If You Want To Enjoy My Pleasure @pussymagnate - Tumblr Blog

Also, from the same series of Books of Funny Quips: This is a drawing of a drawing of a drawing, but the picture in question was so well described that I felt confident in being able to recreate it. The context was that a classroom of kids were told to draw a picture of any scene of the bible, by their own choosing. One kid drew this:

And the teacher asked him what bible scene could this possibly be depicting. Well, obviously that is a picture of God driving Adam and Eve out of paradise.

scrimblospectrumdisorder

I can't see the words "family restaurant" without thinking of this image literally no matter the context

txttletale

the concept of evil superman should be really easy to do right i dont know why everyone who has ever tried except wildbow has fucked it up

txttletale

like think about how everyone but the most committed stringent pacifist in our society thinks its basically okay to kill an ant, and the reasons they'll give. they don't have conscisouness, they don't feel pain. well what if the super advanced aliens that could fly and shoot lasers from their eyes felt bleeble. and bleeble was way more important and salient than consciousness or pain which are just chemical reactions we dont really understand. and so theyre like, well its okay to kill humans because they dont feel bleeble

gigglesister

so funny that "guy who pretends listening to nine inch nails makes them an expert in weird offputting music tries to make fun of guys who pretends listening to my chemical romance makes them an expert in weird offputting music" is like a whole genre of post on here like. thats your brother. your twin. that is your near identical twin.

txttletale

starting an elite paramilitary black ops group who sneak into the homes of authors and cut one to three zeroes off any number of years given in a fantasy or sci-fi novel

txttletale

"this important historical event in my fantasy world happend 10,000 years ago" like fuck it did you lying asshole. you know what 10,000 years ago looks like to Us? the fuckin start of the neolithic period! hjow many important historical events from then are we all still worried about dipshit?

triviallytrue

gravedangerahead

@sydneysageivashkov

chikuto

my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

bruntalism

so-much-for-subtlety

American cities don’t put spikes in the grass, they pave it over with concrete! (and then add the spikes)

cipheramnesia

Cities in the USA will look at the architecture designs for nuclear waste storage designed to keep people away and ask if anyone is gonna build that and not wait for am answer and put it over any possible surface anyone could sit on.

nouveau-riche-princess

i think about that dota screenshot that's like 'i still think it's your fault because otherwise it's my fault and i don't like that' every day of my life

nouveau-riche-princess

larval-tear

i consider my moral compass to be pretty accurate. basically i just charge directly at whatever it’s pointing to and gore it with my large tusks

beesmygod

underappreciated duwang moment

beesmygod

hurtful

cryptotheism

For years it has been my dream to arrest and prosecute Chewbacca. Now that the star wars hotel is gone I must turn to hard drugs.

!!!

A very underrated part of Phantom Blood is when Dio tearfully pleads that his abused and impoverished upbringing is to blame for his villainy and he only lost sight of what it meant to be good as a result of his alcoholic father, then Speedwagon, a man we can infer has a very similar origin story, emerges from the shadows out if nowhere and says "Nah dude you just fucking suck."