The Rambling of a Recovering man

This is a semipersonal blog. I plan on using it just to write and post my writings. If you follow I do apologize for not being able to follow you back if you're interesting, but talk to me and I'll give you my other blog.

[ramblesofrecovery-blog]

I only wish the best for you. So take your dreams and fly Don't feel alone Just look to the sky when you feel lost

As you travel on Stay head strong be as stubborn as you can It is your turn to be the one Fight on Fly on Never give in

It may seem dark you may seem lost Just fight the darkness Become your own This is your live and yours alone

[twotruths-go-blog]

Reblog. Click the image, and Enjoy.

[ramblesofrecovery-blog]

mr-derp-herpin:

pandemoniumclubfordeatheaters:

bowiemyman:

twotruths-go:

omg

this game was banned in my school because people would just play it over and over again in the library 

157780

[ramblesofrecovery-blog]

When Greg died in 2006 a part of me died too. My mind set up blocks to get out of the pain. I cannot remember much of my life from 2000-2006 just blimps of memories. like a photograph fading away. I've been trying to unlock it. If you followed me back when I had the original missing letter's you'd remember my counselor saying that writing my help unlock some of those memories. So I wrote to her. I would write her about my day and it worked things would come back. I'd remember a little bit more. I can't let go. Not when she's the only thing that can bring back memories of one of my closest guy friends in that time period. 

I don't have pictures of Greg to go to. I hardly have memories. I lost a close friend and the only thing I have left of him is a picture of his headstone and the thought that he's laughing at me because of how pathetic I've gotten after everything. 

[ramblesofrecovery-blog]

It’s getting harder to keep my head up anymore. Lyrics bring memories and memories bring pain. It’s been two years since I saw you last. The last time I snapped a photograph of you. The last time I lost my breath thinking about someone I love. 

The hardest thing about it is the fact that nothing went wrong. You stopped talking to me and returning my calls. Now you’re starting a family and I’m on suicide watch. The last message I received from you was a few days after my birthday. “my phone is seriously messed up we’ll talk soon I promise” We’ll talk soon… 

I should be able to let go. I shouldn’t feel pain over this. I shouldn’t be surrounded by pills wondering one will fuck me up more. I shouldn’t be here. The only thing I did was love you. And people wonder why I’m scared to love again. The only person I’ve ever loved pushed me away. I can tell what my love does. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I don’t want to lose a piece of me. 

We were never romantically involved. We were closer than any couple. We were always smiling. Deep down I always kind of believed that you were just a pity friend. Someone who was putting up with me. Which makes me question any happy moment we had together. 

The thing that really gets me though is that you’re everywhere. Every song. Every sunset. Every little moment. I was fine with losing love. I wasn’t fine with losing the only person I trusted. 

There are days I hate you for saving me. I wouldn’t be in this mess if you would have let me go. like you ended up doing anyways. Then there are days I thank you because I can still see beauty in people