DP x DC AU — “We’re Getting Paid to Ruin a Wedding (Professionally)”
College roommates AU where everything is normal—
“Hey,” Danny says casually, halfway through eating cereal at 2am, “I won’t be here the 19th to 21st next month. Got a job.”
Dick, upside down on the couch for no reason: “What kind of job?”
Danny, completely serious:
“Nope. Bride and groom are paying me to attend and act as gay as possible—tastefully—so the groom’s homophobic uncle gets mad enough to punch me.”
Dick slowly sits upright.
“…I’m sorry, they’re paying you to WHAT?”
Danny gestures with his spoon.
“Cause a scene. Get punched. Ruin the vibe. Give them an excuse to cut him off forever.”
“Oh my god, you’re living my dream.”
Danny pulls out his phone.
“I ask if I can bring a plus one.”
“I could even split the payment so they don’t have to pay extra—”
“Screw the money,” Dick cuts in immediately. “I’m in it for the drama.”
“Oh, you are perfect for this.”
“They already added you to the invite,” Danny says, delighted. “They’re really excited about this.”
Dick claps his hands once.
“Oh this is going to be incredible.”
Danny leans back, smirking.
“Hope you’re ready to flirt with me all night, pretty boy~”
“You heard me,” Danny says, completely unbothered. “We gotta sell it.”
“I was raised by Bruce Wayne,” he says, voice cracking just a little. “I can flirt.”
He leans forward just enough to be menacing about it.
“Oh this is gonna be fun.”
“I will absolutely out-flirt you at this wedding.”
Somewhere, in the near future—
A wedding is about to be absolutely derailed
by two idiots who are way too committed to the bit.
And neither of them are ready
for how real the acting might start to feel.
2087
izzy806
germansingergirl
baratheonpilled
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
prguitarman
janainaart
