spacebar system go brrrrrrrrrrrr

i got those voices in the brain

[randomlychangingsystem]

we have too many alters to do color names, so we have instead delegated to everyone using their hexcode color as their tag. also that's too many extra names to make and remember.

our collective name is spacebar. the keyboard spacebar (⌨️ anon). we are bodily adult 21↑, they/them pronouns. was self-discovered in 2021.

this blog is just random thoughts and comics occasionally.

our stance is you don't get to police other people. we are systems and we all experience plurality. there is no Right way to experience plurality.

asks are always open.

[randomlychangingsystem]

quick annoucement L O L (i'm saying the letters separately)

no i don't feel comfortable with sharing my name to the internet. ajax was the one exception and now they're integrated in me and i'm not ajax. so. go my hex code color code name tag whatever.

[nullnova]

but you can't save everyone.

[randomlychangingsystem]

i thought i was safe to unmask in this household. (parents don't know we are a system just for context.)

also wow it's the body would you look at that ain't that cool.

transcript under the cut

mom: why is your fact so serious? is something bothering you?

gray: ...no, i'm fine mom: ok... you should smile more!

gray (thinking): ugh why would she ask that. I'm not upset, this is my face. gray (thinking): though... actually, I think I have a very resting bitch face. I'm gonna have to mask, aren't I...

[randomlychangingsystem]

has a stray thought

how many of your alters have a name that is just a Human Name and how many of your alters have extremely weird names that are made up because it was just syllables that were mashed together willynilly

[classifiedcove]

I've finally had the time to read the Haunted Self (morseo listening, I'm working and using it as an audiobook, haha), and it truly is a very insightful bit of text. It is causing me to view our own system in a bit of a different light, as well as understand ourselves (and other types of dissociation disorders, really) a whole lot better. I'd highly recommend it

[randomlychangingsystem]

i made a gimmick blog despite not being popular enough to promote it

@plural-fusion-culture-is

please look at it

how does one promote a blog when you aren't popular yourself ToT

[randomlychangingsystem]

the body: i'd prefer not to eat a lot of meat, but i like seafood! it's the only protein i'm okay with eating large amounts of!

me: I FUCKING HATE SEAFOOD GET THAT SHII AWAY FROM ME UGH. AUGH. I FEEL FUCKING SICK AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[randomlychangingsystem]

our mother asked why i had such a serious face. was i thinking super hard? was i concerned about something? is something worrying me? you're frowning so much, what's wrong?

no... this is just my face... i'm not upset about anything...

i mean now that you're pointing it out i guess i have a bit of a resting bitch face.

damnit... now i have to mask at home as well... this is exhausting...

[fruitorchardsystem]

Joining Discord servers while being plural is a nightmare not because people are evil about it (we have actually had good luck with people being chill) but because we will switch and the next guy wants absolutely nothing to do with them.and then we don’t speak for like days

[randomlychangingsystem]

system relationships become awkward when you are a split of a split of a pre-existing alter that has a pre-existing relationship. you retain a feeling of closeness, despite being complete strangers who have never met.

transcript under the cut

gray: fronting blue enters headspace, blue and gray are strangers gray: omg hi- gray: ...?

gray: why was I acting so familiar with someone I've never met?

System History gray is a split of a split, and the original alter has a found family sibling relationship gray: ... that's awkward blue: ... yeah

Later gray is leaning on blue's shoulder blue: ..um excuse me gray: -oh

gray: i'm sorry *embarrassed* blue: :|

[shapesys]

nobody talks about how lonely plurality can be. despite having people constantly with me literally in my head i feel so alone.

it can be such an isolating experience. there is a huge part of our mind and our identity i can tell nobody about. i have to keep so much of ourself hidden behind a locked door and that makes it so hard to really connect with anybody. i cant imagine how my headmates feel having to pretend theyre me and hide their entire identity. hell i kind of can, im still pretending to be the previous host. ive stolen this name and this skin and i can tell Nobody. and the people we have told have gone out of their way to forget.

bringing plurality up makes the air go stale. conversations turn awkward and slowly trickle away because they now know there is something Wrong with me. something Wrong that they havent been desensitised to like they have been with Autism and Trans People. we havent been turned Normal enough yet. Singlet Society will look at and then quickly away from us. and i have learned the bitter taste they get in their throats from acknowledging us.

plurality is a relatively common experience and yet we're one of the most underground communities. nobody speaks up. we're seen as a tiny statistic and so wrapped up in stigma and misinformation that we're all too afraid to open our mouth and correct. and the worst part is they know we exist. they know we exist and they choose to pretend we dont. it's so isolating.

[thenestsystem]

sorry that happened to u but i’m built different (i forgot)

[notecardpasta]

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

[system-error-404-who-are-you]

a shitty explanation of being monoconscious

- 🐸🎧

[classifiedcove]

So often we'll start talking about smth that happened that whoever is fronting at the time has no recollection of and it's like. who is up here who is saying this

[randomlychangingsystem]

fuck... ajax wanted to make a comic on monoconsciousness. he thought a lot about it.

they're not here anymore though. got torn apart by the integration mess we're in.

how do we do a comic about monoconsiousness urhhhhhhh