Am I Tweaking?

[pussyterminator88]

hey uhm sorry if that's weird but i hope you're okay cause you haven't been posting a lot and it's reassuring if it's just because you don't want to but i just hope you're doing ok

Hiiii no worries I totally understand and appreciate ur concern.. I really do.. so thank you for that :)

Im doing great just been very busy with work, family and friends so I didn't really have time to post on here

But ive been thinking about doing more posts lately because I really do love the community on Tumblr so soon you will see more of me !!

sorry for being so un-active <333

[pussyterminator88]

bruh

well now I learned why people put glass in substances. It's because the small shards of glass create micro sores inside the nose so when you snort the substance it can enter the blood stream faster.

Obviously now it makes sense when you think about it, but I just thought they used glass as a thing to cut drugs with and no other reason. But I guess it always had a certain purpose I just wasn't aware until now.

[pussyterminator88]

[pussyterminator88]

Curiosity killed the Cat

I believe that if you are going to do drugs, know at least what you are putting in ur body. Learn about how it affects your nose, stomach, brain and so on.

Dont do them if you just want to know how it feels. Because what most people feel is the peak and thats all they remember. You can read stories or listen to music if you want to know how it is to be high.

Be conscious about the choice you make...

[pussyterminator88]

[pussyterminator88]

Mario carts at warehouse rave

[pussyterminator88]

Cocaine

It was the second most used substance in the world expect for weed. This drug is a stimulant that increases dopamine and serotonin in the brain.

I experience high focus and become more talkative. Also what's funny is that your gums tighten or become numb and that is an indicator of that the drug is cut with Novacaine. The heart also beats faster on this stuff. However this should not be mixed with alcohol because there is a high risk of getting a heart attack and die. It always surprises me how casual people are mixing cocaine and alcohol togheter. This is a very deadly combo and trust me ive done it and tested my limits which almost costed me my life. Not worth it.

I personally never experienced it but ive seen two people genuinely tweak out on this stuff. They became super paranoid and couldn't chill out, I think that for people that experience huge amounts of adrenaline just can't handle the substance and they start to overthink and get anxiety so it causes them to get paranoid. Which is very concerning to see because even when you try to calm them down they seem to be stuck in that headspace. I got kicked out of some guys apartment because he thought the cops would come and get him, which they never would.

My comedowns on this stuff varies a lot but most of the time Im super exhausted. There was a time tho where I had the worst migraine in my entire life where I felt my brain just pounding inside of my skull and this didn't want to stop for almost the whole next day. However sleeping is way more doable compared to speed and you can eat your first meal way easier. But that day I had a migraine I just couldn't sleep because all I could focus on was the headache. (so it could've been cut with something not so nice)

The thing with cocaine too is that it is likely to be cut with other bullshit so you're never really sure what it could be mixed with. It varies a lot but what ive heard is that it could go from being cut with baking soda to even micro shards of glass and thats something you don't want to inhale. Also as I said earlier coke is often cut with novacaine which causes the numbing feeling in ur gums or even face sometimes.

Novacaine is normally used by dentists to numb you from pain if they want to do a procedure to help manage discomfort. Procedures like cavity fillings or wisdom teeth extractions.

Also cocaine lasts way shorter than speed so you have to keep redosing to keep having the high up and that is what fucks you. It's not so glamours then what they depict in the movies and music.

[pussyterminator88]

[pussyterminator88]

N-n-n- night killaaaz

(snow strippers preforming at my old school iconic basketball court)

[pussyterminator88]

Guys I got to play at a rave !!!

[pussyterminator88]

Where can I get benzos?

get an app called signal or telegram at least where im from. But otherwise if you wanna keep it simple just search on snap haha.

[pussyterminator88]

confidence

[pussyterminator88]

[pussyterminator88]

My changed opinion on Benzo

I took it a couple more times since that time and I mixed it with alcohol again which is super dangerous but I'm stupid and did it anyway. My breathing became slower and my eyes were half closed, so I was like a walking zombie. Then when I spoke to people it was very harmonious and calm like...I was zen on another level. Nothing bothered me and somehow I ended up on a side quest mission with a couple who wanted to go to the boyfriends moms house because there they could take amphetamine through a needle (yikes).

That was my sign to leave so they changed the plan to go to their "friends" house instead and we could chill there and they would take cocaine and so on. However they needed my phone to call these "friends" because their phones were dead. Later idk what happened but they started to fight through my phone and now I have a message on my phone saying "don't play w me and send my money tomorrow" I just hope they don't think I know this couple personally, I just let them have my phone so they could fix sum chill.

Then I took benzo on a home party and that was a nice experience I was super chill. So when it comes to having a cozy, nice, night vibe yess I like Benz but not when it becomes a whole adventure side quest dora the explorer type shit because Im just so confused and have no idea what is going on.

[pussyterminator88]

not quite there yet

[pussyterminator88]

[pussyterminator88]

He said to me:

- I fucking hate drugs, I will never take a drug ever again.

Later he tells me:

-I took 7 pills, but it's only because I'm a big dude.

Then he says:

-Yea Im never touching that shit again.

But contradicts himself by saying:

-Well yesterday I took 5 pills, and somehow I never get comedowns.

All I could think was "yeaaa sure buddy"

you don't have to convince me that you "hate" doing drugs because I simply don't care what you do. But lying to yourself that you hate drugs so much when you clearly love doing them...that makes you delusional to your own addiction.

Because drugs do affect you so stop lying that they don't. And you love taking them because all you do is talk about drugs.

Saying that you never get comedowns but then following up you say the most negative sentence ever is crazy work. Or saying that you don't get any after effects but need to throw up in order to feel "normal" again..."okkayy if you say so man."

But in the moment all I could say was "hallelujah brother" and give a high five. If believing that makes you feel better then yeah sure buddy. I just wonder what's gonna happen when he realizes that he hates drugs so much he starts to abuse them on a regular basis.

If he just knew is all I could think of when he was saying the things he said.