it’s not like beck didn’t weigh up the pros and cons of leaving.. pros: they’d have the most beautiful wife in the world.. the sweetest woman whom promised to stay by them so matter what. beck would be this whole new person. they’d look at life differently.. especially with a woman like that loving them.. of all the monsters in the world.. it was them that she loved. cons: beck would watch her struggle, watch her try to come to terms with what beck done. that constant fear that someone else in that criminal world would find out about her.. would try and hurt her to get to beck. and that thought of that sent beck well on their, even though they waited outside their church, they eventually went on their way, unnoticed.
but here she was.. and beck couldn’t help but feel guilty.. one of the most hardened criminals. yet they were here longing.. grieving almost for their lost love. but so matter how much beck thought.. they wouldn’t have done anything different. there was only so many nightmares they could manage. only so many times that they could watch her getting shot.. getting abducted in their sleep. beck just couldn’t risk her getting hurt.. so they took the blow and they hurt her instead. it would hurt far less then what someone else would do to her.. especially if they were trying to hurt beck. watching her stand, beck didn’t know what they expected.. an inked hand slowly moved, reaching so slightly to hold her.. if that’s what she wanted. what she needed. but hearing those words.. it felt like a kick in the gut.. a punch to the heart. beck even found themselves distancing from her so slightly, icy blue eyes looking anywhere but at her, lips ajar.. waiting for some kind of response to come. but nothing did. i do know you.. i do, my love.. i know the tiniest little things. what makes you smile.. what way you like to be held when you sleep. i know you — beck wanted to insist.. but they couldn’t. but they dared to look her in the eye. even distraught.. even brimmed with tears.. those eyes were still so beautiful. their heart continued to break at her words.. she knew how to tear them down. maybe that’s why they were still here.. they couldn’t get enough ..even if it broke them to tiny little pieces. ❛ fifteen minutes.. ❜ beck repeated, proving that they understood. even if fifteen minutes was nothing compared to the time they’d spent together in the past.
even despite their job.. their ruthless ways with people.. beck always done their absolute best.. to make sure audrey was living in the most normal conditions while she was with them.. no matter if that was leaving someone else in charge so that they could bring her on a date.. no matter if it was them coming home early to have dinner with her.. ask her how her day was. beck just.. really fucking loved her. beck still fucking loved her. watching her.. those doe eyes staring at them.. it broke their heart. ❛ okay.. ❜ they whispered. following behind, they held the door. the least they could do. ❛ come on.. we’ll.. go to my room.. ❜ they insisted. ❛ i just want to talk.. ❜ they promised.
HANDS FIND USE, by digging into her pockets. palms press flatly within the backs of her jeans pockets. audreys head is bowed as she walks free from the suffocating coffee shop. “ thank you. ” passes her lips quietly as beck holds the door for them. she wasn’t a savage--- even beck deserved her manners. mind shuffles over countless questions as he walks stiffly, trailing at becks side as they led the pair to her room. she doesn’t bother to look up, really. she’s too consumed in thought. in the medical field, she’d been taught to contain emotions. restraint was key. many hardships could be placed before you, and had been for audrey. there were times beck was so busted up and she wished to plead to them to stop. but those words never left audreys lips. no matter how much she wished to pull beck away from all the chaos and destruction... she stood at their side. hand in hand. supporting. loving. doing the best she could to be the woman they needed. she saw something beautiful in beck. a fire within them she’d never dare to contain, but rather, stare in awe. their journey to the room is quiet, heavy, the air around them thick and coated with unsolved emotional damage. beck didn’t scare her... but the talk bit? that terrified her. her stomach twisted and turned in response as the person she wanted for the rest of forever walked so close to her side. in another time, another life, they’d be hand in hand as they walked. audrey always aware of their surroundings. of the danger that followed beck. but nonetheless--- ready to take a bullet for them. heels click softly against the pavement as they near the hotel, audrey slinking further into her jacket as she neared her unavoidable demise. upon entering their room audrey finally lifts her head. she peers around the room, their scent faintly dancing around her, she savors the scent. she takes a few steps and pauses before a large window, back to them. she’s quiet for a few more beats before spinning around to face them. there’s frustration in her gaze. “ WHY? ” audrey begins, hands removing from her pockets and falling to her side. beck was only a few inches taller, but suddenly audrey feels much smaller despite the anger behind her words. “ why, BECK? ” fists clench at her side. “ why would you do that to us? ” she’s selfless, but knows she deserves to be selfish. “ to ME. ” audrey begins to tremble as anger builds. fueling her. pushing her forward. “ i want to know what i did so wrong. i want you to look me in the eye and tell me. ” *
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