qtpii

22 <3 personal vent page swahswahswag

[qtpii]

“you should get out and do stuff!!”

*makes me feel guilty when i make plans*

[qtpii]

i fucking h8 everything about me rn

[qtpii]

hashtag it’s my birthday and i’ll cry if i want to fr im so sad i can’t stop crying

[qtpii]

being unmedicatad is super fire until u start getting increasingly overwhelmed at everything heart eyes i almost had a meltdown just now because i had to take stuff out of the car and it was too loud

[qtpii]

genuinely tho i feel like all in all im doing better than i was when i first started posting on this i stopped taking my meds a couple weeks ago and i feel fine, the only reason im feeling like this currently is because i finally got my period, like other than that ive been good im able to smoke again, ive also started driving more consistently (wld be more consistent but my car dying) but i feel like im doing better the only thing i have to work on is my social skills and how to continue conversations i realized it today at my little brothers grad party i feel like when i have a convo i like panic and dont know what to say ever unless its like someone i talk to a LOT raaaahhh

and i also want to lose like 10 pounds not in a disordered light either just because i know ive kind of let go recently and im not happy with my body and i deserve to love my body, im gonna start going on walks no matter the heat, which its going to be raining quite a bit this week or it’s at least supposed to who knows if it actually will, but that should cool down the weather a little bit at least!!! i want to start snacking less and healthier when i do want to, like to night for my s cal i had some cucumber slices i forget how much i like cucumbers and veggies raaa i feel like a rabbit they’re so yummy

[qtpii]

LMFAO my last four posts are so funny o e right after the other

[qtpii]

i’m so sad i have to get rid of this shirt i just got bc it makes me look fucking huge i’m so sad im so sad its such a cute fucking shirt

[qtpii]

i’ve gained sm weight i hate myself

[qtpii]

hate myself

[qtpii]

i feel so fucking ugly ohmygod

[deerlyange]

[qtpii]

retweet

[qtpii]

i fucking hate mother’s day im so sad

[qtpii]

i wish i could just go fucking see my mom i wish i could just fucking pick her up and take her out to eat i want to see my fucking mom i get so fucking jealous when my friends see their moms i want my mom so fucking bad i want my mom i want mom i want my mom

[qtpii]

bro i just found out one of my childhood best friends is leaving mn forever she got an amazing job opportunity and she’s leaving like next week im genuinely soooo sad, like we’re going to be hanging out at least two times maybe three before she goes, but im so sad we’ve literally been friends since i kid u not kindergarten:(

[qtpii]

well i was really happy for a while there and now im back yay im so angry i want to get fucking high i want to hurt myself im so upset

[qtpii]

currently feeling sick to my stomach because i’m looking through my moms facebook and i can’t even recognize her as my mom when i look at her like in any picture even before addiction i haven’t looked at her in so long like that is actually fucking terrifying that i look at her and i don’t put it immediately as my mom and just like subconsciously not actually look at her when im going through her old fb photos, i have no idea what she looks like now all i know is that she doesn’t have any of her teeth, the last time i saw her in person was when she was an addict and her cheeks and eyes were sunken in and she was just skin and bones i wish none of this happened i want my fucking mom i don’t care if im overreacting at this point im going to be childish about it because i was a fucking child when i lost her, i want my fucking mom

[qtpii]

i want to take out my fucking ovaries i fuking hate this so fucking much there’s too many emotions battling in my head rn like i can’t focus on what and i can’t explain the emotion im feeling bc it’s just so fucking jumbled into one and i just sobbed so i think maybe that helped regulate me a little bit and now im going to force myself to get out of my bed and go downstairs to open some pokemon cards with my dad and hopefully that helps a little more i just fucking hate this