Don't look at me

My name is Robin,  50% Online gaming content 50% gay loser content. 

[queerlp]

Ryan Haywood is a Predator

I haven’t posted on this blog in five years, and will likely be the last. I just need to get my thoughts out there. 

For those of you that are confused as to what this blog is that you’re following, I used to be super into the AH fandom. I was a huge Ryan stan. This blog even used to be under the name ryan-haywood.tumblr.com before I stepped away from AH. I was even a pioneer of the freewood tag. You certainly don’t need to scroll far to find posts where I idolized the man. 

I’m absolutely disgusted, obviously. I support everyone who has been victimized by Ryan. He is a predator, taking advantage of inexperienced young girls and women, most of whom were mentally ill. He is a fucking predator. He is unforgiveable. Whether each of these cases were legal on paper or not is a moot point to me. They were all predatory, manipulative, and dishonest on Ryan’s part. I worry that we haven’t seen the end of victim testimony yet. I hope his wife and kids are able to get away from him and live a normal and quiet life. 

For every person he victimized, there were at least hundred more teens and early 20-somethings who idolized him in an unhealthy way, myself included. I added him on snapchat in December 2016 too. I was “lucky” enough to be in a committed partnership, and a little bit older. It could have been me, could have been any of us. 

I won’t tell you not to idolize someone, not to admire someone older and seemingly super put together. It’s easy to say that when I’m five years older than I was when I stopped watching AH content. It would be victim blaming. The onus is 100% on the 40 year old man to not manipulate vulnerable 17-22 year old girls/women.

What I will tell you to do, is to protect those that are younger and more vulnerable than you. Watch out for your friends. If someone you know is bragging about having a personal conversation with someone they admire, that’s a red flag. If someone close to you is suddenly going out of town or cancelling plans and won’t be open about where they’re going, that’s a red flag. If your little sibling or child is obsessing over the newest e-celeb, have a conversation about power imbalances and be a person they can trust. Circle the fucking wagons.

I will be leaving this blog open, I will not be deleting any posts. In a way, I think it’s important to have some kind of documentation of the culture and my own participation in it. My askbox is always open for commentary and as a listening ear.

This isn’t the first predator to come out of the internet age, and it isn’t the last. It’s just the one that hit the closest to home for me.  

[eightgreatestmistakes]

ryan in free play episode 3

[heyheyroosterteeth]

Do pushups at the operation supply drop booth

[queerlp]

burnie spent thousands of dollars and the better part of two years trying to get gavin to be allowed to work in america and gavin forgets to renew his fuckening visa this is the funniest thing that ever happened to RT 

[pughetti]

we’re down to four achievement hunters. One followed his dreams and ambitions, the other forgot to renew his fucking visa

[queerlp]

DID GAVIN REALLY FORGET TO RENEW HIS VISA DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN

PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME I AM SO OUT OF THE LOOP AND THIS IS SO FUNNY

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

*laminated paper wobbling sound*

[queerlp]

did you hear about ray leaving? are you going to start watching ah again?

Yes I did hear about it. I haven’t watched any videos in awhile and I’ve been staying off the internet in general lately, but I don’t actually live under a rock!

Like I said, I haven’t watched videos lately, but Ray seemed to be getting less and less excited about working there. It doesn’t surprise me all that much that he would eventually leave. Twitch is a better environment for people who want to play the games they want and not have that many rules, and for people who are not suited for regular daytime sleep cycles. Seems like a good fit for Ray.

Obviously if you ever followed this blog around a year ago, you know my feelings about Ray (you can check out my tag “#this is not a ray narvaez fan blog” for more details about my strong distaste for him). However, I feel as though I have also made it clear that Ray was only a part of my problem with RT/AH. It was more of the entire attitude of the AH crew and a good chunk of the community. Again, I’ve made dozens of posts about it, so I’d rather not go into it right away. 

In the end, my answer is no. My mental well-being has been significantly improved since I strayed away from that community and from youtube in general. Although I appreciate and love the friends I made in the RT community (even though I do not communicate with any of you, I can not offer anything more than an apology for that), I have been doing a lot better away from this environment. Tumblr turned from a place of safety and union to a place of hostility for me while I was in that community, largely due to the abusive backlash I received due to outspoken rage at the issues I had w/r/t Ray and AH (and also being queer and being loud about that). That was the main driving factor in me straying away from tumblr in general also for the past while. Anyway, I hope that made sense. I’m sure Ray will be very happy and successful in continuing to make transphobic, homophobic, racist, sexist, rape apologetic, and otherwise harmful and grotesque jokes. Love yourselves and take care. 

[callmearcturus]

Actually I have one thing to say about this

And I fucking hate, hate, hate that I even have to

Do not write fanfic about this. Do not use this as a fucking plot point in your story. Learn from the mistakes of other fandoms (the HP Kristalnacht bullshit, the J2 Haiti fic, the more recent Ferguson “fics”). Do not fucking turn the death of an artistic man who supported fanwork and even tried to integrate the fanart of the community into something for you to drive a fucking plot.

People do a lot of unwise shit in the wake of death. Let’s make sure that this does not happen. If you are thinking of processing your grief that way, keep it to yourself. If you see someone else doing it, gently but firmly call them the fuck out and tell them to take it down.

RWBY was a flawed show, we all know it, but Monty Oum was a great man. He was a goddamn titan of artistic production and inspiration. Honor his legacy, above all else.

[dustingrayves]

i know many of you are very distraught over these news so:

here’s a website with cute animals draw a nebula draw with silk explore space

[queerlp]

hey y'all

i just heard the news and i have no further words that i can add to this conversation except that the world has had an irreplaceable loss. 

please take care of yourselves. i need some time away from the internet but i'll be on later tonight if anyone needs to talk. i'll try to check my messages occasionally if you can't wait until then. 

please please please PLEASE be respectful and tag appropriately and call out those who aren't. 

i love you guys, please love each other and love yourselves

[queerlp]

hey i'm like 7 hours late but

if you haven't heard the news about monty oum, please read burnie's journal and refer to the gofundme page for him/his family. i know the goal has already been met twice over, but if there's one thing i can praise RT/its employees on, it's charitability. if monty and/or his family end up not needing all of the money, i can say with 100% confidence that it will go to a worthy cause.

i know i have criticized him and rt as a whole, but he is a talented and dynamic guy. no matter how i or anyone else feels about monty, please know that his and his family's privacy needs to be respected, and that rumors & gossip belong in the high school lunch room and not on tumblr. 

also please love & take care of yourselves and others

[queerlp]

Should I be ashamed that I am straight? Just a question because I'm starting to realize how much tumblr hates me.

i am only posting this because i want everyone to know how exhausting it is to get a question like this at least once a week for the past year of my life

[queerlp]

Three people have sent me messages about three different things about markiplier and like, I appreciate y'all regarding my opinion so highly but 1. I have not had the time nor the spoons to regularly watch any sort of YouTube let's play content in months 2. I do not currently have the time nor the spoons nor the stable internet connection to be informed about any of these things (that doesn't mean they are not important, it just means I really, really need to sort out my own shit right now) 3. Conclusions are never something you want to jump to, always do your own research, love and support each other, and above all don't be an asshole and don't send anon hate

[queerlp]

Is it me or???

Mark 2013: Hello everybody! my name is markiplier!

Mark 2014: HELLLOOOO everybody my name is marrrkibler

Mark 2015: HELLLOOO EVERYBODYMYNAMEISMARGIPLYRR

[queerlp]

ok for real though why is every boy butt weirdly squashed looking but every girl butt is beautiful and perfect

[queerlp]

i really do not have time for people who deny that biphobia exists

[queerlp]

"Official FNAF 3"

the entire human race: looks at markiplier