I don't give a fuck what these people think I got my tattoo for me its mine it's on my body and if you have a problem with it well you can go fuck your self!

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Prom... I'm worried... worried that I'm not gonna have somebody to go with... all of my friends are absolutely stunning and then there's me, the not so stunning one, the one who not skinny, the one who couldn't get a boyfriend if she tried. I'm worried I'm not gonna find a dress that fits... I'm on the lower range of plus size but can never find cute clothes that look good, I'm so insecure about almost everything about my self... I don't want to be ridiculed. Looks like this summer I am hard core loosing weight... hopefully? :/

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You said you wouldn't never hit me again... said I could trust you... said.... said... lier... typical... I shouldn't have thought anything was gonna change for long.

[pushed-away1]

Okay so before I go away for the week I need a good rant. I'm actually really fed up with being forgotten about! I'm not some toy that you can use when you need me and then throw me back into the bottom of the toy box when you don't! I hate feeling forgotten!! I hate having the few people I trusted the most forget that I exist throw me aside like last week's news paper... but I guess I've put you guys through enough that you guys are giving me what I deserve... This is what I get for having feelings and not being just another brick in the building we call society. I get it I don't look like you guys so I kill you chances at hitting on guys when we go out but rubbing your plans in my face isn't okay either. I understand I have a lot going on but that doesn't mean that I don't want to listen to what you have to say too... it distracts me from my own burdens for a little while... After Relay I'm backing away from you guys I'm done being a burden.

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Don't you love spending Friday night at home and then waking up and seeing that your best friends had a sleep over and you weren't invited.... maybe moving isn't such a bad idea... I guess I'm not 'cool' enough to hang out with you guys any more... sorry I will take my depression and stress and anxiety away from you guys.

[pushed-away1]

Fuck. Off.

No, no, no, no, no NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[pushed-away1]

As I sit at my desk and look around my room tears streaming down i realize that this isn't the room I will be leaving behind to go to college. This Isnt goiing to be my room in a year. Why do we have to let the ass holes win why do we have to leave the life we've created behind.... Why my family? Haven't we been through enough?

[pushed-away1]

I Don't Give 4th Chances

I've been honest with you told you the truth. You told me you like me and I liked you back I started talking to you more... then you call me a bitch to my best friend. Now 2 weeks later I'm not a bitch and you like me again... We've played this game before and you always bail when you just don't want to deal with people in general. I'm sorry but lady time this happened I swore you off, said that I would never lieu you play me again but now it seems you've changed your ways... but I don't give fourth chances. So, your time to date me is done... I think.

[pushed-away1]

Leaving?????

I though moving was out of the question?!?! since when is this okay?!? I don't want to leave i have friend here, I'm making friends and now there's the possibility of leaving.... again? Why, Why didn't we just stick to our selves and ignore our neighbors why did we have to get involved with them. I want out of this house but not out of this school... sometimes it suck being in the school im in but usually its pretty good. And I have an organization I love! With people who I love to hang around with, why are you doing this?!?! i dont want to do this, this better go our way cause im not leaving my friends behind. 

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My Fucked up Life

Ive always, always always always been told that college isn’t an option, I have to go. I have to be the first Moriarty to get a degree; I have no choice but to go to college. And now they don’t even believe in me anymore, saying that I can go bag groceries at stop and shop for all they care. That they won’t help me pay because last year I had sucky grades and this term I fucked up and slipped a little bit. Do you know what it feels like to have your parent give up on you; to have them call you a fuck up, tell you they don’t care anymore. It fucking sucks, if they can seriously yell at me for doing my homework on my bed do I even belong here anymore? Why can’t I just leave? Why can’t I have somebody there to help me through this? I can’t even talk to them anymore without them yelling at me about grades. I don’t have a social life until I have A’s. I can’t do fucking anything right! I fucking suck at everything I do! Im a fat ass, I cant keep my grades up, im never gonna get though college, im never going to be able to make them proud. IM JUST A FUCK UP!!!! Why do I even think that I have a chance at a life out side of fucking high school! They don’t believe in me and they don’t care about me, why should I care or believe in my self if they don’t. im not the good child any more im not the child they would bet money on anymore.

Ryan I wish you luck with the ass holes cause all they care about is grades, your mental health don’t mean shit to them! Two more year and im leaving im gone! And they will never see it coming! 18 years old and im moving out! I hope they realize that its their fault too, they have done this. They have made me want to leave and live on my own. Id have a much fucking happier life by my self taking online college classes than living here throughout college. What the fuck happened to home is supposed to be where your heart is? Cause my heart isn’t here its thousands of miles away where I can change my name and live the life I want to live not the one they want me to.