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Saving Money

My latest Musings from a Curious Mind newsletter post.

"Today’s post is about personal financial practicality spawned in part by my own efforts at cost cutting. Since leaving my corporate job in 2022 at age 68, and moving into a phase of my life in which I rely on living on less money than I made in corporate America, I have slowly been trimming spending where I can to make my money go farther. I have every intention of living until the age of 100. So, my money needs to stretch to reach that ambitious milestone."

Some bad financial habits I ditched years ago and others I’m still working on — plus a bonus trick for finding financial leaks.

#money #budgeting #expenses

Let's save our democracy

It feels like today is a good day to update this article. Let's save our democracy together.

"The United States is amid a serious and dangerous challenge to our democracy and freedoms, but there are things you can do to help."

The United States is amid a serious and dangerous challenge to our democracy and freedoms, but there are things you can do to help.

#voting #politics

Finding the Words

My latest Love at the Edges newsletter post.

"When you begin to research words to describe relationships, you end up discovering lots of adjectives but relatively few nouns. An adjective describes a noun (or pronoun) but can’t stand alone as a descriptor unto itself. So, when you try to describe relationships that don’t fit neatly into the common boxes, you end up stringing together a bunch of adjectives to modify the noun and after a few sentences realize you’ve only come close to describing it."

How a shortage of relationship vocabulary shapes and limits what we think is possible.

#relationships

The path to social justice is through economic justice

My latest Musings from a Curious Mind newsletter post.

"When social justice topics are discussed, sometimes the realities of people’s day-to-day lives aren’t taken into consideration. We espouse our desires to ensure that women, people of color, immigrants, LGBTQ people, and others have equal rights and a voice at the table. We’re on the right side of the moral and ethical argument to do so, but those rights often fall on deaf ears when the person listening is barely getting by or is seeing their quality of life plummet."

History shows that durable civil rights progress requires a foundation of material stability for the majority – and ignoring that is a losin

Kink Documentary Project

Our Kink Is My Superpower crew has launched a YouTube channel using documentary footage already shot and other content.

Like, subscribe, and click the bell, and please share.

Why We're Turning a Kink Anthology Into Documentary Films | Behind the Scenes of KIMS

#sexuality #Youtube

Check out our new channel

Our Kink Is My Superpower crew has launched a YouTube channel using documentary footage already shot along with other additional content.

Please like, subscribe, and click the bell.

"I Don't Think '50 Shades' Is a Problem" — Frey at Folsom Street Fair

#Youtube

Community building idea that's totally free

Create an event for a day and time when a group goes to your local public library and everyone gets two or three hours to look for a book they want to read.

If people don't already have library cards, this is a great opportunity to get one. They typically only take a few minutes to apply for and receive.

Then everyone goes to a park (or any freely available public space) and sits around, socializes, and explains to the rest of the group why they chose that book.

A month later, everyone reconvenes at the park and each person explains in a few sentences if they liked the book or not, why, and offers a concise summary of what the book is about.

- This builds community. - It costs nothing. - It encourages reading and discussion. - It helps people build their own reading lists. - It drives traffic to libraries which are often funded based on their usage. - It exposes people to other services libraries offer.

If you have a social group with a certain interest, like LGBTQ, sexuality, civil rights, science, business development, or whatever, you can encourage checking out and reading books on those topics.

#reading #community building

Here's what you can do to push back against fascism

"Positive cultural change today (as it has always been) is about leveraging your life where you are: by doing small, possible, measurable daily acts of decency, of protest, of advocacy, of collaboration.

The reason I or anyone else can’t tell you exactly what to do (outside of Congressional phone numbers to call or national events to plug into) is that no one else has the vantage point of the world that you have.

No one is situated in the precise community where you live, with the exact circle of influence you have, with the local connections you’ve made, with the specific knowledge of the way the massive national Trump sewage pipeline flows into your little community, but you do.

I often tell people that we always, always have two things in our possession, no matter the geography or the conditions: proximity to need and agency to alleviate it. As you read or hear these words, you have them."

Doing the work I do, people often comment on my pieces, send me emails, or come up to me after talks saying, “I don’t need to know how bad i

#resistance #antifascism

Sadly, we need this now

6 RULES for Survival under an Authoritarian Regime

Rule 1

Don’t stay indifferent. It WILL concern you eventually. It will concern your family, your friends. Voice your objection IMMEDIATELY. Show them you care. RESIST.

Rule 2

They thrive on FEAR & IGNORANCE. Expose their scaremongering, show flaws in their arguments. Raise awareness, EDUCATE people around you. They will try to distort FACTS, rewrite history. DON’T LET THEM.

Rule 3

Organize protest movements, mobilize civil society. They’re well organized, so should you be. FLOOD THE STREETS. They WILL back off when they see your numbers. They depend on you – the PEOPLE.

Rule 4

Don’t let them DIVIDE you into different classes of citizens, “true Americans”, “patriots” vs “traitors”, “enemies of the state”. You’re ALL citizens, ONE nation, despite different beliefs and ideology. Make your diversity your STRENGTH. Stay TOGETHER for a common goal – survival of your country, of freedom and democracy.

Rule 5

Don’t give up, don’t get tired, and don’t try to wait it out. Don’t hope it will pass. It WON’T. They will manipulate the people, control the media to sway public opinion, fix the electoral system and STAY FOR GOOD.

Rule 6

If you don’t get them to back off or to step down, you better make goddamn SURE that when the next elections come, assuming there’s still any democracy left, NO ONE will vote for the same bastard(s) again!

This text was published in social media in January 2017 in a series of improvised, spontaneous tweets, which reached 3 million views within

#resistance

How to promote events

My latest Love at the Edges newsletter post

"I believe we must continue to nudge people from behind their screens to mingle with their communities. There is simply no replacement for in-person interactions. Nothing has or will replace the unique nature of being in the same physical space with others. No technology will supplant that vital human need for connection."

The better we can promote our events the better the attendance and therefore the community bonds they can form are stronger.

Sex changes as we age, and that's OK

My latest Love at the Edges newsletter post.

"This post topic was prompted by last night’s sexy times romp. Throughout the play I and the guy I was playing with took lots of breaks, repositioned for comfort, and generally adapted throughout the night to the vagaries of age and the physical restrictions accumulated from a life we’ve both lived for many decades. Which is of course fine. I have no issue with adapting my erotic times to meet my mind and body where they’re at during this phase of my life."

Getting older brings with it entirely normal mental and physical changes in our sexuality.

#sexuality #aging

Reading more books is always a good idea

My latest Musings from a Curious Mind newsletter post.

"Always having a book handy is a big plus. I read on buses, trains, and planes. I read when I’m waiting in a long line. I read when I randomly stop and sit on a park bench. I can do this because I always have a book with me."

Scott H. Young offers some great advice on how to read more books.

#books #reading

Great principles to consider on retirement

My latest Musings from a Curious Mind newsletter post.

"I’ve read many books, articles, and watched many videos about how to have a successful retirement. The article by Meg Selig that this post initially references is but one and is representative of much of what is written or said about retirement. That said, I don’t think I’ve seen a better list of suggestions on how to have a successful retirement than Rick’s."

My friend Rick offers six wise principles for a successful retirement.

#retirement

Celebrating a Queer Art Form

Our On Guard podcast crew takes a look at a longstanding queer dance art form that has deep roots within the gay men’s leather community. Flagging (no, not the hanky kind) developed from fan and t-shirt dancing often prominent in early American leather dance and later circuit party club culture. Today it is most commonly done using specially-made weighted silk flags spun while dancing. The modern iteration of flagging has seen a revival in recent years. The On Guard crew wants our audience to experience the joy of this unique queer art form while we discuss its leather roots and tangential cultural influences.

#queer #art forms #dance #music #lgbtq #Youtube

Finding Joy as the World Collapses

My latest Musings from a Curious Mind newsletter post.

"What are really important, at least how I see it, are people, community, love, caring, compassion, creativity, fun, laughter, and looking out for each other. Sure, we have big problems to address in our world and we must address them. But in this clusterfuck of a world that seems to be crumbling around us in real time, we have to find the joy, meaning, and love this wonderful existence we have been gifted offers. This is how I choose to see it. It might be wise for you to ponder how you see all this too."

How to find meaning and joy while the world collapses around us.

#climate change #societal collapse

Random Acts of Conversation

My latest Medium article.

"I urge you to practice random acts of conversation as much as you can. It matters. I think you’ll find it makes you feel better. It will make others feel better too. We all want to be seen, acknowledged, and dare I say, loved. Go forth and love as much as you can. This messed up world we’re experiencing right now needs as much love as we can foster."

How a single interaction between strangers can lift one’s spirits and emphasize the power and meaning of community.

#building community #conversation

Sexual Mismatches

My latest Love at the Edges newsletter post.

"It is usually inevitable that couples, or polyamorous configurations, will experience a mismatch in sexual desire. One of the downsides of overly romanticized, Hollywood-style notions about such partnerships is that we’re acculturated to believe once a partnering is an ongoing relationship we must remain consistently attracted to each other and stay in the same lane of erotic interests and levels of desire. That’s just not reality."

When two (or more) people in an ongoing relationship experience a sexual desire disconnect, there are strategies and mindsets that can help.

#sexuality #relationships

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