Radiohostcecil

"What a completely unexpected turn of events!" The days are long, the hours are short, but time is irrelevant when clocks are not real. Good Evening, Listeners, and Welcome to Night Vale. A friendly public service announcement from the sheriff’s secret...

[radiohostcecil]

It’s like doing a cleanse... forever. 

[radiohostcecil]

Ooc- well I tried to update. I really did. But gifyo and life hate me. So have a picture of my roomies cat.

[kanarae]

It was my birthday today! I’m 26… I’m officially closer to 50 than I am to 0. And each of my siblings made a point to mention how old I am getting. Thanks sibs… that was helpful. Anyway. KTO got me black lipstick as a gift and I’m in love.

[phoskios]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIHLY/PHOS!!!!!!

Thank you so do much!!! (you win all the prizes for attention to detail!)

[radiohostcecil]

Ooc: Good Night! As always, thanks for tuning in. Also as always, I’ll be around for a while. And finally, as always, one day I’ll make a cleanly edited gif. Until then... Enjoy Cecil wearing my clothes better than I do. T_T;;

[radiohostcecil]

Something unfriendly...

[radiohostcecil]

I call that the “Rico Hangover!” Just ride it out until you go to your next mandatory meal. After all, the only way to cure a hangover is by attempting to induce another one. 

[radiohostcecil]

Hey, Cecil! Intern Loren again. Just reminding you of the update to the phone situation - they started making noises that sounded vaguely similar to the moans of the recently resurrected - and adding an edit: they have started answering calls of their own accord, and each one of them has the voice of a different popular voice-over celebrity (for example, one of them sounds remarkably similar to Morgan Freeman, and another sounds like David Attenborough)

Well that’s... exceptionally efficient. I don’t know what our policies on getting the rights to our own telephones, but that does leave us in kind of a strange place in regards to your job. I mean... if technology is advancing and monitoring itself now... We might have to reassign you. For now, keep an eye on their interactions and bonds with each other. The last thing we need is ANOTHER rise of the immobile machines. The Last one was sooooo annoying!

[radiohostcecil]

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I’m just glad to have him back. He’s in far less danger in a town that tries to periodically kill it’s residents according to a vaguely mandated government issued schedule than he was in a desert other-world that has no public plans whatsoever.

[radiohostcecil]

So we have enough money to start a “animal shelter” here in night vale for intern Artemis! Yay us! “Your donations are non-negotiable and no longer our problem.” reads a letter from station management. “Thank you for your  unwillingness to participate in our “voluntary” fundraiser.”

And congratulations to intern Mayne for being the only intern to earn the “Consuming Consumerism” badge. So if you wanted it... too late. It’s unavailable forever. Good luck with the rest of your badges in the future, Interns! Keep an eye or three out for new ones.

[radiohostcecil]

[radiohostcecil]

It wouldn’t be... I... um... oh. I don’t remember. What were we talking about?

[radiohostcecil]

Reads: This List (Ha Ha Ha) I hate when they do this...

[radiohostcecil]

You guys are getting an update tomorrow

so there’s that to be excited about :D

[radiohostcecil]

(Rushes in to the station wearing her new Intern shirt and a huge grin.) Hey! Mr. Palmer, I don’t know if I am too late for the bake sale…I really hope I’m not because I have about four dozen treats in my car…any way umm… babbling sorry. I took the initiative to make up this little sign card explaining my goodies and I’ll haul them in if it’s ok? Oh and I stopped by the barista district and got you a real coffee in place of that awful rock-esque brew from before. Red-eye, double foam latte with agave nectar to sweeten it a bit..Oh! and I almost forgot one of my bake sale goodies for you to go with the coffee. (The intern chirps excitedly.) Thanks again for putting in a good word and stuff…I am over joyed to be interning here and can’t wait to meet the kittens! (Passes a latte, a paper box with a treat inside and her note card for the bake sale.) Umm..if I missed the bake sale do you think maybe the rest of the crew might take some of these off my hands? ‘Cause yeah I can’t eat, well shouldn’t eat, four dozen of these. 

[notecard reads:

Friends, enemies, and undecided,

I understand how difficult the ban on wheat and wheat byproducts can be. Of course it is necessary for not just our safety but for our sense of civic pride! But every so often even the staunchest of us must feel a pang of want for what we have given up. For me those pangs were most sharply felt when strawberries came into season and I could not have my favorite dessert: strawberry shortcake. I was tempted to despair but some clever hunting through my mothers old cook books was a summer salvation for me. So in the spirit of the N.V.C.R bake sale I submit for your enjoyment Summer Fruit Shorty Surprise! In place of the traditional biscuit, angel food cake, or pound cake, I’ve used crispy shells of meringue (surprise!) Each is approx 4 inches around with a hollowed nest in the center that fits about half a cup of diced and lightly sugared (to bring out the juices) fruit. On top is a pillowy cap of fresh unsweetened whipped cream and a drizzle of the sugared juice from the fruit. They come in peach, strawberry (sorry no invisible strawberry, I kinda lost them in my kitchen somewhere.) and prickly pear flavor. I made a bunch of each, but I’m hoping they’ll sell out fast. How could they not at $1 a piece. Get em’ while they last: Summer Fruit Shorty Surprise!

cecil: Well you do know the crew... always eager to get their hands on some hand outs. While Night Vale isn’t known for being particularly frugal, It’s important to always take advantage of others’ generosity. Take advantage. Seriously. Generosity is a limited time offer, you know. That doesn’t come around every day. Kind of like our Bake sale! Don’t forget to get your dessert descriptions in, Interns. Time is running out to grab your event badge for the Bake Sale, and honestly, this Bake Sale permit is set to expire by the end of the month. You can tell by the smell of bleached cinnamon sugar how long it has left. Keep your noses keen to the deadlines.

[radiohostcecil]

Cecil... Intern Barbara here, the station management has been making more noises as of late and the smoke inside the office has gotten worse! I swear I haven't left streaks on any of their windows, what should I do?!

That does sound distressing. Well, Barbara... I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never really been “good” with management myself. I’m a radio host after all, and never studied the art of “complicated but friendly interactions with your employers or supervisors.”Maybe it’s not the window itself that has management riled up? Maybe pledge the window ledge... or... make sure the door hinges only squeak just enough to imply mild foreboding?