They were sitting together outside, somewhere quiet where the world felt less overwhelming. Val was talking about something funny that happened earlier and Noah was listening, but his brain was also stuck on the little box in his pocket.
His fingers brushed against it.
His heart immediately started racing.
Val noticed. Because of course she did.
“Noah?” she asked gently.
She tilted her head. “You’re doing the thing.”
“The thing where you look like you’re about to either tell me something important or run away.”
A nervous laugh escaped him before he could stop it.
“To me?” Val smiled a little. “Yeah.”
Noah looked down at his hands. They were trembling.
“I’ve tried to do this so many times.”
“I keep thinking I’m going to be ready,” he said. “I keep thinking I’ll suddenly stop being scared, and then I don’t.”
“I know I’m not always easy to understand. I know sometimes I shut down, or I overthink things, or I get stuck in my own head. And I know you’ve been hurt before. I know trusting someone is hard.”
Val’s expression softened.
“But you trusted me anyway.”
The words came out shaky.
“And I don’t want you to think I take that for granted. Because I don’t. I think about it all the time.”
Val reached for his hand.
“You make me feel like I’m not a problem that needs fixing,” he said. “You make me feel like I’m a person. Like I’m someone worth choosing.”
His eyes burned, and he looked away for a second, embarrassed.
“I’m scared,” he admitted. “I’m really, really scared. I’m scared because I love you so much that it feels impossible to say it right.”
“You don’t have to say it perfectly.”
For once, he didn’t try to wait until the fear disappeared.
He reached into his pocket.
Val’s eyes widened slightly.
“I know,” he whispered. “I know I’ve almost done this before.”
A tiny smile appeared on her face.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I kept getting scared.”
“Noah, being scared doesn’t mean you love me less.”
That hit him harder than he expected.
He looked at her. He really looked at her.
The person who had survived things that made trusting people difficult. The person who still had fears from someone who had hurt her. The person who somehow still chose kindness. Still chose hope.
“Val,” he said, “I don’t promise that I’ll never be anxious. I don’t promise I’ll always know the perfect thing to say. But I promise I’ll keep choosing you. I promise I’ll listen. I promise I’ll keep trying.”
“You’re my best friend. You’re the person I want to come home to. You’re the person who makes the hard days feel possible.”
Val’s eyes filled with tears.
For a moment, everything was quiet.
Then Val laughed and covered her face.
“Yes, you idiot,” she said, laughing through tears. “Of course yes.”
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