Henry D'Angelo

Henry D'Angelo. 38. PTSD & Avoidant Personality Disorder. Quiet, withdrawn, skittish. Level: Blue Keeping breathing, it's the only way to stay alive.

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane looked over, giving an understanding nod. Surely, she wanted to contest to that, but it wasn’t her place. She should just be making sure he was good and healthy while seeking out his treatment. There was a part of her that sympathized with Henry - she’d read bits and pieces of his reason for being here, though nothing much. But still, saw so much of a young Nathan in him. “I can understand that. I could use a nap myself.” Joane let out a small laugh.

Henry wasn’t sure that they did understand what he was saying. Some people just didn’t, especially when he was so often distressed in his sleep. But sometimes being distressed in his sleep was better than trying to figure out all of the new people. He knew how his uncle would react. Henry nodded his head though, “... and I wish I could skip meals-- they give us too much food. I don’t need that much.” Most of which he gave away anyway.

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane was hoping she could get more a response from him, but she knew it would take a bit longer for him to open up more. Joane was just intrigued and wanted him to come out of his shell so he could truly start his growth into being his true undamaged self. “Are you really tired?” She asked a bit. She knew it was probably a long day for him, though it seemed like a good conversational piece.

Henry wasn’t usually asked questions about himself, at least not in a casual way. It made him hesitant and unsure of what the other was trying to get at. Henry shrugged his shoulders, “Sleeping is nice.” He said quietly. At least when he wasn’t having nightmares it was nice. “You can forget.”

[quiethenry]

fightthcsedemcns:

caleb noticed the man hiding his drawing underneath other papers that he had and decided to move his gaze elsewhere. he didn’t want to make the other uncomfortable, especially if he was going to be here for as long as they told him. “you didn’t,” he told him, confused as to why he was apologizing when caleb was the one who had been loud. his brows furrowed into a look of confusion upon hearing the other patients words. “no…at least not for me,” he mumbled. “i mean i used to self medicate. drank every type of liquor known to man and took all sorts of drugs. none of them made me feel like a zombie - at least that i can remember.”

Henry was glad that the man didn’t seem angry at him. He was used to his uncle raising his voice when Henry got in his way. Saying something like that would no doubt have gotten him struck across the face. Henry shrugged his shoulders and wondered if maybe this was just how he felt in real life. He couldn’t remember ever taking drugs before. There had been a time between his move from Colorado to here where he’d felt horrible, sick and shaky. Now that he was here, on the meds, he just felt like he had before. he didn’t know what that meant. “...I’ve always felt like this... Foggy-- like you can’t think.”

“I’m just not right. Something is wrong with me.”

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

“Okay, Henry.” She didn’t think the other man would try to run off. Not that he could, really, but still it was clear he wasn’t that kind of person. Joane gathered all of his files and papers to bring back to the office. “Let’s get going. Are you good to go?” She asked, heading out the door before locking it behind herself and Henry.

Henry wondered if they were going to owe the man for something by taking them up on the offer to go outside. In that moment, he just wanted to feel the sun of his face and enjoy the air. Maybe there would more chances for it, but hte idea that there wouldn’t be helped him to get over his anxiety. He stood and nodded his head without a word. Tucking his hands away in his front pocket, he hid them a little easier and hopefully looked like he was calm and not nervous.

[quiethenry]

fightthcsedemcns:

caleb noticed the other shaking from out of the corner of his eye and immediately he felt a wave of guilt rush over him. he turned to face the other, an apologetic look on his face. although he wasn’t even sure the other could see him, given that his hair practically covered his eyes. “i guess i could do that,” he replied. he worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a brief moment before finally building up the courage to actually apologize for startling the other patient. “i’m sorry if i scared you. i-…i’m just not used to feeling like this-..” he said, waving his hand towards his head. “sorry.”

As the man looked over, Henry felt a sudden urge to hide what he had been drawing. It was dumb, some trees and a river. Something his uncle would have torn up and told him was horrible. He found himself tucking it up under some sheets so the other couldn’t see. Henry shook his head, “I didn’t mean... I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He whispered with a shrug of his shoulders. He couldn’t figure out why the man was apologizing. “...It isn’t normal to feel like this?” He asked quietly.

[quiethenry]

 r-olandtucker:

Roland had made himself worked up now. He was clearly just upset now, and though it was pretty much nothing he was still just trying to sooth himself. He could feel the anxiety tight in his chest, legs feeling like jelly. He clasped his cane though he tried to keep his cries to a minimum. “I n-need to g-go -” He shook his head, though when he tried to walk his legs didn’t work as he needed them too - he was stuck standing in place. “F- frig -”

Henry felt a sudden wave of shame fall over him. He’d upset the other man and it was clear that it was all his fault. Henry’s head hit the wall a little harder that time. Henry felt an urge to punish himself for what he had done to the other man, if his uncle knew he’d have his fingers held over the fire. In a reflex, he pulled his arms into his sleeves to protect the digits. “I’m s-sorry...” He whispered again, knees pulling into his chest as his breathing picked up. Why did he always mess everything up?

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane did her best to finish it all up, putting his notes into the small folder she had for him. She would have to drop it off at the main secretary and the front doors. “Do you want to come for a little walk?” It would take him outside the front doors for just a minute, though there was still guards protecting those doors to come into the building. It would almost be like free time out side of the asylum, though she didn’t expect him to say yes. “I can show you a bit around and then you can go lay down.”

The offer to go outside was something Henry hadn’t expected. He’d felt like he was going to be trapped here for the rest of his life. Forced to remain behind walls without any hope of going outside or seeing the places that had once calmed him down. So the offer to go outside, it seemed far too good to be true. Slowly, Henry nodded his head in agreement. Just a little outside time and then he could go back and sleep in his bed. Just as if he was home. Chores outside and then bed.

[fightthcsedemcns-deactivated201]

caleb eyed the blank piece of paper that he had set before him. he wasn’t even sure why he thought spending his four hours of freedom in the art room had been a good idea. he slammed the marker he held in his hand down on the table and sighed heavily, a part of him not even caring if the nurse that was following him around noticed. “this is so stupid,” he said, running his hand over his face out of frustration. “i can’t even think straight. how am i supposed to come up with an idea of what to draw?” he said to no one in particular.

[quiethenry]

 --Henry’s favorite place was the art room.

He’d never been allowed to draw or doing anything that was considered art. But now that he was here, they didn’t admonish him for going to the art room but rather seemed to encourage it. He didn’t know if it was because they just wanted him away from them or what, but he was happy to be there. Timidly, Henry held his pencil, letting it make lines on the paper as he drew mindlessly. Anything to get his mind to settle. When the person near him slammed their hand down, he startled. Henry looked over then, his longer curls hiding most of his eyes from sight. “...A lot of people just scribble.” He remarked, his voice just loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough that it could be missed.

[quiethenry]

r-olandtucker:

Roland lifted his hand, cane tight in his let hand as usual as he used his thick sweater sleeve to wipe his tears. “You d-don’t want m-me here.” Anything would be better than just feeling like Henry was dying slowly with Roland in his presence. He’d gotten into trouble already for sneaking out, doing as he pleased too often. “It’s o-okay.” Roland’s slippers sliding against the floor, trying to listen if anyone was walking by.

Henry began to rap his closed fist against the wall for a few moments. He had clearly upset the other and he felt his chest tightening at it. What would he do? He could easily tell everyone how rude Henry was and surely no one give him the time of day afterward. It made him nervous and it showed clearly in his body language. “I’m sorry...” He whispered, unsure of what else to say.

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane was thankful the other did as told without any fighting. It was nice for a change, because she felt like she argued with everyone every single day. A part of her felt a bit guilty, because she knew that it was probably from years of conditioning. It made her smile slip a bit, though she quickly wrote down his weight. “Yes, I’m almost done.  You can take a seat once more.”  She would try not to feel guilty, reaching up to fix her hair.

Once permission was given to sit back down, Henry didn’t hesitate at all. He moved away from the other and took a seat, promptly pulling one of his legs up so he could tuck his knee against his chest. The one thing he liked about this place was the ability he had to sleep more often. he didn’t have chores to do, and it meant he could sleep for longer periods of time. Even as he thought, he kept his eyes on the other, waiting patiently.

[drharrisoncarter-deactivated201]

First day. New Job.

He’d been shown the lay of the land by the head of the facility himself during his initial interview, but it had taken weeks after that first meeting for Harrison to conclude that he’d made the right decision. Leaving behind everything he’d known in the hope that a fresh start woud be a success wasn’t supposed to be easy, it was a test of character that he still wasn’t fully sure he was committed to. The driving force behind the move, professionally speaking, was the desire to become part of the church’s initiative to help those individuals who required expert medical attention. Personally, his selfish desire to seek out peace from his inner demons played a bigger motive in following through with the upheaval. First patient.

Henry D'Angelo - Avoidant Personality Disorder and PTSD. Perhaps not one of the most critical patients, given his blue level status, but a delay in diagnosis meant that early intervention wasn’t possible and ultimately, his expression of symptoms was severe.

Tucking in his shirt, a nervous ‘tick’ that had followed him since his schooldays, Harrison stood in the centre of the therapy room awaiting Henry’s arrival. The room itself was more an office space, converted for the purposes of conversation between doctor and patient by replacing the desk and chair with a comfortable couch and matching chair. Various potted plants detracted from the worn decor of the aged building whilst various religious adornments served to remind patients that the Lord was there for guidance and strength.

A knock at the door announced Henry’s arrival, his accompanying orderly offering a quick scan of the room before exiting for the duration of their hour long session. Henry was older than Harrison, by three years, though immediately, the other man’s withdrawn and sombre aura made him seem much younger. He wasn’t privy to the absolute extent of Henry’s background, but within the darkest depths of his new patient’s empty gaze, Harrison could see the fear and pain settled there.

@quiethenry

[quiethenry]

The journey to this place had been long and scary.

They’d put him on meds, their desperate attempt at getting him to calm down during the travel. When he’d woken up, they’d told him he would be staying here until he got better. Until he felt better. Only Henry knew that he was never going to get better, his uncle had been trying to fix him since the accident. He wasn’t going to get better.

Now he simply had to readjust to new surroundings. There were new rules and expectations-- Henry knew that he was going to end up disappointing someone. When he did, he had no idea, but he knew it would happen. The last thing Henry wanted was to disappoint more people than he already was.

The orderly had told him he had to meet his doctor, and Henry was nervous-- terrified of who the man was or what he would do to him. He’d squirmed at first, wanting to stay put in his bed, before the orderly had snapped at him and Henry had frozen in fear. The hand on his arm had been rough, but Henry could not protest.

He was stuck and he had to go along with it. When he’d found himself in front of the doctor he’d felt the urge to hide and nearly began to beg the man to allow him to go back asleep. But instead, he stood there, head pointing down at the ground while he waited for the man to be angry or frustrated with him.

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

“Sir?” Joane said almost instinctively, though she caught herself very quickly. “You don’t need to call me that.” She retorted, a soft save from the issue she had almost caused. Not that she was afraid of telling people - some of the patients knew, some didn’t and that was just how things were. Nathan and Joane were better off, glad that there was just the two of them and neither caused much trouble. “Can you go stand on the platform over there, Henry?” She pointed to what looked like a small metal spot on the ground, a scale. No numbers for him to see, would show up on a screen just Joane could see on the other side of the room. 

Weighing was always the worst because he knew they weren’t happy with his weight. He’d always been smaller than most people, and had only ever been given food to keep him alive. Henry nodded his head though, moving off and heading towards the platform. He held still, knowing that if he moved he would be required to stay there for longer. Truth be told, his eating habits hadn’t changed all that much since he’d gotten here. Most of his food was squirreled away to other patients, making it so they wouldn’t pick on him at a later date. “C-Can I take a nap later? During free time?”

[quiethenry]

r-olandtucker:

Roland hated to feel like this - feeling like he was burden, his presence was annoying and he was just trouble. His father had done all he could to make Roland feel this way, the silence and shaming and guilt. Henry reflected that in some way - quiet, hidden away, making it obvious he wanted nothing to do with him. “Oh…” He trailed off, tears stinging his eyes as he turned away, trying not to look at Henry’s face. He was willing to risk now being caught by the guard - he needed to go. “S-s-s-sorry, I’ll g-g-o…” Roland stuttered as he tried to hold back his hiccup sobs, though there was no point in bothering to try to stop them.”

Henry was confused at his reaction, he was upset and Henry felt panicked at the thought; had he done something to make the man upset at him already? He’d done everything he’d been taught to do and somehow he still messed it up. Henry dropped his head against the wall and scratched at his arms; a nervous tick that could result in blood if he kept at it. “They’ll get you... You’ll be mad at me... Stay. Stay. I’ll tell you when it’s safe. I promise.”

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane was kindly idly just doing the nurse type things in the background. Her arms and hands were moving, covering the cool metal with the plastic nib then putting up to his ear. “I get that.” She nodded. “Used to take meds for years, and it’s only just recently I stopped.” She used I, though speaking mostly for Nathan - Joane never took meds, other than when she thought she was very sick and Nathan gave her placebo sugar pills to keep her quiet. “So it can happen. You just gotta work hard and do all the things you learn in therapy.” She took the temp, writing it down on her sheet and backing away a bt to give him his space.

Henry didn’t know why they even bothered giving him medication. It wasn’t like he could go out in the world and actually be successful at anything. He had no education and could barely read if read at all. Henry inhaled deeply before reaching out and beginning to trace unseen lines on the wall as she took his temperature. Though the mention of therapy had Henry suddenly pulling his hands back into his sweatshirt-- hiding the soft burns again. His therapy wasn’t going well and he wasn’t sure he could listen to the things that were told to him. “Yes, sir.” He whispered lowly.

[quiethenry]

r-olandtucker:

Roland didn’t want to sleep. He was tired of sleep. He wanted to be hiding in the library among books, teaching himself to read in English better and trying to make himself proud. That clearly wasn’t happening, with him feeling like he was stuck here, waiting for the guard to pass by so he could sneak out. The small name was the most he’d heard from him, though Roland knew not to make a big deal of it - that’s something that would make his own stutter worst, so instead he gave a short nod, then turned his eyes back to the door. “H-how long you’ve b-been here? A-at least l-long enough t-t-to notice the g-guard.”

Henry had found that days tended to blend together, becoming one long blur of pain and misery. He couldn’t count very well and had found no point in keeping track of the days. He was here until he died; that had been made clear to him. A part of Henry wondered why they didn’t just give him something that could end it all. He wouldn’t be wasting space anymore. After a moment Henry realized he still hadn’t said anything and he cleared his throat softly, “--I don’t know...” He admitted with a soft shrug. “Doesn’t matter.”

[quiethenry]

 drharrisoncarter:

Harrison took the subtle change in Henry’s posture as a positive reaction to his presence, which lifted some of the concern that his appearance in the other man’s room was a gamble in the first place. Instinct was a good instrument to use as a doctor, but patients hardly ever reacted in a textbook manner. The element of chaos and unpredictability in dealing with mental conditions offered a very fine line upon which Harrison had to tread.

It helped to get to know the patient as well and although he’d tried to offer every single one on his list an equal block of his time, there were always patients that he tended to gravitate towards more. In most cases, it was simply a fact of them not being so receptive to talking therapies, in others, he could see that they needed more attention.

Henry was one of the latter.

“Okay” his right hand extended between them, palm facing the floor as he gestured for Henry not to erupt. “I’d just like to know what’s troubling you in more detail. You’re not a bad person, Henry. You just need the correct treatment for a condition that isn’t your fault.” His hand drops to rest on his bent knee, azure gaze filled with hope and determination. He was going to help this man, no matter what the cost.

“Pretend I’m not a doctor. Pretend we’re friends from back home, someone you could trust. What would you tell me or how could I make you feel more at ease?”

  --Henry couldn’t bring himself to tell him about the fire therapy.

If anything, he already knew about it, and if Henry told him how much it hurt, how much it scared him; he might get laughed at or told he was being dramatic. He didn’t want to hear that from Harrison, especially when the man was probably the only person who had been able to calm him down since he had gotten here. Henry wanted to pretend the man wanted him around for as long as he could.

Henry watched as the man moved his hand, a sign to show Henry that he needed to calm himself down before things got out of control.

At the man’s request, Henry found himself fumbling for what that meant. “I’ve never...” He shook his head, “I don’t have friends.” And he’d never been allowed out so that he could make them. He could remember another boy that had been his age, but he’d been young. “I-I want a heat pad...” He whispered quietly. “Can I have one?” He hated asking for things, but his mom had used to heat one up and place it on his stomach when he was having a bad day. It was a habit his uncle had allowed him to repeat.

[quiethenry]

n-athanielleloux:

Joane took the cuff away, putting it back onto the counter before grabbing ear-temp reader. She didn’t try to just put it in his ear, instead just holding it in her hand so he could see what she needed to do and giving himself time to adjust. “I know you’re not bad, hun.” Joane said softly. She knew many people hated taking their meds, and Nathan didn’t take his anymore. But they figured out things and did therapy twice a week for a long time until they only needed to go once a month, which hopefully was what Henry could do one day. “It’s to help with you symptoms of diagnosises. So things like anxiety, depression, drowsyness or anything like that. She wasn’t too sure what all the meds he was taking, though most meds just offered a risk of high blood pressure or bad reactions - this was just to be safe.

Henry knew what the temp reader did, though Henry found it uncomfortable, it was probably far from the worse thing that could be done. So after a moment, Henry turned his head slightly to show he was okay with what they were planning on doing. “I try to fix it.” He whispered. He tried to not be as bad as he was, tried to do his best. But it had never worked before. Henry just didn’t like meds, as they often made him even more pathetic and weak. Made it so he could barely react to any abuse he received.