the canine abandoned by his pack

i am rotting from the inside. nonhuman worthless emo with like 20 other sideblogs. chronically lonely. dont know what touch even is. / / / anti endo! read pinned!! / / / THIS IS MOSTLY A VENT/PD MAIN BLOG, IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT THEN BLOCK ME!

[r0ttingcanine]

i am the invisible avoidant narcissist nobody bothers to warn you about.

(because i blend into the walls and have no social life)

› 27yo european.

› genderqueer nb mascflux (transmasc). use male or gender neutral identifiers and he/they.

› cptsd + avpd + ocpd + bnpd.

› traumatized wolf/wolfdog/werewolf therian + alt (emo + punk + grunge).

› chronically alone and touch starved.

› stoner, substance abuse, etc.

› blog is run by a suspected did system but we/i am not here to talk about that. we are anti-endo and against any form of misinformation.

› i have resources for most pds under their respective tags (#npd resources, #bpd resources, and so on).

i am very much for researched self dx (i do not support using labels without critical thinking) but i do try to get things prof dx'd for my own peace of mind. i am very critical towards the psych system in my country because of a lot of negative experiences. please dont bother me about syscourse or shipcourse as i dont want to get involved in it on this account (and that's not what this blog is for, but do take our endo stance in mind when interacting).

i mind my own business most of the time so dont take things personally if i post vague stuff or dont get involved in communities or other personal stuff.

this is a pd blog purely made for me to vent, talk and journal about stuff pertaining to my pds! if you dont want to read about my digital journal entries either block the tag 'personal.vent' or block me.

read byf/dni below!!

leave hatemail in my inbox, i deserve it. :)

(userboxes by hpder)

↓↓↓↓DNI!!↓↓↓↓

MINORS, RADQUEERS, RADFEMS, TERFS, TRANSID FUCKS, ENDOS + PRO SUPPORTERS AND PPL WHO BELIEVE IN NARC/NPD ABUSE DNI OR BLOCK ME!! – YOU WILL GET BLOCKED IF INTERACTING! I BLOCK FREELY ANYWAY SO ADHERE TO THIS OR NOT, IF YOU GO AGAINST MY DNI YOU WILL GET BLOCKED (I ACTUALLY ADHERE TO MY OWN DNI)!

ps: i love living in narc abuse idiots' heads rent free <3

[r0ttingcanine]

for anyone still mutuals with me btw, thank you guys for being patient. i only rly check in occasionally, but im willing to give out my system blog that i am much more active on if anyone wants it... i just dont want to paste it in here and make it super public (paranoia and stuff).

i might not be the same guy who usually runs this account but what im saying is still true, we are truly thankful for those whove stuck around over months of inactivity. <3 🫂🫂🫂

[r0ttingcanine]

is it ironic if i say that i truly dont remember posting this (probably bc it wasnt me???) haha. but its good i like it.

[omneco]

[requiem-on-water]

Mason Field

[youngheds]

[r0ttingcanine]

for anyone still mutuals with me btw, thank you guys for being patient. i only rly check in occasionally, but im willing to give out my system blog that i am much more active on if anyone wants it... i just dont want to paste it in here and make it super public (paranoia and stuff).

i might not be the same guy who usually runs this account but what im saying is still true, we are truly thankful for those whove stuck around over months of inactivity. <3 🫂🫂🫂

[r0ttingcanine]

now that's either my narc high or a beginning hypomanic episode but i do infact think that most people i come across irl are idiots.

the fact that my mental health guy has literally zero idea about dissociative disorders doesn't make that perspective any better tbh lmao.

[r0ttingcanine]

happy 2 see u guys back on my dash <3 it’s good to see u again :)

thank you!! :3 <3

you too, always.

[hypnotic-flow]

i don’t care that you’re weird. in fact, i encourage it. hell, I’ll be weird with you, the fuck..

[gusty]

[doujinshi]

[npd-confessions]

whats a narc high / crash ?

A narcissistic high is induced by receiving a lot of supply (praise, attention, etc.) or being in a period where your self confidence is at an all time high, it's euphoric and makes (at least in my case) you feel like a god. You feel better than everyone, sometimes it can border into delusional beliefs and complexes as I've read for some. You have more energy, you're more susceptible to being reckless, impulsive, and confident, more susceptible to delusions of grandeur and superiority.

However highs have their crashes because we can never have anything good. Crashes are basically when there's a lack of supply or an event causes a load of shame. It forces you to essentially confront the idea that you're not as amazing as you think you are, it forces you to look at your unstable identity and internalized shame. It usually features symptoms such as intense depression, stress, major self-loathing, and dread.

Both can last hours, days, weeks, even months. A crash can happen suddenly or be a slow build. What triggers highs and crashes change depending on the person.

[importantcatpics]

[r0ttingcanine]

am i sort of well known in the npd community yet for atleast two of my posts that did have quite some reach or do i have to write another one?

send asks btw, im feeling very grandiose today lol and could use someone feeding my ego further. <3

[borderlyx]

Life is literally an existence where you’re stuck inside a broken body and a noisy thing called "brain" that constantly makes you feel angry, sad, and useless, fills your mind with suicidal thoughts, makes you anxious, and leaves you feeling alone because nobody gives a fuck about you, all of that until you go to sleep.

And you call this shit "freedom"? lol

[emaciatedghost]

[kurohimitsu]